TheSilentType Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Hello all. First time poster here. In response to my own question, I would have to say I am a "bridge-burner". Its been more than 2 years since I have had any communication with a girl that I once liked. I had been friends with her for 6 months (she was the one who initiated contact with me), and had deep down harbored feelings for her. However, she didn't feel the same way; I sent her a note on Valentine's, and she did not really respond back. Soon after that, I decided to stop all communication with her or to even acknowledge her presence. To my surprise, I get an anonymous letter on my desk apologizing for not acknowledging the note that I gave her; but it was only an apology and did not say anything about whether she felt the same way about me. But at that point, I decided it was too late (by the way, I leaving out a lot to keep this short). I deleted her number from my phone, and I made sure I never spoke to her or e-mailed her. I still would see her around school (hard to avoid her since the class size is about 250), but I never spoke to her. Nor did I bother her by harrassing her or bad-mouthing her or anything like that. I simply just dropped her from my life. Trust me, all this was very painful. But my pride is stronger than any grief I had, and as pretty as she was I decided to completely erase her from my life to the extent that I could. I know this is a very immature way to deal with a situation (btw, I am 24). I realize this is a fault of mine. I do it with both people I like and people who I had once considered "friends." I think the girl would have liked to remain friends (something just tells me this), but for me it was an all or nothing deal. So, now that you have heard my story, are any of you as bad as me? Do you burn bridges like I do, to the point that no matter how much it hurts you won't go back?
MarnieGirl Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 i think burning a bridge is only a bad thing if you might need or want or have to be able to have contact with that person again. otherwise, it's how life goes. i don't make it a point to keep people in my life who only half-heartedly give a shyt about me, and neither should you.
bluetuesday Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 I know this is a very immature way to deal with a situation (btw, I am 24). I realize this is a fault of mine. yeah, you lost me at this bit. how is moving on with your life and stopping bothering someone who doesn't want to be bothered, a fault or an immature thing to do? IMO it's holding onto the illusion that you can be friends that's nuts. but you're talking to a major bridge burner. once i decide to let go, they're dust.
Chinook Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 once i decide to let go, they're dust. Yup. Same here. Walk on and don't look back. Friends, relationships everything. Life is way too short as it is to not look at the path ahead of you.
Diver012 Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 If I show interest in someone, and they cant return the feelings then in my world, its cool. Not everyone you like is going to like you back. I dont recall ever burning a bridge. Now If I were in a relationship and someone really disrespected me and hurt my feelings, I get the gasoline out and Burn baby Burn! I dont look back. I take what I needed to learn a lesson about myself and life, and move forward. Yeah its hard to do that sometimes but the pain they caused keeps me far far away. I usually miss what could have been with that person more than I miss what was. I do know theres someone else out there, and ill find it.
Blackfrost Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Same here. Walk on and don't look back. Friends, relationships everything. Life is way too short as it is to not look at the path ahead of you. Now if more people heeded this advice this board would half as full of emotionally distraught people I hear ya with this, I treat things the same way. Once it's done in my mind, it's done (relationships, people, jobs etc).
justpassingthrough Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Now If I were in a relationship and someone really disrespected me and hurt my feelings, I get the gasoline out and Burn baby Burn! I dont look back. I take what I needed to learn a lesson about myself and life, and move forward. Exact-a-mundo! I just ended a long term relationship because 1.) He disrespected me and our relationship and 2.) He hurt my feelings. I fired him on the spot and have no interest in looking back. I don't care how many times he calls my friends and sobs (lawdy, what does he think that will that accomplish?) and tries to get them to talk to me (and they do, about what a disrespectful pig he is/was), he's history. It's not about burning a bridge; he has nothing to offer that I need or want that would make me return because I'm not interested in more of the same. After all, aren't our ex-partners ex's for a reason?
riobikini Posted July 8, 2006 Posted July 8, 2006 Am I a Bridge-burner? Definately. But in my defense (Smile) -it's more like they were already on fire. -Rio
jerbear Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Yes, I have burned bridges and even prevented the building of a bridge as time goes on. An old love interests called a few weeks ago and I blew her off as I did not make it a priority to save the number. Earlier this year she did the same thing, I still blew her off. Even deleted her emails if it was not an important subject. The latest one, she made contact but did not leave a message. I deleted her from my cell, email address books, and even NAV system.
Yamaha Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I am a major bridge- burner. It is not immature to keep someone out of your life when they have made it clear they don't have the same interest as you. I don't know about not even saying "hi". I don't think I could be that rude unless they deserved it.
alphamale Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 in my professional life I don't usually burn bridges. In my romantic life I always burn the bridge otherwise she may be able to cross the river and get to my side.
johan Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I don't burn any bridges ever. I hang on like a fiend to even the most trivial relationships. I still keep in touch with the coffee-shop girls from as long as 10 years ago, and I send them birthday cards. I've shown up at several of their weddings. Serious relationships? I actively pursue deep friendships with every ex I've ever had, and some of my friends' exes as well. And I keep in touch with the cops they call. Sometimes the cops even check in on me. I got my dead cat stuffed and I keep it just inside the front door so it can keep greeting all my visitors. Work relationships? You know the guy they put in the basement in Office Space? That's me. Whatever it takes, just so I don't have to move on. Bridges should be maintained with the greatest care. NEVER burnt.
chocolate_boy Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I don't burn any bridges ever. I hang on like a fiend to even the most trivial relationships. I still keep in touch with the coffee-shop girls from as long as 10 years ago, and I send them birthday cards. I've shown up at several of their weddings. Serious relationships? I actively pursue deep friendships with every ex I've ever had, and some of my friends' exes as well. And I keep in touch with the cops they call. Sometimes the cops even check in on me. I got my dead cat stuffed and I keep it just inside the front door so it can keep greeting all my visitors. Work relationships? You know the guy they put in the basement in Office Space? That's me. Whatever it takes, just so I don't have to move on. Bridges should be maintained with the greatest care. NEVER burnt. Urgh, sounds like a living nightmare
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 Well I deleted my email, blocked his number. But you must have alot of strength to do that. I guess Nc is not a stuggle for you is it? It's the way to go good trait to have lol
GW7147 Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 In some of my past relationships, I blew-up the damn bridge, forget about burning. In my most recent relationship, I felt as if I had been lied to and deceived. My ex said she needed to work on herself and I later found she started dating somebody a month after she broke up with me and I heard she's getting married (she's an insecure head case like that, she was going to marry me after a month and she was going to marry the the guy she dated before me after 2 months as well). I've been tempted to wire up the explosives to that bridge too but, I've sat back and didn't act on it. Maybe I've grown a bit? or just feel it's not worth contacting her by email to rub her face in the dirt. I feel that maybe, she's not worth my time and aggravation. I'll have to think about it....
morphius Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 I think we all are at some point, I guess the only difference is how far along the bridge you are when the pyromaniac in you comes out!
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