stoopid_guy Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 The "why men cheat" threads are fascinating and insightful, but why do women share (even unwillingly.) Is it because people are just stoopid in matters of the heart? The risk? The challenge? Is it because there are more men who can satisfy multiple women than there are men who can satisfy one? (I know, serious topic, but that doesn't mean we can't use a bit of humor.)
alfagrl Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 women for the most part don't like to share. There's a quote from a sociologist, W.I. Thomas "If a persons believes something is real, then its real in its consequences." If a woman believes what she has with her significant other is real...real feelings, real love, then she will hold on to that feeling in hopes the man will see it that way too. So its not looked at from the perspective of sharing him, the risk or challange, as much as it is holding on for the prospect of true love. IMO
bunset Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 The "why men cheat" threads are fascinating and insightful, but why do women share (even unwillingly.) Is it because people are just stoopid in matters of the heart? The risk? The challenge? Is it because there are more men who can satisfy multiple women than there are men who can satisfy one? (I know, serious topic, but that doesn't mean we can't use a bit of humor.) I took my relationship for what it was. I was getting some very fulfilling and satisfying time and energy from my man. It hadn't become a tug-of-war... yet. I love him that much, that I'll take him as he is. I had even remarked that what I got was so wonderful that it would be a shame if no other good woman was able to benefit. I actually believed that I was getting a gift of every minute that I had, and it would be greedy of me to expect or want more. Not that I was unworthy of more, but that I had been blessed to have that much to begin with. Right now I don't feel 'he's too good for me, that's why she has him' but actually, 'she better appreciate him as much as I did'
Sami_D Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I wouldn't share. If I had thought, for one minute, that he had any love feelings left for his wife (beyond what one ordinarily feels for an ex one has shared a R with), or that he was having sex with her... there is no way I would have been involved with him.
lovernotafighter Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 when me and my MM fist started all this we were meeting needs we weren't getting in our marriages. we are both still married..though I'm trying to leave..however, we are fine with the sharing with the spouses but when it comes to anyone else we are kinda jealous and covetous...it's such a odd odd relationship. *shakes head* I believe it is because we entered the relationship with out blinders on and went backwards...we were great friends and tremulously attracted to one another..hell that is why we became friends..it was desire to the extreme, we didn't have a grip on it in our opinion and after much deliberation from both of us we gave in to our undeniable yearning. then..we fell in love..that posed a new and curious problem for both us and it's were we are now..trying to figure out what to do about it..we went nc..we get back together..we try to just be friends..it's not possible. I believe now is where we are getting to the point that we in fact are starting to become jealous of each others spouses..but it is guarded and reserved.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 I just don't consider it sharing. In my situation, I did not find out that he was married until well into the relationship. By then, it was past the point of no return. Our relationship is totally independent of his M, as his M is totally independent of our relationship. It had nothing to do with risk-taking or a challenge in my case. I met someone that I was attracted to and clicked with on every level and fell in love with him and he fell in love with me. And we're happy with the way things are right now. Of course that could change for the better or the worst. But that is true of all relationships.
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