Why can't this be easy?

[Lor]

Well, he told me last night he doesn't feel for me like he did when we first got together (9 years ago) and doesn't think he'll get that back.

 

I noticed his phone bill was high on Wed. Went to ask why that night and asked to see his cell phone bill. Yeah, I had no right to ask--it's his account. Of course he refused. He said yes, he was still talking to OW, matter of fact he had the phone in his hand when I walked in, and she called while I was there. He told her he'd have to call her back later. Said he started talking to her again as soon as I moved out. So much for taking the time while separated to figure out what he wants. Then he told me he had been talking to her about trying to work it out with me. So glad he can tell HER all about us but can't talk to me. I told him he keeps puting her between us.

 

I lost it again. Cried for 2 days. Looked up her address and went to her house to confront her husband about this but he wasn't home so I left a note. She got it and called me. Said she and H were just friends (oh, okay...) and that she's got enough problems because her marriage is already dead, and she's not getting involved with his life anymore. I'll believe it when I see it. Been there-done that! Heard it too many times now. I give them a month tops before they are back crying on each other's shoulders. I told her to work on her own marriage and leave mine alone. She said she's told him to come back to me, that he's losing a good thing, and she feels sorry for me. Whatever. Just what I want; pity from her. Said that last year my marriage was dead--wish someone had told me. I had to find out the hard way.

 

I got the divorce papers and filled most of them out. That night H comes and says he doesn't want a divorce. I told him to get out. Now last night he's still saying he doesn't know what he wants. He said he's been drinking too much, hasn't eaten in 2 days, can't think straight. He's going thru depression and won't do anything about it. Yeah, with me it was the depression talking again. I've figured out its like being drunk; you know what you're saying, you know what you're doing, you can't stop doing it, and you don't feel sorry for it till the next day.

 

I gotta stick to my guns. I'm gonna wait till I get back with the kids like I'd said then file. If nothing else, there's a 60 day waiting period after filing before its final. I'm NOT getting my hopes up. I'm NOT waiting any longer. I'm NOT revolving my life around his issues anymore.

 

If they are just friends, fine, it really doesn't matter any more.

 

Oh, who am I kidding? He's gotten my hopes up again. And they are going to get crushed. My husband is not in love with me anymore and there is nothing I can do about it. He doesn't want to hurt me, doesn't want to go thru this anymore, yada, yada, yada. She might be in the picture, she might not. But guess what folks? I'm not in the picture anymore either. I have to take myself out for my own sanity.

 

sorry if I'm rambling and contradicting myself--that happens a lot. I'm back on the depression meds but they haven't kicked in totally yet. I want him/I don't want him. I love him/I wish he'd leave me alone. She can have him/No she can't!

 

He doesn't think we can move past everything that's happened, start competely over. I can but 1 person cannot save a marriage alone. Don't get me wrong--I'm not angry right now. I'm resolved....

 

(sigh).....and I'm still a mess.

 

*******************************

This is my life.......you're just playing in it.

[Lor]

........oh, and I saved a blind and deaf dog on my way home from her house. She kept darting out into traffic on the highway, I'm assuming because of the vibration of the tires. Luckily, the next house I stopped at to ask if they knew who she belonged to was her owners. He'd been out frantically looking for her and was beside himself. he'd turned his back for a minute and she was gone.

 

I can save a dog but I can't save my marriage.........

 

Guess there was some higher intervention there for me going to her place.

[a4a]

Lor you are right you cannot force him to do the right thing or to change. He has to do it.

 

You are right his track record sucks.

 

You are right he has treated you with total disregard and complete disrespect.

 

You are right not to jump at the chance to believe his or her BS.

 

And hats off to you, you are very very strong person. You have a great head on your shoulders.

 

Keep posting away for support.

[a4a]

........oh, and I saved a blind and deaf dog on my way home from her house. She kept darting out into traffic on the highway, I'm assuming because of the vibration of the tires. Luckily, the next house I stopped at to ask if they knew who she belonged to was her owners. He'd been out frantically looking for her and was beside himself. he'd turned his back for a minute and she was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

See I knew I liked ya for a reason!!! :)

[Lor]

Thanks for the moral support. I don't know about having a good head on my shoulders--feels like a screw or two is loose most of the time.

[Lor]

See I knew I liked ya for a reason!!! :)

 

:) Thanks!

