avellana Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 I saw my ex whose 50. I'm 35. He said i was the oldest women he had ever dated. I was never ok with this. The last thing he said to me before we broke up is you can't have two ar lphas. I disagree. He's a conrol freak, and a sugar daddy (was never my interest in him, I'm doin' ok) for whatever girl comes his way. I just saw his current love interest and she's in her early 20s- 22,23. I would like to think I'm a liberal, open-minded person... but this really makes my skin crawl. What do you think? Is he a predator? I guess if feel sorry for her becuase I don't think she's experienced enough to know what's coming her way.
Tony T Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 There are many reasons people are attracted to certain people. From a biological standpoint, some older men are instinctively attracted to younger women who may have a better chance of reproducing. Of course, many don't really have that in mind necessarily. Some men are just visual people and like hard bodies. Some men like young women as a way of regressing in years, feeling younger. Some men like younger women because they (the men) may not be so great in bed and the younger women aren't as experienced and may not realize that so quickly. Some men like younger women because the younger women give them an ego boost by admiring their accomplishments and seeking their wisdom. Some men like younger women because they aren't yet worn by life and pissed at men in general. Some men date young women to get in touch with another generation and to see just what's going on. Some men find it easier to date younger women initially because they seem to appreciate them more...of course, that doesn't last for long in many instances. Some men date younger women because the have less of a sexual history and may look up to them where that is concerned. Some men find younger women refreshing and more apt to respect them than some others they perhaps have dated. Some men date young women and never, ever date older ones...they just sort of arrest at a certain age range...because their own emotional make up is arrested at that level. Some men date young women because they just like them. Most of the men who date younger women are not predators...unless the younger woman is under the age of 18. The only reason you should feel sorry for his new girl is that she probably won't last very long.
stoopid_guy Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 What do you think? Is he a predator? He sounds like a jerk, but that doesn't mean all men who date younger women are the same way. Tony's list is pretty comprehensive on the "why's," but it's also possible that a guy falls for a lady who just happens to be younger. If both are established adults with careers, homes, etc., I see nothing strange about it. When one's an established adult and the other isn't, I agree that it's a little creepy.
Author avellana Posted July 11, 2006 Author Posted July 11, 2006 I understand the points above. In this case, the exs were financially dependent- foreigners, college students, waitresses, etc. Not good. He's lived with a lot of women. He wants to live together immediately. He says he doesn't want to just date- doesn't want to play games. I didn't think it was a good idea because it was too early- i said, no. Knowing what i do now it would have been a disastear. My ex mentioned that one of girlfriends (exchange student) was jeleous and that it indicated that she cared. I tried to explain that she was totally dependent on him, and probably insecure because of it. He thought it was a sign of true love. He's really disfunctional and controlling. I think he just relies on their inexperience and finds comfort in thier low expectations. He's admitted to some of this. It's just easy for him. I guess i can understand this since he has a hard time managing life. He has a great house, and to a young women it is hard to turn down. He probably looks like he has it together. He's a control freak at heart and is everything that goes along with being one. He doesn't know the difference between control and love that's for sure. I've been trying to figure out whether or not he's a creep or a nice guy. Any comments?
ronnieromance Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 Some men date young women because they just like them. Most of the men who date younger women are not predators...unless the younger woman is under the age of 18. The only reason you should feel sorry for his new girl is that she probably won't last very long. IDK, your last paragraph, though I understand what you mean, bothers me. It's the idea of legality vs ethics/morality, or even just good taste or agenda, if you want. To say that he can't be considered a "predator" (I don't think that. Justa sever lack of game) because she is 18 and up is a cop-out to me. A technicallity. I'm 30 and I try to avoind anyone under 25, for the most part. Unless she's lightyears ahead of her contemporaries, I don't want any from youngsters. -R-
tinktronik Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 you can't have two ar lphas What are ar lphas ???
Author avellana Posted July 12, 2006 Author Posted July 12, 2006 sorry, new laptop. alphas. I guess I was too much of my own person for him.
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