Cherokee21 Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 OK - So basically 4 months ago I was in the eye of the storm of my terrible relationship with my (still) abusive boyfriend. I started a new job, and there was a really friendly guy who started the first day with me. He is 21 and I'm 18. We went to high school together. But only for like 6 months due to him being expelled ? But, about a month after we started, I noticed his running into me a lot and almost chasing me down to holler at me in a very sweet way. I thought it was nice, but I didn't want to mess with it at the time so I kinda shoved him off. I had too much going on. And Hes cute, but his confidence holds most of his attractiveness. But I am very insecure, and I was esp. at the time with everything going on. although most guys don't approach me because I am intimidating... I'm very tall and I won't lie, attractive as well, but I don't see how I could possibly display confidence. Well anyways, one day I took my bf in there with me. And on our way out this guy kinda cuts in front of us, says hi and notices us getting into my bfs little lancer evo (its a fast car) and he hightails it into his little fast car and peals off for some attention. So I kinda got the idea that he wanted to impress me or show up my bf or something.. and it intruiged me. So all in all, this guy got my number. And this sounds awful, but we basically agreed to a "booty call" since we both had so much going on in our lifes at the time.... He just broke up with his "babymama" due to some issues with her parents .... and I was still trying to break things off with my abusive alcoholic mess of a bf. So we started hooking up. And we definitely had some GREAT sexual chemistry. This sounds so trashy, but he seemed very shocked and instantly hooked by it. But he always warned me "DO NOT GET ATTACHED. I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP FROM THIS." in thos bold words. But I didn't get attached, and we kept it all secret (except a few friends at work) and just remained friends. We took a little break. He always chased me, but I had too much going on with my bf. So I did do a little teasing, and I a little playing. And I acted a little not interested, but he knew and I knew it was just driving him crazy. But then, we picked back up....and he tried to act in love. And I played along. Because I totally knew he was playing. But I didn't care because I was too. And the chemistry was still there.... but we could act cool around other people, and overall I liked it, it was great. So after a little time we split ways ... probably about a month. We just saw each other at work every now and then. I probably lost about 15 pounds, and I was tanning, and wearing cuter clothes in relation to (what I was a fool to think was) my dissapearing status with my boyfriend. But after that split, we suddenly both had soo much going on ... with family, relationships, school and just stress and drama..... and it all built up for me. And I stressed out, got depressed, kind of freaked out a little bit. And he actually kind of did the same. He started sleeping a lot, and drinking a lot. and just wanting me to come over and sleep with him (just in his bed, not sex). And I would cook for him, and clean for him and his roomate. But we still kept our distance. And had our own lives. But ... it was like we had our little seperate world for a little while, that NO ONE knew about ... like a little fantasy that we both kinda knew we couldn't let be real but we both wanted it really. Or atleast I did. But I always hid my feelings. Soo one nite I heard about how he hooked up with a girl this night he was ignoring my calls (I really only came over at night) when he had a party... who his friends say "had nothing on me" and I could tell he felt really bad the day I found out and confronted him, because it was a day where I had a terrible fight with my boyfriend ... and I was drunk. And I just remember him looking me in the eyes with tears in his eyes .... and he just said that "You really are such a beautiful girl. You deserve a lot better than I have right now." And I just cried and freaked out. And told him I loved him to death but I was hurt because he could never be mine ... and yadayadayada .... and the rest I don't remember at all! I just remember him holding me. But after that night ... He totally distanced himself from me. And he became an a**h*** somewhat. I had to replace his $300 phone with no insurance because I spilled vokda all over it that night. And him and his friends said I was so cool for doing that for him, like at full price. And his friends were asking me if we were together. But I didn't know ... because his calls minumized, and we sweet but short. And It seemed like I never got to see him anymore ... And then I really knew something was up when his friends started ignoring me at work ... until just recently, after a good month and a half, I found out hes had a new girl, a new fling. But from what my friends who know him say, she is not even 1/3 as good looking and I guess he treats her really bad and kicks her out sometimes as he tells her he doesn't want a relationship ... like hes fed up or something ... And I text him or call him still. I just tell him I miss him and I want to have another night with him ... basically just implying sex. Every so often I get a reply saying he still loves me or something. Not so much anymore. Just a sweet reply.... His friends and a few of my friends say that hes crazy !! From what they tell me, I became a lot more attractive that he thought, and he is lucky to have a girl like me just to have sex with. Since apparantely my friends have never seen him with a girl nearly to my standards. (that sounds conceided but they reassure me...) But now I'm just thinking about it , and I have a lot of questions running through my head .... I want to know if he is avoiding me now ..... .....just to hold me by a string because now I want him more> .... because he is a player and he just wanted to get some guys girlfriend all attached and then leave her (yeah, that wouldn't be nice.)? ..... or maybe because he is truly attached, and I scared him off since he doesn't wanted a relationship, or he is saving me for if he settles down and does want one since he still keeps contact? ....or i don't know? What else could it be?? I would appreciate your reply !! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Outcast Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 What an unhealthy mess! Forget him, ease up on the drinking, and try to find a man who doesn't get expelled from school, treat women badly, and is otherwise a jerk.
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