[Chinook]

........oh, and I saved a blind and deaf dog on my way home from her house. She kept darting out into traffic on the highway, I'm assuming because of the vibration of the tires. Luckily, the next house I stopped at to ask if they knew who she belonged to was her owners. He'd been out frantically looking for her and was beside himself. he'd turned his back for a minute and she was gone.

 

I can save a dog but I can't save my marriage.........

 

Guess there was some higher intervention there for me going to her place.

 

You know, I've kinda kept track what's happening. I also believe that everything happens for a reason.

 

Firstly, that dog there... was sent to you for a reason. The reason...? To remind you that you are a GOOD person. GOOD people deserve to be treated better.

 

Secondly, your husband cheated. It may not have been happening right away but in his heart he did and he wanted to. Emotional cheating is more damaging IMHO than purely physical. This woman has been in your husband's life as a 'friend' for far too long. I'm sorry but I've been in the position of being that woman. Any self-respecting friend would butt out and step away. I have a friend who I love dearly. He and his wife had major problems and he has cheated before now. I grew to really like him emotionally and physically too. It felt like more than friends. It WAS more than friends even though nothing happened. If I wanted to have an affair with him, I could have done so.

 

His wife was HIGHLY suspicious of me. And with BLOODY GOOD REASON too..!!! TRUST YOURSELF AND YOUR INSTINCTS. I walked away. I saw the potential of what was happening. I knew what I felt and I knew it was WRONG. I knew also it was simple infatuation. If this woman butts out of your life... I guarantee you, things will get back on track. Your issue isn't with your husband right now.. it is with HER. SHE is holding the cards as to whether your marriage survives or not. Your husband is indecisive because he doesn't know either way, he wants someone to make the decisions for him and YOU ARE DOING THAT.

 

As for the way he loves you... of course he doesn't love you how he did 9 years ago... you're not the person you were 9 years ago!! I'm not sure how to tell you to proceed but I don't think contacting HER husband is going to help you. I think maybe talking with HER might help - and asking her to step away for a while and give you guys some breathing space might help. As for your husband... he needs a severe reality check on what he's losing here. If he no longer truly loves you (which I don't think is the case otherwise you wouldn't be on the yoyo) then he should make his decision and get on with it.... allowing you to move forwards. I don't know whether filing right now is a good idea... once it's final, it's done with. If you stay together then I think you should both consider marriage therapy to get through this.

[Lor]

Thanks, Chinook. What you described does sound awful familiar. But I have asked her, begged, yelled, cried (etc, etc) for her to butt out and leave my H alone....I think 3 times?? Each time she says okay, fine. Next thing I know, they are right back at it again. That tells me something.

 

Talking to her H wouldn't do any good if they are already on the rocks. She asked what I meant to prove by it. I told her that if they need a push to get them together, I'd give her a shove. and that I meant to destroy her life like she's helped to destroy mine. But why talk to him now? I have come to the conclusion--he apparently doesn't love me enough to try.

 

A4A, you said something about he doesn't respect me........How much respect did I show him by snooping? :( Bad, bad, bad.

 

Oh, and forget counselling--he won't go. I tried it and it wasn't good. this site is my counselling now.

[a4a]

Thanks, Chinook. What you described does sound awful familiar. But I have asked her, begged, yelled, cried (etc, etc) for her to butt out and leave my H alone....I think 3 times?? Each time she says okay, fine. Next thing I know, they are right back at it again. That tells me something.

 

Talking to her H wouldn't do any good if they are already on the rocks. She asked what I meant to prove by it. I told her that if they need a push to get them together, I'd give her a shove. and that I meant to destroy her life like she's helped to destroy mine. But why talk to him now? I have come to the conclusion--he apparently doesn't love me enough to try.

 

A4A, you said something about he doesn't respect me........How much respect did I show him by snooping? :( Bad, bad, bad.

 

Oh, and forget counselling--he won't go. I tried it and it wasn't good. this site is my counselling now.

 

You feel bad for finding the cause of the problems in your marriage?

You certainly should not feel bad for snooping you had just cause!!

 

As for her stating her marriage is on the rocks and telling her husband would not matter........ I think she is bull crapping you!! She obviously lies.... what the heck makes you think she is not lying to you about this?

