TDX Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Hey everyone, I am very new to this community and was wondering if you could give some comments in this matter. I have been on and off with my girlfriend for three years now. She resides in MA and I live in FL. During her last visit in June for her birthday we decided to make it official and go steady. We both live healthy lifestyles and an even healthier social life. We both made goals to have her move down to FL during the begining of 2007. It all sounds simple but, are there other things we both need to discuss and talk about further during this six month wait? Im pretty sure a big life altering change like this doesn't go easy. And why do I feel wierd when I know she is out late at night during the weekends even though I trust her not to do anything stupid? Thanks for your time and hope to see some responses soon. -Patrick
Outcast Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Is she going to move into her own place or live with you?
tearful_soul22 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 you feel weird because you love her..but you have to be a lil bit more trusting. i know..easier said than done especially when distance is an issue for now, but just try to be optimistic and don't let fear intimidate you. take care and best of luck!
Author TDX Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 Outcast, yes she is moving in with me. I was fortunate enough to save up and get a mortgage for a nice house on Marco Island. And thanks tearful_soul for your comment. =)
Outcast Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Well, IMHO it's a bad idea for her to change cities and move in with you. It's too much too soon and may just toll the death knell on your relationship. I would strongly suggest she move to a place of her own at first and that you two spend time together getting to know each other in person. Learning to live with someone is hard enough when you've known each other in person for a long while; it's much too hard when you've not spent a whole lot of time together at all. However if you're both hellbent on doing this, go buy yourselves one or two of the 'n questions to ask before you marry' books. They're sort of the cheapo version of a premarital course. Of course you're not marrying but living together requires most of the same considerations. But really rethink this plan.
Author TDX Posted July 10, 2006 Author Posted July 10, 2006 Thank you outcast for your suggestion as well.
daho Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 Hey, i've recently posted a thread about LDR as well as i personally am trying to prepare myself for what is going to be a rather difficult situation. I just hope sharing my opinion can help with your situation. Its nice how you guys see each other and are planning to move in together? But again take things slow, its quite a big change moving in with someone. Perhaps you could have her live near you for a while? and have her stay with you once in a while, then progressively more? That way, its easier for the both of you to adjust and you would still be able to see each other. On the issue about going out at night, yea, truthfully, it freaks me out too. I trust my girlfriend too, but its the other people i don't trust, the people at the clubs, bars or wherever. its especially worrying if your partner loves to go out and party - not that i'm saying your gf does. Talk to her, get issues sorted and show her that you care - its the least u can do. Hope this helps!
Author TDX Posted July 14, 2006 Author Posted July 14, 2006 Thank you Daho. Good luck with yours too. =)
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