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Posted

Hi I recently broke it off with my BF. He keeps calling and wanting to know what he did wrong. In the past several months, he has been going out with his boyz every day. We live together, (he still needs to come and get his things) and he does not get home until about 11 pm to 12 am or even later.

 

On the 4th was our aniversary and I felt like he completely ditched me for his friends. However, I also broke up with him on the 4th because of this. He is calling wondering why and I explained all of my feelings, even though it was like the 20th time trying to explain I need some time too. I hurt and now am wondering if I did the right thing? Any input?

Posted

Calmly sit down with him for a face to face meeting (maybe in public if you don't want too much drama) and carefully explain why you no longer want to be in a relationship with him. I bet he'll listen. Listen to what he has to say and then decide to move on or not. It sounds like you might be doing the right thing. Self respect is rarer than you think.

Posted

Um, if you already explained and he didn't get it... then what good is more explaining going to do..? Hasn't he just successfully drawn you back in...? So now you're wondering if you did the right thing...? Yet when you broke it off he was treating you badly and disrespectfully. I can understand you wondering if you made a mistake (if he made a mistake too). But this to me looks like it could be the start of the on/off cycle. If in your guts you know it isn't then maybe meet him and explain again. If it COULD be the on/off cycle then I think you need to walk away.

Posted

i could never undertand all the why's either.

 

think of it this way: *you've probably already asked and gotten an answer. if you didn't like the answer, too bad. if you didn't get answer, you probably don't want to hear it anyway.

 

and either way, the result is the same...someone doesn't want to be with you anymore and wants to move on. they expect you to do the same.

 

sounds harsh, but there's so much crap that comes along with ending relationships. it's tiresome. and most of the time, it's all under pretense. "i wanna know why! i need cloooosure" is usually just a pathetic way to keep contact. there is no closure until the person just accepts in on their own.

 

*you, as in 'you in general'

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