MichaelIsTaken90 Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I notice since the time me and my gf been going out up till now which is 9 months my gf has changed some things that i loved about her. She use to write me letters and keep real good conversations on the phone with me and being real attached to me. Now anything comes out of her mouth like saying mean things to me and i cant believe how easy it comes out of her mouth. She use to be the type of person to care about every little thing she would say and how she presented her self to me but now it looks like she doesnt care about that no more. Maybe she still does but the way she says things so easily like calling me a f***ing idiot or something it looks like she doesnt even care. And now for the past like 2 or 3 months she like stopped doing those things that i use to love about her. I asked her why did she change and she said she she doesnt know. She said i shouldnt be taking it seriously and just realize in my head that people change. Well guess what i cant accept that. People are only suppose to change the bad things about themselves not the good things. She said i take this relationship way to seriously. She said being serious is okay but i go out of control. I told her thats the way i am. its cuz i care alot. She said its pushing her away and i need to stop. Well what about her self look at the bad changes she made. And a couple of days ago she told me how she wanted to take a so called "Break". Or break up with me. But then she told me how she is not going to do that. I told her if she did that it would be throwing away the 9 months i been going out with her and ruin everything. Guys idk what to do. Please dont tell me to break up with her. I dont want to do that cuz she loves me and i love her and hopefully i will be with ehr forever. Its just i need some advice on how to handle this and approach in a way me and her are both satisfied.
alphamale Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Please dont tell me to break up with her. ...she'll be breaking up with you fairly soon so its not necessary for you to do it.
westernxer Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 She broke up with you already, hence the "break." Young people do this all the time.
Touche Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 If I were you, I'd tell her that you agree you should have a break since she's not being so nice to you anymore. I have a feeling she'll be nice again. Try it and see.
Author MichaelIsTaken90 Posted July 8, 2006 Author Posted July 8, 2006 how do you know she is going to break up with me soon Come on your not helping your making it worse
Tony T Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 She hasn't changed. She's just the person she really has always been. People are always at their best behavior in the beginning stages of a relationship. You loved her for all the things she wasn't. That's unfortunate because she was deceiving you and you fell in love with a lie. Now that you see her becoming the person she really is, it is necessary for you to move on and find someone who is genuinely kind and not just an actress. This happens all the time. It's a biological thing. There would be a LOT LESS mating if people were their true selves before the mating process ensued.
Outcast Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I'm always so sad to read people telling us 'she says she loves me' or 'he says he loves me' and then go on to list of all the awful things 'she' or 'he' is doing to them. It doesn't matter what a person says. It's what they do that proves their love. A person who loves you doesn't treat you badly. Dump this one and find someone who shows her love through actions.
Author MichaelIsTaken90 Posted July 8, 2006 Author Posted July 8, 2006 Yea but its not really her fault. See i wasnt myself either at the begging of our relationship. I had no expierience with girls and no knowledge of them. So i told lies and acted ways that werent really me and she knows that now. But seriously i think this is my fault that she wanted to take the break. I mean come on it would push you away too if you always had a bf always being over protective and being on your case about messing with other boys dont you think.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Yea but its not really her fault. See i wasnt myself either at the begging of our relationship. I had no expierience with girls and no knowledge of them. So i told lies and acted ways that werent really me and she knows that now. But seriously i think this is my fault that she wanted to take the break. I mean come on it would push you away too if you always had a bf always being over protective and being on your case about messing with other boys dont you think. Michael, people hook up and then people break up. It's all apart of life. Maybe the relationship has just run its course, you both weren't very honest about who you really were, and now its all coming to a head. It's ok, it happens. You are both still very young and you will date many many people before finding "the one". I know its tough, but if you take notes on things (like how lies affect a relationship) when you enter into your next relationship, you will know from the previous one what not to do.
Author MichaelIsTaken90 Posted July 8, 2006 Author Posted July 8, 2006 yea but isnt there a chance for her to be the right one. I mean people do tell me all the time that anything thing can happen as long as you keep your head up and never give up and just try try try. Thats what I'm trying to do with this relationship. She does do more nice things for me than bad things its just sometimes these little problems turn up and end up becoming a big fuss. Cuz chances are if she is the right one I wont ever find a girl like her again. Dont you think i should continue trying. Im not really the type to throw away things like that and give up you know what im saying?
Tim'sAngel Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 yea but isnt there a chance for her to be the right one. I mean people do tell me all the time that anything thing can happen as long as you keep your head up and never give up and just try try try. Thats what I'm trying to do with this relationship. She does do more nice things for me than bad things its just sometimes these little problems turn up and end up becoming a big fuss. Cuz chances are if she is the right one I wont ever find a girl like her again. Dont you think i should continue trying. Im not really the type to throw away things like that and give up you know what im saying? That is a big misconception. It is all about compatibility. There are hundreds if not thousands of people in the world that we are all compatible with. She may or may not be one of them. You have to know when it is worth holding onto and when it is a lost cause. Some peope have that mentality of trying and trying to make something work, only to get dumped years later and find that they have wasted years of their life. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Author MichaelIsTaken90 Posted July 8, 2006 Author Posted July 8, 2006 Oh yeah she made me delete my myspace because i did some wrongs things on there if you know what I mean. And now i want her to delete hers because I dont like her having one. It really bothers me. I dont think she is doing anything behind my back but i just hate when boys look at her pics. I asked her to delete it and she said and yelled at me NOOO. This gets me real mad because she tells me to do it and i do but when i asked her to she told me no
Tim'sAngel Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Guys idk what to do. Please dont tell me to break up with her. I dont want to do that cuz she loves me and i love her and hopefully i will be with ehr forever. Its just i need some advice on how to handle this and approach in a way me and her are both satisfied. Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are compatible with you. I've loved someone before but we couldn't be together for the fact that he wanted children and I can't have anymore. We weren't compatible in that area. Does it mean I didn't love him? No, it just means that love isn't enough sometimes. Do you really want to love someone but go on being unhappy? You can't change her, so don't try. We are who we are.