 

Tell the H..... if she did not care she would have never bothered to intercept your note to him and attempt to head you off to stop you from doing so.

 

I think her H deserves to know. Not for revenge but out of respect.

 

Just friends...... yeah sure...... right.

 

Would you risk your marriage over a just friend??? I know my H would not.

I know I would not.

 

All the responsibility of this marriage and it's problems are being put on you..

You have to make the decisions because you are being forced to, you are the one doing the work......... so wake up and realize that you are dealing with a bunch of selfish people and it is not your fault at all.

 

You probably have had it embedded in your brain that you are not worthy, deserve what is dished out to you, and should just shut up and take your lumps.

I got news sister, it is not true........ so stop letting them brainwash you and use guilt to keep in your place. Guilty for snooping....... hell no you should not feel guilty!!!

 

Your self esteem is probably shot and you are in a serious state of confusion right now..... and with good reason.

 

Why did this happen?...... ask them... they will blame it on you, but it is not true.

 

I would tell the OWs H....... sure as s*** I would.........but not for revenge.

 

Also don't you think that her H deserves to know..... really?

 

Time to make your stance be known.

 

Tell your H this:

 

You will attend MC with me or I will go through with this divorce immediatley.

You will no longer have contact with this woman or I will inform her husband immediatley.

You will put effort into our marriage starting right now.

You will have 48 hours to make your decision. I am prepared to proceed if I must, this is not a threat this is fact. I will hold to it for my own well being.

If you decide to work on our marriage I will give 100% to that effort but I expect and will not settle for less than 100% from you.

 

If it were me I would still tell the OWs H. You would be doing her H a favor by letting him know, if his marriage is so dead you may very well be doing him a great favor and setting him free from it.

[Chinook]

Thanks, Chinook. What you described does sound awful familiar. But I have asked her, begged, yelled, cried (etc, etc) for her to butt out and leave my H alone....I think 3 times?? Each time she says okay, fine. Next thing I know, they are right back at it again. That tells me something.

 

Exactly, if she can't walk away... I would be questioning why that is.

 

Talking to her H wouldn't do any good if they are already on the rocks. She asked what I meant to prove by it. I told her that if they need a push to get them together, I'd give her a shove. and that I meant to destroy her life like she's helped to destroy mine. But why talk to him now?

 

Oh no, I said DON'T talk to her husband

 

I've since revised my opinion on that though. If what you say there is true.. about them being on the rocks, you're right it probably won't achieve anything. But... what if she's bluffing...? The reason I think this is if her marriage was truly on the rocks then they would be separated already and she would have no interest in your husband because she could freely date single men. She is firmly ensconced in her marriage and she wanted a bit of hanky-panky with someone who isn't going to leave his W. However, your H is doing the yoyo and upsetting the balance. Again, if she butts out, it will recover. I'm not saying you should tell her H to wreck HIS marriage but he has a right to know what is going on. If it was me.. I would want to know. My friend and his wife are getting along really well now... she has lost alot of weight, they went to counselling and we both are mightily glad that a holy s***storm of a disaster was averted. Now, his wife emails me more than he does! If this woman was a true friend concerned for her friend's marriage, she would take the necessary action... not hang in there like she is doing.

 

As for him not loving you. He does, he just needs to get his s*** together and get his head straight. If I were you, whilst you guys are actually separating at the moment, cut some contact with him... get yourself a make over and arrange some 'dates' (fake ones) get either your parents, or his or friends to watch the kids and go out of the house. Even if it's just for a drive or it's just to watch a movie (yes, by yourself). When he asks about the kids or about the house... or tries to make arrangements you're suddenly 'busy' and you do NOT need to tell him why. On no occasion do you need to actually 'cheat' on him (which btw I don't think it is cheating if you're separated but anyhow) but his mind will do all the work for him. When he sees how glamorous you are and desirable... he'll work out what the heck it is he's doing and what he's losing.

 

As for therapy... sometimes, even if you do therapy alone... it can have a positive influence on the relationship.

