MN Broken & Confused Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 Hello All, Its been a month now since the girl I loved brokeup with me. She didn't want to work out our issues and just ended it. She paid me back for an expensive gift I bought her. I think its another guy involved, but not 100% sure. What's bothering me is that she has not even bothered to call in the last month to see if I am still alive or how I am doing. She told me she loves me the day we broke up, but I have not heard from her. I have not called either because i was the one who was devastated. Do you think she will ever call? Should I call her? Please Help!!
KittenMoon Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 You shouldn't call, especially if you think there's another guy involved. Instead of wondering if she is going to call, tell yourself she isn't. Ever. Waiting for something that may happen, but is likely not to, can tear you up inside. Would you like to share more details about your relationship so that those with similar situations can respond to you?
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 Hello again, MY relationship with her was 2 years and it had its ups and downs. There were some reasons that i lost trust her the last few months of our relationship. She denied it, but i know she did something wrong and was a hypocrite about it. The mistrust caused a bunch of stuip fights that lead to more and more fighting. Then one day, about a month ago, she tells me she is getting old and wants to be married in one year and that i am not going anywhere in life, but i have a great job, make pretty decent money. She said we are not on the same page in life and that she will be making more money when she gets out of school. She was never like this before. She didnt even want to sit down and talk about a plan for us. She just said it isnt going to work and she also never introduced me to her family in 2 year of dating. I think she met someone or her parents are hooking her up....I think she wants someone who makes a lot of money, maybe i am wrong. She has not called in a month since the breakup and i have kept NC, but i still miss her. What should I do? Should i call her? Please help!
richardcruz Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 By calling her, you will be making the classic mistake that mostly everyone (as well as myself) at this stage of being dumped has made. Luckily, you have been strong enough to stay NC for a month and I commend for that, as I was unable to do so right after being dumped. Believe me when I tell you THERE ISNT ANY WORDS THAT YOU CAN SAY TO MAKE HER CHANGE HER MIND. This is the biggest thing I learned from my ordeal and the best piece of advice that I can give you. There isn't any combination of words that you can think of that will make her think differently. Also reminding her of old memories you two shared also doesn't work. Basically, if she left on her own for what ever reason she might try to BS you with, she needs to come back on her own. It took me 4 months of crying and begging and pestering to finally realize this. Read my post. I too feel that my ex left me because she started seeing someone else. What your ex is doing is she is trying to make it seem that it is your fault for what is happening. What this ends up doing to you is it sends your self esteem in a downward spiral. You begin to over analyze everything that was said and done to figure out where you went wrong, but the truth is its not your fault. She is the one thats responsible for leaving your relationship. Calling her won't make a difference. Who knows if she will ever really call back or not. One thing is for certain only time will tell but its best to probably think that she will never call you back so you can start to move on without any false hope. I know is hard to swallow but the sooner you are able to accept it, the sooner you will be able to start the healing process. I myself have been NC for 2 weeks after 3 months of being treated like s*** by ex and I truly believe my ex will never contact me ever again. As painful as this has been, I have began to accept our break up almost as you would accept a death of a loved one. Be strong and stick to NC. You have been doing a great job so far. Oh yeah, and if she wants someone with more money and your doing the very best you can to make something out of yourself, tell her to go f**k off.
morphius Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 1. By calling her, you will be making the classic mistake that mostly everyone (as well as myself) at this stage of being dumped has made. Luckily, you have been strong enough to stay NC for a month and I commend for that, as I was unable to do so right after being dumped. Believe me when I tell you THERE ISNT ANY WORDS THAT YOU CAN SAY TO MAKE HER CHANGE HER MIND. This is the biggest thing I learned from my ordeal and the best piece of advice that I can give you. 2. Oh yeah, and if she wants someone with more money and your doing the very best you can to make something out of yourself, tell her to go f**k off. Amen to that! Morph
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 Thanks morphius, richardcruz and KittenMoon for repsonding back. I know what you all are saying make sense and is the best thing for me to do. Richardcruz, you should definately do the NC thing. It does help!. Yeah, I work hard, I am going to school, go to the gym, trying to better myself everyday and she says "uhh, we are not on the same page in life." That's bulls***, she never mentioned anything me 2 years ago when we started dating. I know she lied to me about talking to another guy and when I confronted her about she tried to make me look like a fool. To this day, I bet she thinks, wow, i really tricked him and he still doesnt know.. F**k that. I get upset and sad somtimes thinking about her, but then i get angry and pissed off thinking about how she played me. There is a lot of other stuff that bothers me about her, but i did love her, so I do sometimes feel like I still want to be with her. But still yet I have not called her in a month and she has not even bothered to pick up the phone and see if I am alive or how is everything going with me. The last thing she said on the last day i talked to her was, "u know I love you" and "we are best friends" Bulls***....if you love someone and have invested 2 years, then at least have decency to see how they are doing, knowing that I was/am still hurting. She is spoiled bro....I dont know else to do. Sorry if this didnt make sense, i was typing fast and out of emotion at the moment. Thanks for listening....
Author MN Broken & Confused Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Its going on 2 months that my ex left me. I really thought she would have at least called out of common decency for someone you spend 2 years of your adult life with. She just moved on soo quick and continued to party with her friends. I do think about her and wonder why she hasnt called. The last thing she said to me was "your my best friend and you know I love you"...Ya ya ya...if she really did care she could have called to see if i am still alive. Any advice on how to completely remove her from my head and stop wondering why she hasnt called yet? Thanks
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