Witchbaby Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I have a problem with my boyfriend. We've been dating for over a year now, and already he feels like he would spend his life with me. We are rather compatible, I suppose, but he does have some things that are troubling. After we were dating for a few months, he suddenly had some huge problem with his friends and decided to not hang out with them at all. This is really hard for me to accept as I am very social. He would rather spend ALL his time with me, and just me. He gets pushy with me when we aren't sexually active enough. I was abused as a child and often find sex to not be the most appealing thing. Yet he always likes to make snarky commentsabout this. He is very parental with me in the fact that he grills me on what I eat, how much I eat, who I spend time with, what we talk about (in detail), how I spend my money, how I handle my job, etc. I'm in college and have been dating him since the summer before my freshman year. I'm very much at a point where I kind of just want to try my own thing. However, he has always been generally sweet with me, and geniunly loves me. I care a great deal for him to, but I'm not sure how much more I can take of his behavior. He recently told me that if we ever broke up he would never speak to me again because there wouldn't be a point to it. This is sadly the biggest reason I fear parting with him. I am just in this too deep to see how messed up my relationship is? Or just a little too naive to how a healthy relationship should work? Any suggestions/ help would be appreciated.
lebowski24 Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I think my relationship was the opposite... I never once grilled her about what she ate, she was VERY antisocial and didn't really have any friends (yet had the nerve to tell me that my friends are not the ones she would have picked) and all the sudden one day flicked the switch from always wanting to have sex to wanting it maybe once every week or two. At the same time though, she would keep talking about how when our leases were up, we should move in together, and that we would get married some day, etc. Despite some of those things that bothered me, though, I still loved (ok, love) her like crazy, even though I knew that some things were not normal and needed to be fixed in one way or another. Fast forward to today, and we are broken up for 2 months, and yet I still can't figure out in my head if it was the right thing. Moral of the story, there are going to be things that are messed up in every relationship. I'd say if you have a healthy relationship, then you should be able to bring these issues up with him and talk about them maturely. That is where my relationship went wrong... I knew something was wrong, but she would never share her feelings with me until finally one day she just ended things. My suggestion would be to try to talk about these issues with him, and if he isn't sensitive to that (I know I would have been), then you should think about whether he even deserves to speak with you in the first place.
rugbyrob1990 Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Big Labowski, great story thats for telling it... If he is this controlling now imagine what it will be like later.. For me, I never know what i've got until is gone, so maybe you should consider asking for a break... That will wake him up...
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