[Becoming]

Oh, Lor, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Your posts to others are so full of good, level-headed advice. And saving a deaf and blind dog from traffic means you are a heroine in my eyes. :love:

 

I agree with a4a about laying down what it is you want him to do if he wants to continue in the marriage. My H had an email fantasy fling, and when I found out (you betcha I snooped--I had a feeling something was up!) I had contacted a lawyer and gone to the hardware store to buy new locks for the door before my H got home from work. I threw him out, let him know in no uncertain terms this behavior would not be tolerated and that I couldn't talk to him without wanting to kill him and that he needed to leave immediately. Over the next few days, I got clear on what it would take for me to want to continue being married to him and let him know the conditions he had to meet in order for his marriage to continue. And I set a time limit.

 

Best thing I ever did in this marriage. We survived. Happily now.

 

Lay down the law and enforce it. If he doesn't meet what you need, he's just not good enough.

[Lor]

No, I've decided not to say anything to her H. Yes, he has a right to know. Yes, I think she's bluffing that her marriage is as bad as she says. But I WILL NOT be responsible for puting her kids thru what my kids have had to go thru. True, it is would be her fault and my H's fault but I'm not that kind of person--unless I get ticked off enough . The paranoid part of me says that they are waiting for me to get the divorce so she can leave her H and move in with mine. And you know, I don't have any control over it if it happens. I know there were feelings between them at one time, and he says he's realized it was only an infatuation. but he's still puting her before me.

 

anyway, I've come to a conclusion.......I'm done beating a dead horse. maybe he does still love me. Maybe he is still only confused. But you know, I don't think he loves me enough anymore. Yeah, I've been on a yo-yo thru this whole thing and its time to cut the string.

 

I, I, I. I feel like a broken record anymore. This is what I've realized:

HE doesn't love me enough anymore.

HE is afraid to try.

HE has put her before our marriage.

HE has depression.

HE is avoiding the whole issue.

HE is the one with the problems now.

HE is the one who will not make any effort.

HE has to look himself in the mirror and know HE didn't make the effort.

and HE will realize one day what HE lost.

 

I, on the other hand, think I did everything I could to save this marriage. Maybe there is something else I could have tried but I don't think so. I can't make him want me in his life, I can't make him love me, and I can't make him try.

 

See, some friends of ours got a divorce, got back together, separated again, and then got remarried and their marriage is pretty strong now. He thinks that is what can happen to us. I don't honestly know. If he came back to me 100% it could work. But as long as he's replaced me with her, that won't happen. And I'm nobody's second choice!! He keeps saying "I moved out"; he forgets that I asked him almost every day to ask me to stay and he wouldn't do it. Now he tries to do a guilt trip all the time, with me moving, the divorce, saying my depression sets him back. Bull. This is not me doing this.

 

I honestly think its over. And I'm never going thru this again. I've cut all contact except when I have to. And he won't miss me unless she's gone. and something tells me she's still there.

[Lor]

Your posts to others are so full of good, level-headed advice.

 

Hindsite is 20/20. What I'd give to know then what I know now.

 

And don't feel sorry for me. I've helped make this happen.

[Becoming]

Yeah, that's the truth!

 

I was at the same place with my marriage, too. I honestly didn't care if we made it work or not. I knew I had done all I could and that the problem was with him, not me. It took him doing something as stupid as an email affair to see it though because I was convinced there must be something wrong with me, not him, up until that point.

 

Once I realized that it wasn't me, there was a freedom and power I had that saw me through. I was sad, extremely sad, hurt, enraged, and all of that, but I was free, too.

 

Mine came back, probably not for me as much as for the respectability of having an intact family. But once I found my power and kept using it for the good, he did come around.

 

But I didn't care whether he did or not at that point because I knew what was good and went with it, and there was power in that that saw me through all the depression and mourning.

 

May you come to know that power, too, but I suspect you already do, given the wisdom I've seen you exhibit with others.

[Lor]

When I had my breakdown I had to completely tear myself apart, examine all aspects of myself, throw out the bad and build up the good. There were a lot of things I didn't like about myself and actually feel good about the way I am now for the first time *ever* I think. The H said there are somethings I've changed that he doesn't like but I don't know what they are. And he didn't seem to want to tell me. Oh well. he doesn't have to like everything I do or am--that's up to me.

[paperdoll]

"noticed his phone bill was high on Wed. Went to ask why that night and asked to see his cell phone bill. Yeah, I had no right to ask--it's his account. Of course he refused. He said yes, he was still talking to OW, matter of fact he had the phone in his hand when I walked in, and she called while I was there. He told her he'd have to call her back later. "

 

Sounds pretty selfish and uncaring to me, maybe after your visit to the OW house , she told your husband to get lost. Now he is giving excuses that are not jiving with previous actions.

