figgurinoutlife Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 If start being an ***hole to your ex, and start completely standing up for yourself after being a comlpete doormat for a long time, and just stop taking her crap, and fighting back, what goes through the ex's mind. Do you think they hate you more, respect you more, think of you more or less? *I have been doing NC with my ex after being treated like crap, and as her back-up boyfriend for almost 2 years! I always wanted her back and she would come running to me if she got in a fight w/her boyfriend, and I would always let her in, then they would make up and she would run back to him. It was just a messed up cycle. Then on top of that she would say she was still in love w/me, missed me, say she wanted to get back together, then start flirting w/someone new! So I was left waiting and waiting...Until I started being a jerk and doing NC, and when she wanted an explanation I wrote her a nasty email, then when she slammed me on her myspace I wrote an even nastier comment (which she erased). I'm sure I'm being an ***hole to her! But I'm moving on! On top of all that I am talking to one of her best friends (because we are friends) and she HATES that and is very upset about that! So what are your comments to the above question? I would like some honest answers to this direct question. Thanks.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 i think if you have to be an ass to the person...... then they are not even worth worring about anyways. NC is the way to go.
a4a Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 i think if you have to be an ass to the person...... then they are not even worth worring about anyways. NC is the way to go. I agree 110%. What is the point of even caring after you have been played for a chump for 2 years??? (Bonita you forgot to recommend that they redecorate the ex's home before leaving I still giggle about you doing that)
magichands Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Good point, lRB. Do you think they hate you more, respect you more, think of you more or less? Do you care? Obviously you do.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 I agree 110%. What is the point of even caring after you have been played for a chump for 2 years??? (Bonita you forgot to recommend that they redecorate the ex's home before leaving I still giggle about you doing that) it was soo great! so outta character for me too!
magichands Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 (Bonita you forgot to recommend that they redecorate the ex's home before leaving I still giggle about you doing that) You evil bitches. But it is nice for the ex to know that they got under your skin.
crazy_grl Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Ditto on all that. Don't worry about what she thinks. Worry about what's best for you. Stand up for yourself, but don't resort to nastiness.
Author figgurinoutlife Posted July 7, 2006 Author Posted July 7, 2006 I reallty don't care I am just interested in psycology and am interested in how she would feel and what she would think. I am moving on.
a4a Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 She will feel like she has lost control of you. She will get hostile with you, then get nice and try to beg, then get hostile............desparate. Then she will probably run her mouth to every person she knows stating how terrible you are.......then she will cling to her current bf even tighter for a short while and want to rub that in your face. She wants you to stay under her control. She is going to be pissed pissed pissed pissed. You should expect to hear from her even if you go NC.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 I reallty don't care I am just interested in psycology and am interested in how she would feel and what she would think. I am moving on. well, since i do not know her.... i could not say how she will deal. but i would think it would dawn on her at some point, or she will just get pissed cause you are being an ass....then she will cut you off, but she will believe SHE was the Dumper not you.....she sounds very wrapped up in herself, and i doubt she would realize you were pushing her.
magichands Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 I reallty don't care I am just interested in psycology and am interested in how she would feel and what she would think. I am moving on. Well, then the first thing to learn is how to spell it. I don't get the feeling that you are "moving" anywhere.
a4a Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 You evil bitches. But it is nice for the ex to know that they got under your skin. It is nicer to think that they have to buy and apply several gallons of kilz to their walls :lmao: Is there a devil or evil smilies thing...... I really need one!!!
crazy_grl Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 None of us can know what she thinks about it. Every person is different. If you're referring to being a jerk and saying nasty things to her, not just sticking up for yourself: A rational person would think, "What an a**h***. I'm glad I broke up with him." They would be relieved to be away from the jerk and they'll move on An immature and insecure person would get angry, try to get back at you, and do pretty much everything a4a said, especially about staying in control. Part of that control may include trying to get you back. Different people will have different reactions from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Author figgurinoutlife Posted July 7, 2006 Author Posted July 7, 2006 psychology. Yeah sorry. I really do know how to spell. Lol. Well I definitely see some truth in the posts. She is already being very nasty with that blog on her myspace. She basically titled it "***hole." She is mad because of the email and that I'm talking to her friend, which I may just quit cause I don't really want to hear anymore about her. This is very interesting so far, and I would like to hear more!
jmars Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Well, I stood up for myself and my kids earlier today. My ex (a she, incidently) has been seeing alot of a drunken loser that she has sworn she is just friends with. She has dragged my step-daughter out on one occassion late in the evening to go over to his house (on the bus) and brought her home after dark (on the bus). And she has had him over at her place on a number of occassions when the kids were bathing and getting ready for bed. I talked to my ex (of 2 months) yesterday about it, and she again swore he was just a friend and wouldn't do anyhting to endanger the kids. Today however, when my step-daughter arrived back here, she said that the came over again last night, again at her bedtime, and drunk. So, I talked to my ex again about it today in not so pleasant terms, and said that if she wanted to go out to the bar tomorrow night, she would have to make other arrangements, as I can't continue worrying myself sick about the little girl and being lied to and strung along with *talk* of possible reconciliation. My ex hung up on me. Then, a few minutes, later she called back (I let the answering machnie take it) saying that we would never reconcile, live together again, and she told me to "flip off"...though "flip" wasn't exactly the term she used. We've had some trouble like this before, when we were still together, and whenever the issue was raised, that is what she would do....fly into a rage, throw a tantrum, and spew all kind of sheer venom. Can't say that I know how/what she is thinking. The funny thing is however, after the above, I felt a tremendous sense of relief. I thought I'd feel miserable. Go figure.
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