Guest Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 It's kinda been a rough last month or so to me. My girlfriend of over two years broke up with me to find herself because she felt she had lost her own identity after us dating so long. She told me I should do the same, and one day, she said a couple of months, we could reconsile and date again because she really did love me and she knew I felt the same about her. She also told me she planned to be single, because she really wanted to find herself, and asked I do the same. I know after two years, I shoulda had faith in that we would work out because we both loved each other with all our hearts, but I didn't. I guess it drove her away when she realized it. She's now dating some other guy. So much for finding herself I guess. I asked why she had done this. Her answer, "You had been losing faith way to fast and this new guy I'm dating is always living for the day. Me and you were always about definite plans and future things." That was a low blow to hear the girl I loved and did everything for, now happy with another. I've been trying to keep busy, making plans, going out. IDK, just seems like all my plans just fall thru and I wind up sitting at home, crying and being upset because my ex is out having the time of her life. I guess you could call it "making up for lost time" for the last two years. She even had an away message up last night saying "going out, what I shoulda been doing the last two year of my life." I feel like im destined to be alone the rest of my life with how things are going. I had put up an away message myself the other nigth that I guess caught her attention. It was something about regrets in my life. She asked me several times if she was a regret now. I didn't respond because, honestly, I dont know what she is to me now. I love her, but I hate her for doing this. I want her back but after everything, I dont know if I could. Then I met this new girl at work. She really pretty, really nice, just all around a great girl. We hung out one night, and we really hit it off. We even wound up kissing and cuddling. We had a serious talk about stuff the next day, telling each other how we really didnt want a seriously relationship. Just wanted to have a good time. No i dont mean like just sex buddies or w/e. Well I guess I misunderstood what she really meant. I suggested maybe just seeing each other. Last night pretty much set me straight. She bluntly told me she want absolutely no string attached. She just wanted to go out and have a good time with her friends. So much for that lil bit of faith I had left. My mom had suggested to me to go get counseling, because shes worried about me. She thinks I have depression. I'm starting to believe so too. I need help badly, if anyone can give me advice or help me out with whatever, at this stage, I'll just about take any advice I can get. Sorry for the life story. It just a lot going on.
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