Agent M Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Help me out here! I broke up with my b/f June 12th. I was so furious with him....he'd treated me badly and I'd had it! So I told him off. Every day now, I've been battling the sorrow of missing the things that were good, the fun I did have, the company. I've been trying to keep myself busy.....but there isn't a lot going on in this area. Today, I was supposed to go to the beach with a friend, but he bailed so I went alone. It was great except my thoughts got to me, and the place I went is in the same town as my ex. (the ONLY place to go that isn't really far) lives. Tonight I was supposed to go to a movie with another friend, but she was too tired. So, I went to the local bar to find no one around. Now back at home I'm still thinking about the ex and I feel AWFUL, but there is nothing I can do or say to him....it is OVER. Please give me some suggestions as to what to do in these times of distress....I have energy to blow but have spent enough time alone and have nobody to call or be with!!!!!!!!! (I do have other friends but am trying to change some of the people I hang out with, blah blah, blah...) Suggestions, sympathy, whatever, PLEASE!!!!
Touche Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Don't know if this is any help but sometimes it's nice to just be alone. You can read, help others on LS, watch a movie, etc. There's a lot to be said for enjoying one's own company. Try to learn to do that. You don't always have to have other people around.
westernxer Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Help me out here! I recommend a battery operated... Just kidding.
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 What did you do before you met your ex? It's time to spoil yourself. Rent a funny movie, and get some chocolate ice cream. What's the deal - are some of your friends not the best influence? Could be just the time to do something silly. Silly, but not illegal. Or dangerous.
Author Agent M Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 I've been renting the movies and eating the ice cream...it's just the alone time and all the constant reminders (like 50 First Dates is on right now and where is the setting? Hawaii! The same place he's from!) The deal with the friends is they are all pretty unreliable and have a lot of personal issues that are starting to drag me down. Before the ex, I had a really demanding job and never had the energy to have any social life at all! I think the idea to do something really Silly is good....but....what? Suggestions??
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I recommend a battery operated... Just kidding. What do you mean? I love my AIBO. She's just like a real dog, except she doesn't pine while you're out (well, if you switch her off, that is). Very expensive though. Unless you meant a helicopter. But they're not very girly.
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 it's just the alone time and all the constant reminders (like 50 First Dates is on right now and where is the setting? Hawaii! The same place he's from!) If you look hard enough - everything can remind you of the ex. Get a globe and pick your top three destinations. Then make a list of 10 things you would want to do in each of those places. Not very silly. But then I was always dreadfully boring.
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Hi agent, I'm sorry your going through this pain! How long did you date? What did he do that you broke up? Did you guys fight alot? hopfully we can help...
Author Agent M Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 Destinations and things to do sounds good, as long as they're within budget. We had dated since last Sept. I have known him since high school though. He was the perfect b/f for the first 6 mos., then did a Jeckyll/Hyde big time. I tried to hang in there, but he was just really unreliable and disrespectful. According to his cousin he has done this to every past g/f of his. A lot of girls have broken up with him. He is suffering pretty badly inside and I wanted to help him, but he doesn't really want to change deep down. So I had no choice but to leave.
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Destinations and things to do sounds good, as long as they're within budget. No budget - that's the point. Start researching.
Author Agent M Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 Yeah, no budget would add another element of interest. It'd help though, to have some company.
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Yeah, no budget would add another element of interest. It'd help though, to have some company. I knew it!!!! You think my idea is boring. Is there anyone you haven't spoken to for ages?
Diver012 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Destinations and things to do sounds good, as long as they're within budget. We had dated since last Sept. I have known him since high school though. He was the perfect b/f for the first 6 mos., then did a Jeckyll/Hyde big time. I tried to hang in there, but he was just really unreliable and disrespectful. According to his cousin he has done this to every past g/f of his. A lot of girls have broken up with him. He is suffering pretty badly inside and I wanted to help him, but he doesn't really want to change deep down. So I had no choice but to leave. This is just out of my own curiousity, and if you dont want to answer I understand, how did he change? What was he suffering from? You cant help him I know, as teh saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink. But im just curious as to what this Jeckyll and Hyde routine of his was about....
Author Agent M Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 No....the idea isn't boring.....there's a couple of old friends I haven't been in touch with in ages that might work. I'll have to look into it. The JECKYLL/HYDE routine, Diver, (and anyone else that's wondering) went like this. He was the perfect boyfriend for the first 6 mos. Called every day, showed up, followed through, was really affectionate, talked about falling in love, told me he loved me, got me tons of stuff for Xmas and birthday, left me awesome messages on the machine,, wrote me beautiful cards, etc. etc. In fact he was a little overwhelming. I felt crowded a bit but I hadn't had a boyfriend in a while and I like attention anyway. So....he goes to Fla. for 3 weekis to work for a friend. He calls me from there. When he gets back, he tells me he had some time to think and he was just being the good boyfriend before. He tells me he's very selfish and wants to do what he wants to do, pretty much. He can't make me any promises. He cries and says this always happens, but unless he does what he wants he finds himself very unhappy. He says he wants to change, but then never follows through (even though he thinks counseling might work and asks me to find him one). I try to hang in there but he is too unreliable and he even becomes disrespectful. Things just get worse and worse...I get blown off, ect. etc., until I can't take it and I tell him off in a big way and let him know there is to be N/C. That was June 12th. He tried to say hi to me at a party and I said hi but looked away....it pissed him off.
Diver012 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 It sounds to me like you got out of a potentially damaging relationship. The good times that you spoke of seems to have been gone for a while. I think your initial reaction was correct. There are other people, more stable than this one, that can make you happy. Like many of the poor saps, inclluding myself, that just want to find a good woman. You sound like a good woman. You hooked up with someone that is at some sort of crossroads in their life. If he gets it together, hes going to have to do it for himself. It will not work if hes trying to change for anyone else. I am planning on taking a trip to see an old friend in a few months. In the mean time I am getting lost in books, self reflection, I just bought one of those stupid.. Subliminal Self Esteem audio things to listen to.. hey what the hell, if it works who cares? Throw yourself into a hobby or something that interests you. You didnt need this guys before, you dont need him now.
Author Agent M Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 Thanks Diver, you're right. It just drives me crazy that this happened. Now I'm looking at the new potential men with suspicion. I guess that will go away with time. I can't believe he doesn't CARE!!!!!!!!!! Maybe he does. Let me know how the subliminal cd's work. I always wondered about those.
Diver012 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Thanks Diver, you're right. It just drives me crazy that this happened. Now I'm looking at the new potential men with suspicion. I guess that will go away with time. I can't believe he doesn't CARE!!!!!!!!!! Maybe he does. Let me know how the subliminal cd's work. I always wondered about those. I will.. Thanks!!
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