Jadey Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for around 8 months. It has always been pretty shakey. He were just friends at first, but then I told him how I really feel about him, he said he liked me too but he didn't know if being in a LDR was healthy for either one of us. Anyway, time went by and our bond grew deeper. He soon admitted to me that he is in love with me, and wants to be with me. So, we got together. It was hard because it was long distance, and we BOTH have anxiety problems. We both have A LOT of insecurities. But we love eachother and we saw it through. I have a major thing about other women and porn, it's an obsession of mine, I constantly worry he is looking or flirting with other women and I would ask for reassurance a lot. He also had things, but he didn't "put them onto me" as he likes to say it. Now, we would argue quite a lot, and it would often end in him going off and threatening to leave me, I would then beg him to come back to me. But last night was the last straw. He out of the blue, after us getting on very well all day, came out with "do you really think we can work in the long run?" and saying things such as "there comes a time when you can't take anymore" etc, etc. And for once I stuck up for myself and told him that if he really felt that way he was to go, that I have said and done all I could. And I also pointed out where HE had faults, and that it's not fair to blame just me for our arguments. Anyway, in the end it resulted to him giving a short speech about how it won't work out because I blame him. Then, he went. Now, we both post on the same message board (obviously not this one though!!) and today when I logged on I got a PM from him, a long one, saying how he can't see how it can work at the moment, how we both have too many problems, but he'd like to be friends with me and maybe in the future we could try again if we get ourselves sorted out. How he's so dissapointed it couldn't work because he would love it to. I left it a good few hours to think about things, and in the end replied, basicaly saying how I agree, and saying that I gave him everything I could. It ended in me saying I wish him the best of luck in the future, and that I hope he beats his illness and get better again. There were no "OMG PLEASE COME BACK TO ME!!" no "I love you so much", like their have been other times he's said it's over. I also didn't say anything about us being friends or getting back together maybe in the future. And I am now a bit worried about that, maybe I should have aknowledged it?? But anyway, he has been on the message board since, but has not yet replied back. I am now very worried. I was kinda epexting another back. And I'm kind of feeling guilty!! Because I feel maybe it wasn't a nice enough private message, and maybe I should have said something about us being friends and trying again in the future. But it also feels to me like he's amking all the desicions, and I don't want that. I really love him and do not want this to be it. But I don't know what to do? Could you guys give me ANY input on my situation? Did I give you guys enough infomation?? Thank You!
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I think you should decide for yourself whether you want it to work out, or you don't. And right now. But if he's not prepared to work with you, then stop making excuses for him.
Chinook Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Sounds to me like it's over and he's made his decision. I doubt your PM will make that much difference to be honest. In the short term, I wouldn't contact him at all... let him make his own decisions. If he wants to be friends and wants it to work out, then he'll be back. Simple as that.
magichands Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 In the short term, I wouldn't contact him at all... let him make his own decisions. If he wants to be friends and wants it to work out, then he'll be back. Simple as that. True enough.
Author Jadey Posted July 9, 2006 Author Posted July 9, 2006 Yeah, I guess so..but he said he wanted to be friends, and maybe we could ger back together later on. But, in the message I didn't say anything agreeing or disagreeing with those. So maybe now he thinks I wouldn't ever want to? And even if he does contact me about it or whatever, what do I say/do? He's probably now waiting for me to contact him again or something.
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 What were you fighting about? And, when you guys were fighting what was it usually about.... Sorry your in the dumps...
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