nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Lately my girlfriend has been making me feel less wanted around her .. For the passed week she would always be thinking about her ex and she would break down or get sad if something reminded her of her ex. Lately she hasn't been really talking to me as much as she usually would. She talks about how much she misses her ex and how much she wants him to know that she still cares. It hurts me because knowing that i'm her boyfriend and she still thinks of her ex and talks to me about it. She tells me that she's sorry for mentioning all of the stuff she says and i tell her it's okay.. I don't really know what to do in this situation .. she really seems that she still cares about him and yet tells me she really cares about me. I don't think she needs me as much as she would need him. Is there anything i can do to make things better for the both of us ?
BatteredByLove Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Ask for a break, NC, take a step back and give her breathing space, if you did care about her, you'd want her to be happy, and if she's unhappy being with you and keep on thinking about her ex, let her be by herself and think about who does she want in her life, you or her ex?
burning 4 revenge Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 yeah man, break it off. the same thing happened to me and she ended up having him move in. now he left and she's been contacting me again. i wish i'd taken the perogative to have ended myself way early on. she's not in love with you and you will be hurt. i guarantee it.
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Ask for a break, NC, take a step back and give her breathing space, if you did care about her, you'd want her to be happy, and if she's unhappy being with you and keep on thinking about her ex, let her be by herself and think about who does she want in her life, you or her ex? You do sound like you care an awful lot for her. But what about you?! Like BBL says, she needs some time to decide what she wants. Don't be a doormat. You're getting no respect from her with the way she's treating you.
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 Ask for a break, NC, take a step back and give her breathing space, if you did care about her, you'd want her to be happy, and if she's unhappy being with you and keep on thinking about her ex, let her be by herself and think about who does she want in her life, you or her ex? i've honestly spoke to her about this already. i've talked to her about talking to her ex again .. i know that she would be happy with him .. but it's the fact that she wouldn't be able to have him. She tells me she's still in love with him because he was her first love and she can't forget that. Me and my girlfriend have only been dating for a month now .. but we've also been talking since october. she barely started talking about him ever since she started getting jealous because she found out that her ex was talking to another girl and now they're together. I actually understand the real situation because she told me .. i just remembered... It's alll her.. while in her relationship with her ex i was talking to her as a friend .. she cheated on her ex for me.. then later i guess he or she broke up with whoever. she didnt seem really sad about it .. but while we were talking her ex was still interested in her. she always ingnored his calls and didn't really talk to him as much and i'd usually be there for her. Sooo .. i guess it's the fact that she's jealous about her ex's girlfriend because he doesn't care about her as much as he usually would. she's sad that he isn't obsessed with her anymore. she's sad that he moved on! my girlfriend is just being stupid and jealous. i'd understand because i get jealous at times too. i've spoken to her about this already and she told me that she wants ME and shes happy with ME. i guess she's doing this whole act because she's being jealous over her ex because he has a new girl. she seems really happy with me but i guess i was just over thinking about the whole situation. i'm not 100% sure if i'm right ... anybody?
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I think you're the transition guy TM. Get ready to be used and abused, or find somewhere to hide. Good luck.
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 help me understand please ... hey magical why do you think that?
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Have you told her your concerns? It seems like the NC for the other bf is paying off for him, but its tearing you up.. Go figure! Is she a stable person someone who would be honest? it sounds like she is maybe you need a long talk and some time apart... maybe
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 i'm a noob at this .. what does NC mean? lol.
Violet87 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 NC= No Contact The transitional guy is also known as the rebound. This usually happens when a person breaks up in relationship only just to quickly jump in another (the rebound), without completely healing over the last breakup and not completely over the ex. The person basically uses the rebound to feel the shoes off her old ex. I agree that it sounds like your gf needs time. For you to have told her about your concerns, yet she still goes on about the ex leads me to think she's not completely over him. Since it hasn't been going on for very long you can talk to her again about this and if she still does the same thing, I definitely agree that you two have a break until she decides who she wants and if she's over her ex or not.
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 thanks violet .. best advice yet. well get the fact that she was with her ex when she was talking to me. she left him because i was actually here for her and her ex lived out of country. i spent with her and was there for her more than her ex. i was there for her more physically. i'll continue to talk to my girlfriend and see if things get better or worse. thanks.
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 i was just talking to her and she seemed really worried and sad. i asked her if she was thinking about anything and she said she didn't know .. it was obvious so i asked if she was thinking of him .. she said she doesn't know. it's obvious .. i tell her i hate seeing my own girlfriend being sad over her ex and knowing that she still misses him. she started to cry and told me if i was going to leave her .. i didn't respond.. then she said she said goodnight and said she was just going to go .. then hung up. i need help. =\
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 she called me and i told her i was busy and i told her i'd call her back. i called her.
Author nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 she just called me back right now. i left her a message on her phone 10 minutes ago. she calls me and is asking me if i could talk on the phone and i tell her okay .. its weird because she said she was going to go and hung up on me sadly .. now im on the phone with her..
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