gabelee Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 I have a date in about 48 hrs., one that I regret making. I am honoring the date but don't know how to best tell him I'm not interested in seeing him afterwards without making myself look like a jerk (I acted like one when I asked him out just because I was lonely). I already look like a jerk to ME. How to let him know without touching his ego. He's really a nice guy, but not really a guy for me. HELP!
spinnelli Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 just go with an open mind and have a good time, a date doesn't always have to be a means to an end. It's a few hours talking to another human being, you could make a new friend, what's the harm in that? And if he asks you out again, tell him you don't see things going further because you are not ready to date. That is the truth, without going into too many details and unnecessarily crushing the guy's ego.
wintercs Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 Agreed. Make him make the next offer and if/when he does, tell him that you're not ready to date right now, that you need to get things straight in your own life, and that it's not his fault.
Author gabelee Posted July 10, 2006 Author Posted July 10, 2006 Thanks a bunch for the good advice,posters. Simple and true is best.
Author gabelee Posted July 10, 2006 Author Posted July 10, 2006 And yet...it's because **I** was the one who took the initiative to ask **him** out that I'm afraid he might become offended, or perhaps wonder if it was something he said or did, etc. Because if he asks for a second date (it's quite possible he will) and I refuse because "I'm not ready to date," while that is the truth, it will look like I changed my mind as a result of how our date went. Do you think it might be better to just cancel the date due to a "conflict?" I still have 36 hrs. Or do I just need to "grow up" here?
magichands Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 It's difficult to see how you can make it up to him. Maybe you owe him a night of hott secs before you fess up. Or maybe it's not that big of an issue. If you are going through with the date, then at least go into it with an open mind.
Guest Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 If you already know that he doesn't trip your trigger and that you only asked him out because you were lonely ( you were using him ) Then you need to break the date and stop the bleeding.. He will be upset when he figures out that you used him
daphne Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 Don't be that wishy washy girl with no integrity. Finish what you start. You don't have to marry him. Just like spinnelli said, just go out and have fun. If he asks you out again, let him know where your head is at. If he's a jerk about it, then you'll be glad youw eren't ready to date.
Guest Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 exactly!, you are the one that's making this more of a big deal than it has to be. People refuse second dates all the time for a variety of reasons, it's not the end of the world and you shouldn't be worried about hurting the guy's feelings , especially if you're truthful, I'm sure he'll get over it somehow. Secondly, stop selling yourself short here, just go out and have a good time, you asked him to dinner, it's not a marriage proposal or anything. Keep an open mind, you never know, you just may be pleasantly suprised
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