[Lor]

Sounds pretty selfish and uncaring to me, maybe after your visit to the OW house , she told your husband to get lost. Now he is giving excuses that are not jiving with previous actions.

 

She said she was going to tell him that she was done with him but I doubt it happened. Can't tell--I'm not there and I can't hack into the account cuz I don't know his password. Besides, I don't like myself very much when I do things like that. I can pry all I want but it won't change what he does.

 

As far as his previous actions, nothing he does is ever the same as the day before. I couldn't tell you how many times he's told me its over, then a few days later he would want to try again, then a few days later its over.....see the pattern? He's been on this roller coaster for 11 months. And he's drug me right along with him. I can't say I'm much better; I've told him its over several times myself but usually its because I've found out about more contact he's had with her.

 

I honestly don't believe its turn physical. It may yet. Who knows. And I can't do anything about it if she moves in with him after the big D. What could I do? Stalk the place? Yeah, right. All I'm doing is prolonging the pain. I'm waiting till the 1st of the month--which is ironic I think since that is the day this first started--and then I'm filing. Nothing is going to change between now and then.

 

Is she full of s***? I believe she's enjoying the attentions of a good looking man who works in the office while she's on the shop floor. I think she's a gold-digger, a liar, and very manipulative. I asked him one time what it was about her and, after hesistating, he said she's okay looking. And nice. Well, he'll have to wake up to okay-looking and nice for the rest of his life. I've heard she's got big ears and bad hair. Not to be catty....

[Lor]

After my visit to her house I think I became a real person to her, not just a name anymore. I invaded her territory and she didn't like that much. There are many reasons why I think she's lying:

She didn't want her H to find out she's been talking to my H even though her marriage is "dead".

She hasn't left him.

She's told me before she'll quit talking to my H, then they are right back at it.

She's threated to kick my *ss when I told her I was going to tell her H.

Rumor has it she's the shop floor flirt; my H is not the first.

 

See, I made my H agree that there would be no others--him and me--around our kids for 3 months after the separation. They didn't need that. I originally said 6 months but agreed to 3. Well, 3 months is up at the end of this month so I'll see what happens. It will hit the fan if he brings her around my MIL.

 

Why do I care? Cuz I still love him. And this all hurts so much. For the past 4 days I've been in some serious depression again--sorry for my other posts that have been so negative. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm doing the right thing for me and my kids. Yeah, he's a coward letting me make all the decisions. This way he doesn't have to be the bad guy. I don't want to be angry or hurt anymore, I only want my life back. And he won't forgive and move on so someone has to. I've usually had to make the first move in our relationship and this time is no different.

 

I keep working on me. I've tried to make myself feel more attractive, started wearing more make-up (I don't wear that much to begin with), wearing more stylish clothing, doing my hair more. I'm the kind of person who takes longer in the shower than getting ready to go. Other than special occasions I've never wore lipstick until this year or painted my toenails. I've bought music I've wanted, worked on my house, picked up something nice for myself every now and then, started wearing earrings again(I'm allergic to most). I had a man about my age give me a "Well, hello there" look and smile yesterday at the store and it was very flattering to see the appreciation in his eyes--FOR ME!! But in the next second I was tearing up because I started thinking about what a mess my life is right now. I kept thinking of that look--not so much the man--that night to make myself feel better.

 

Sorry if I ramble on. This site is a release for me, being able to pour my heart out. I hate bothering my friends with it--they have their own problems.

[Becoming]

ah, sweetie, you deserve more of those "well, hello, there!" looks. And I know they should come from your H.

 

I'm just sorry. I know how bad this hurts. You just go right ahead and let it all out here. We'll listen.

[Lor]

Thanks, Becoming. Sometimes coming here depresses me, sometimes it lifts me up.

 

I know I made another mistake but I emailed him to ask if he was still talking to her. Told him I wouldn't call her H, wouldn't call her, wouldn't fly off the handle, I only want to know. That way I'll have a better understanding.......maybe. A little more insight on her character??

