Drewau2005 Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Hi Thanks for a great forum. I would like to kindly ask advice on my situation. My wife and I are seperated (it has been nearly a year). I was devastated when she left as I was ignorant of the way she was truly feeling. I did the guy thing was a provider, problem solever etc etc. That said, I was also, at least I thought, an active listener and I was generally interested in her world. I also thought I was taking into her account her emotional needs but I lapssed into the day to day routine. Her main reason given for leaving was that we were on 'diffent paths'. She has been into alternative therapies and transpersonal psychology for awhile and I work in financial markets. Howver, I have read widely in her area and actually introduced her to some new thought. That said I see myself as borrowing from a number of different inetersts and philiosphies. whereas my wife tends to concentrate on one area. We have been speaking relatively regularly and have both said we still 'love; each other. My question is how do we proceed from here in the most effective way ? We have had some counselling but there have been reasons why we haven't progressed. The first two counsellors, either my wife or I didn't warm too. We saw two counsellors one time each. The third counsellor my wife didn't respond too nad I knew her from previous years and so there was a historical 'relationship' there. By the time we got to the last counsellor we were ready to seperate and proceeded on that basis. There is still something there and I do love her and she says she love me. Whereto form here ? Sorry for the long post, any thoughts greatly appreciated. Drew [color:blue] [/color]
Becoming Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 What do you want? What does she want? I think the next step is to answer those questions and start negotiating a life together that's mutually acceptable.
mess4u Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 Find a path that you two can walk together. I think it is great that you two love eachother enough to go to counselling together in the first place. That says alot about both of you. But it didnt work out with counselling so try to help eachother completly understand eachother and what you need from eachother by your selves. Start Dating, Move slow. Start your love all over again and be reminded of why you got married to begin with. I would love it if my husband was like when were dating. Guys do so many things to get your attention to say pick me. pick me. !!!! I also read that book (men from mars women from venus)very basic understanding of how the two sexes see things diff. and It really helped me to understand my husband better. Read something together while you date and be flirty! I have always loved extra special att. that says I Got You Babe. Good Luck!
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