Sickand tired Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 I would like to tell all of you something about being "Friends with benefits" I was in a relationship until Jan of this year, lasted about a year, she dumped me because she no longer felt anything for me, said I wasn't trying to be part of her life and all that crap. About a month after we ended up in bed and decided to try the casual sex thing, she has dated other men but nothing serious, partly because she is pretty screwed up herself. I still care about her but I don't really love her anymore, I guess I just feel sorry for her because of all the crap she has gone through, single mom with 2 boys, twice divorced, lousy childhood. To put it simply she has been through the ringer a few times. Now, I realise that a persons experiences shape them, but I myself have had a very tough time of it as well, but I don't use that as an excuse for being cruel or acting irrational, I guess some people have more control over themselves than others. In the beginning things were great, she was very loving and caring toward me and she told some friends of mine that I was very loving and caring, great with her boys and she thought that I was the "one". As soon as we slept together everything about her changed, she would call me names and berate me for trivial things. I don't understand why she changed but I know she has "man issues" as she always puts it. I really had strong feelings for her, I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I thought if we tried the FWB thing that over time we may somehow find what we had in the beginning. I was wrong, God was I wrong ! Over the last 7 months I have come to hate her more than ever. The sex is always amazing but everything else about her just makes me shudder. If your looking for a surefire way to get over your ex get them to be a friend with benefits. You will soon realise that these people are not worth the time of day. By having a purely sexual relationship with an ex you will see them as they really are, if you can control your feelings, it isn't always easy but I have kept a tight reign on mine. You will begin to see how screwed up and petty they really are. With this one I like to use the term "train wreck" So go ahead and try it but remember to to keep your feelings to yourself and you will soon realise that your ex isn't worth the effort of trying to reunite with them. I know some of you are dying to get back with your exes but remember that it will never be the same, you will always have the breakup hanging over your heads like a dark cloud of despair. Also if you are the one who comes crawling back you will always be at a disadvantage. I hate my ex and as far as I am concerned she can rot in a garbage dump for eternity.
Tony T Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 So I gather from your post that you are no longer very fond of your ex!
amaysngrace Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 As soon as we slept together everything about her changed, she would call me names and berate me for trivial things. I don't understand why she changed but I know she has "man issues" as she always puts it. Yeah, she's got man issues, no doubt. And you were the recipient of every bad feeling she harbors towards all the men who have wronged her in the past. Sorry to say this, but you most likely have some issues of your own now. She has damaged you by emotionally abusing you. Address it, work through it, and correct it before entering another relationship, if you haven't done so already.
Diver012 Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 Sounds to me like shes looking for someone to make her happy, when she should be working on making herself happy. It worked for a little while, but using someone like this to fulfill that "emptyness" is temporary at best. It never ever lasts. This has happened to me recently. I think my EX was using me to make her happy, because without someone in her life, she is not happy on her own. Its tragic that so many people walk around life like this thinking they need someone to "Complete" them.
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