 

See, I'm leaving with the 2 little ones this weekend for WI to meet my parents and then they are taking them home with them for a week--my oldest is already there. I'm coming home Sunday, then leaving the following Wed to drive to their place, then all 4 of us are coming home the weekend after that. What I'm hoping, since he'll be without the kids and without any contact from us for 2 weeks that, if she's not in the picture, he'll try to do some actual thinking.

 

But if she's still there, I can forget that line of hoping. Or he'll put it off. He was supposed to be taking the time we're separated to get things figured out but he's admitted to me that he hasn't been home, has been going to his friends, his parents, anywhere but having to sit and home and deal with it. He said that just last week is the first time he's decided that he needed to really start dealing with it and get something resolved. Hence me getting my hopes up...only to find out he'd been talking to her since I moved out.

 

Nothing is going to get resolved. And its like a physical ache inside my heart to know this.

[ThumbingMyWay]

Sometimes coming here depresses me, sometimes it lifts me up.

 

I know the feeling...

 

 

 

See, I'm leaving with the 2 little ones this weekend for WI to meet my parents

 

scream hello when ya drive through...I am from WI too....

 

 

Nothing is going to get resolved. And its like a physical ache inside my heart to know this.

 

hang in there Lor. Its not easy I know, but you must focus on your well being. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Show to him that you are strong. You cant decide for him....accept that. Get yourself to a place where is the worst came true....you will still be OK.

 

Not to scare you, but its taken me 2 years to get here and if we did split, which would be foolish casue we have come so far since her affair, I would be OK. It would sux, but me, my spirit would be OK.

[Lor]

scream hello when ya drive through...I am from WI too....

 

I do have a loud voice so I'll try. I'm originally from MN so that's where I have to go to pick up the kids in about a week. Its gonna be a lonngggg drive.

 

I know eventually it will get easier; it already has to some extent. I was flattered by the guy last night, and in a way I liked it and in some ways I didn't, if that makes any sense. I'm building my self-esteem up but the one person I want to notice the changes in me and appreciate me again is the one who is least likely to.

 

He's told me he's still physically attracted to me. But early on, when I first tried to seduce him, he also told me that he'd get turned on if another woman did that to him. That's a hard backhand to forget.

[ThumbingMyWay]

I I was flattered by the guy last night, and in a way I liked it and in some ways I didn't, if that makes any sense. I'm building my self-esteem up but the one person I want to notice the changes in me and appreciate me again is the one who is least likely to.

 

He's told me he's still physically attracted to me. But early on, when I first tried to seduce him, he also told me that he'd get turned on if another woman did that to him. That's a hard backhand to forget.

 

OK. I am in the same boat as you (first paragraph). I am trying to rebuild my self esteem and when I get looks from other women...ir REALLY feels good. In fact there is one that I see at my kids swim lessons and she notices me and I her we smile and say hello. There is something there, an attraction and it does feel good to know and feel this, from an esteem building perspective. I would never act on this "chemisty" so to speak., but it sure feels good. PLUS, my wife does notice me more now, which is also good. She even said something about the women at swim lessons checking me out and i could feel a little jealousy on my wifes part.

 

As for your second paragraph.....of course we get turned on when someone pays attention to us in a sexually way. Its the chemicals in our head that say...."Dammmm...look at that...mmmmm". WE ALL LIKE THIS feeling....the diference is....a loyal spouse doesnt act on this chemistry....they feel it, like it, may flirt back a little....and keep it inside...we stay within our bounderies.

[Lor]

of course we get turned on when someone pays attention to us in a sexually way. Its the chemicals in our head that say...."Dammmm...look at that...mmmmm". WE ALL LIKE THIS feeling....the diference is....a loyal spouse doesnt act on this chemistry....they feel it, like it, may flirt back a little....and keep it inside...we stay within our bounderies.

 

I know this. Men are men. But it doesn't make it any easier to hear that your H would be turned on if you rubbed all over them, whether you looked like Paris Hilton or Rosie O'Donnell (no offense to either....)

[Lor]

Well, he emailed me back to say that no, he hasn't been talking to her lately. Do I get my hopes up, of course remaining cautious and ever vigile? I know I need to keep my shoulders back, chin up, so on.......

 

I can't let my over-active imagination draw me down again. I won't get my hopes up. He won't work on it while we're gone. Or he'll start talking to her again. Who knows, maybe he's lying to me again. But what reason does he have to lie since he knows I'm going to file?

 

Keep the course.......