Guest Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Well I guess I will let you in on what is going on in my life right now in hopes of getting some helpful advice. I am currently in the US Navy serving overseas. I starting dating my ex-girlfriend in High School and we lasted for quite a while. 2 years. After a year of dating, I left with the Navy. We made it through me going through boot camp and my technical training and things were amazing. Our relationship was only growing stronger everyway. We were in what I still believe was true love. Well, this past Christmas, she was going to fly out here to visit for the holidays. She had everything booked and ready to go but then at the last minute, she broke up with me telling me how the distance was too hard for her. She says its easier for us to not be together right now and we can re-unite again when I finish my deployment and come back to the states in a 2 years. Well, its been 7 months now and although things are easier than they were back in December, I still have a hard time some night. I can't help but think about her and talk about her and honesetly, still love her. Everything was so perfect and we never broke up on bad terms. We treated each other like we were the only ones for each other. When we first broke up, I couldn't bring myself to speak to her for about 3 months. She would email me maybe once a month to see how I was doing but I just couldn't respond. Finally, about 3 months later, I broke down and wrote her. We talked on the phone a little while later and now, to this day, we simply write each other from time to time; maybe once every few weeks. We still finish the emails with "Love" and things I guess are ok. My thing now is that she has a new boyfriend. He is a Marine (which really makes it hard being that I am in the Navy), he is covered in tatoo (I don't have one tatoo and I thought she didn't like them either), he smokes (I dont smoke and I know she hates it) and I guess he just seems like the complete opposite. Her mother and I talk pretty frequently and she lets my ex know about everything going on in my life. I really dont want to play games. I dont want to be just friends with her. My feelings for her are still very strong which shows me how real they really are. I dont know how she feels because I can't bring myself to ask. But obviously if she has a new boyfriend, shes over me...right? I know that if we saw each other face to face, we would both realize how stupid we are for not being with each other. I will not chase after her. If she doesn't come to me, then I guess I am too stuborn to go to her. Has anybody every been through or heard of a similar experience? How did it turn out? I look forward to reading your responses.
wintercs Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 First and foremost, thank you for your noble service to our Nation. Second, and in response to the substance of your post, I don't think that just because she has a new boyfriend means that she's over you. I think that she probably misses you a lot and feels like she needs to be with this guy right now in order for her to soothe that pain. A little backwards, I know, but don't forget that women are strange creatures. I mean think about it, do you really think that she's really into a guy who smokes and has tattoos all over the place when you say that's not her type (assuming that you're correct)? I think, as an outsider, that she's probably just using this guy as a crutch to get through this tough time without you since you can't be there. I would try not contacting her, having her initiate contact, and even not contacting her back. Maybe when you come back to the States for a breif stay you can meet up with her, but as for now, do your best to live your own life and let her liver her own. I know it probably sucks big time as I am going through a similar situation (not quite, but sort of) and know that there's nothing you can do right now to feel good about the situation. Best wishes - I hope the two of you will get back together.
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