Author MichaelIsTaken90 Posted July 8, 2006 Author Posted July 8, 2006 yea but with everything I done bad to her and she is still with me i think its time she deserves her second chance. I constantly lied to her and hurt her emotionaly alot, and yet she has given me so many chances and been there by my side. Dont you think everyone deserves a second chance?
Outcast Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 No. Not this one. Really, you'll only end up unhappy.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Ok hunny, first you come on here telling us all the things about your gf you don't like and how she is mistreating you, then when we try to give you some advice and words of wisdom, you come back with "But! And! If!" and try to convince us that you should keep trying. I know it is hard to come to grips with a situation involving a relationship you invested so much time in, but if you can't take advice and try to look at your situation from another point of view, then maybe you shouldn't be on a public forum. We are trying to help you, maybe you shoud listen a little instead of trying to convince us otherwise.
magichands Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Oh yeah she made me delete my myspace because i did some wrongs things on there if you know what I mean. No, I don't know what you mean. But I guess I can imagine. Did you see this as harmless fun, or what?! And now i want her to delete hers because I dont like her having one. It really bothers me. I dont think she is doing anything behind my back but i just hate when boys look at her pics. I asked her to delete it and she said and yelled at me NOOO. This gets me real mad because she tells me to do it and i do but when i asked her to she told me no Real mad? You had better get your jealousy under control. You got rid of yours because you were being dishonest. It's not fair to ask the same of her when she hasn't done anything wrong, is it? But it does sound like she has you by the balls. My advice, for next time with a similar issue, is to explain the problem to her (feelings, whatever), rather than asking for what you see as the solution.
alphamale Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 But it does sound like she has you by the balls. alpha seconds that motion
Tim'sAngel Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 But it does sound like she has you by the balls. Yea I kinda got that same impression, but come on guys, the kid is only 16. He has some room left for error.
alphamale Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 the kid is only 16. He has some room left for error. yeah T'sA...he'll become a woman-hating emotional cripple bad-boy in no time
Tim'sAngel Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 yeah T'sA...he'll become a woman-hating emotional cripple bad-boy in no time Especially if he stays on this site very long.
JadeStar Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I imagine this is one of those posts where we can tell him all day long till we are blue in the face what we think he should do, but he will continue to justify things, such as her behavior or his and it will end up in a vicious cycle. Only for him to continue in this relationship until she permentaly takes a break from him. I don't see him breaking things off with her. To the OP you have gotten some great advice here, and you either take it or you don't. He is young so I guess he will have to learn lifes lessions as he goes along. JMO. Jade
Yamaha Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 ...she'll be breaking up with you fairly soon so its not necessary for you to do it. She's already broken up with you by her telling you she wants space. She is just giving you time to absorb it and by being mean to you she hopes you will see she is not wanting a long term relationship with you. Go ahead and analyze yourself to death but in the end you will realize that we at LS were right.
nayton Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Oh yeah she made me delete my myspace because i did some wrongs things on there if you know what I mean. And now i want her to delete hers because I dont like her having one. It really bothers me. I dont think she is doing anything behind my back but i just hate when boys look at her pics. I asked her to delete it and she said and yelled at me NOOO. This gets me real mad because she tells me to do it and i do but when i asked her to she told me no your being jealous and your pissed because she won't delete her myspace and you think its hella stupid so you CONSTANTLY keep on telling her to delete hers when she nicely asked you to delete yours and you did it right? yeah there was this time my ex girlfriend deleted all the girls on my myspace because she thought i'd be cheating on her or something and i asked about hers and nothing.. stupid ass. well anyway i just think your should get over her and you should get with a girl that's your kind of type.. a girl that really cares as much as you do. this girl isn't into the kind of love that you're into. people can say your whipped or whatever .. some people say you care so much about her .. but the best thing you can do is let it go or have a break because i've gone through something like this myself. goodluck
confused423 Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 Oh yeah she made me delete my myspace because i did some wrongs things on there if you know what I mean. And now i want her to delete hers because I dont like her having one. It really bothers me. I dont think she is doing anything behind my back but i just hate when boys look at her pics. I asked her to delete it and she said and yelled at me NOOO. This gets me real mad because she tells me to do it and i do but when i asked her to she told me no I dont know whatever you did on your old myspace, but if you didnt want to delete it why did you? In a relationship one can not control the other. And if you feel like you must do exactly as she says to keep her around, then your hurting yourself by not breaking up.
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