dub03 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Its funny. I've read all of the comments in this forum about NC and what not, and have hoped that it will work for me to get my girl back. I get encouraged when hear stories about how they have worked, and bam it hits me. I totally forgot that I have a story like that, but since I never tried to do it intentionally I totally forgot about it. I was 18 when I got into my first serious relationship. She broke up with me after about 2 months. I started to do all the no no's...not knowing at the time how wrong they were: Acting depressed, calling, pleading, writing love notes etc... Needless to say it didn't work. Another girl that was pretty hot, had a bit of a crush on me. We started hanging out, and about a month later started sleeping together. One night were at a big party, and my ex was there too. For some reason the girl I was with at the time, felt the need to always be dancing and making out with me right near her. It made my ex so mad and upset. After that it didn't take long for my ex to confess that she wanted me back. I left the other girl, and went back to my ex. Funny... cause then the other girl wrote me like a 14 page letter, and did all the no no's I didn't know about back then as well. That just made me think she was pathetic, and I ignored her. Well my ex and I dated for 3 years after that until we both realized it wasn't going to last. I didn't even realize that I have my own personal experience to draw from, who knows if I can get it to work again. But atleast I know PERSONALLY that it does work and there is hope if you follow the rules.
johan Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Its funny. I've read all of the comments in this forum about NC and what not, and have hoped that it will work for me to get my girl back. Cutting off contact should not be thought of as a way to get the other person to do something (like missing you, calling you crying and wanting you back). It is part of the process of scrubbing that person permanently out of your life. At the same time it gets you out of theirs. It's the healthy alternative to all the no-no's you mentioned. The process should involve giving up all hope for a future with that person, because frankly, there is no hope.
Author dub03 Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 What a bleak and glass is half empty outlook that is. I am not going to be misserable and wait around for this girl. I'm already moving on, and will continue to. But there is obviously still hope. I just wrote about a personal experience of mine where I did break up with someone, and did get back together with her for 3 years after that. In the end we both decided its for the best if we moved on, but we were very happy together for a long time after all of the drama died down.
Diver012 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Cutting off contact should not be thought of as a way to get the other person to do something (like missing you, calling you crying and wanting you back). It is part of the process of scrubbing that person permanently out of your life. At the same time it gets you out of theirs. It's the healthy alternative to all the no-no's you mentioned. The process should involve giving up all hope for a future with that person, because frankly, there is no hope. Totally agree. I would find it very difficult to simply take someone back because they got jealous of another girl. I would need a lot more information like... what would be different? How can I trust you again? Its kinda like, you hurt me once, shame on you. You hurt me twice, shame on me.
MrPot Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 The important and worthwhile point of this post is that if we all think about it, we probably have our own experiences where being a challenge has benefited us, even if we have broken that ourselves. I just lost my girlfriend of six months, and for the first week or two I did all the "no-nos." We're kind of in a friendship state right now (yet she's jealous about girls I'm talkin to), and I've decided, through my NC, that I don't want her back anymore anyway. But the way I got this girl in the first place was by stopping my pursuit of her and acting like I didn't care about her anymore, while pursuing other girls. A couple weeks of this and she was mine. And on the other side of the events, I was never even interested in this girl until she started dating someone else and I thought it was going to be serious. Jealousy isn't necessarily what leads someone back to you, or you to them. We want what we can't have, and we definitely want someone with an attitude that says "I don't need you, and frankly, I'm not interested." A challenge is way more appealing than an obsessed admirer, to either sex. Once someone appears to be unavailable, they become vastly more appealing.
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