Kristin9844 Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 My boyfriend of 4 years- we've lived together for 2- Packed his things and told me he wasn't ready to be in this serious of a relationship. He swears there is no one else- and I believe him- He says he just needs time. The whole time he was packing he kept crying and telling me this is the stupidist thing he's ever done. He moved back with his dad 300 miles away but he calls me every day and tells me he loves me and misses me. He says he may be home someday he just hasn't been there long enough yet to know if he did the right thing. He's not asking me to wait for him but he doesn't want to be with anyone else. I'm just so confused bc we were'nt having any problems we weren't talking about getting married or having kids or anything.... I don't understand. I love him so much and can't imagine not being with him. He's says he won't be coming home in a week or anything but maybe in a couple of months. I know some time apart may be good for us but what if I lose him in those couple of months??? Should I be asking him to come home or should I not? And if he does come hom how will I know he won't leave me again? If anyone has any advice or insight on what I should do or why he left I would appreciate it.
KNE10 Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 Judging from my experience, my gf that we lived together for two years also said that she needed time and swore that there was nobody else but is now seeing somebody. I don't know if she was seeing him before we broke up as i am not contacting her to tell her that i know. Even two weeks ago she was telling me that she needed some time alone and wasn't ready to move into something else. I guess it takes guts for them to tell us the truth. I don't know if it's the same with your case but if he left this relationship, it means that he wants to experience new things. And he probably will.
tearful_soul22 Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 There's always that uneasy feeling when you're in an ldr relationship and no matter how much you try to avoid thinking about the unevitable, that nagging thoughts remain. But then again, if he calls you all the time, had reassured you he will be back, tells you he misses you a lot and all that, then i don't see any reason for you to worry. Maybe it's just my optimistic view, so i suggest you try to be a bit patient, and allow him some time to grow. Meanwhile, take care and i sincerely hope your relationship will be fruitful and satisfying as you hope it to be. Hang in there....
panthera_leo Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 Hey kristin. I know exactly how your feeling, and its horrible! My bf of 2 and a half years left me 5 months ago because of the same reasons... wanted time alone to think about things. He didn't want me to wait and he didn't want to find someone else blah blah. He also wanted to be friends but that was unbearable for me. I was devastated to say the least. First off i think its important that you accept the relationship is over... for now. Concentrate on yourself and try to go out and have fun. I know its easier said than done but i forced myself to go out... and im a better person for it! The quicker you realise its over, the quicker you can work on yourself. Secondly, give him what he asked for...time apart. My ex and I have had pretty much no contact since the break up, thats 5 months, and all of a sudden he's writing me a letter about how he thinks the reasons behind our breakup were stupid. Your guy needs time to think about what he really wants and he'll come back if what you had was true. You cant worry about whether you're going to lose him. The reality of the situation is whatever happens happens... and you cant do anything about it. Harsh but true. You're saying ur confused because you didnt have any problems. It often happens like this. Unfortunately one person in the relationship feels differently. Its not your fault that he left, its something he feels he needs to do. So let him do it. The worst thing you can do is keep nagging him. I suggest you tell him to stop phoning you everyday to allow a cooling off period. Then you can take a step back and really think about things. I know how hard it is to let go, but i think thats the only way forward. Time apart does wonders as long as you focus on yourself...and not him. Good luck! Keep us posted
Recommended Posts