Bazeballfreak011 Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 I met this girl at work about 2-3 weeks ago. She's really pretty and nice, and just an all-around fun person to be around. After the first few days of knowing each other, we hung out. We sat around, watched a movie and some tv. Wound up hangin out till 2AM. I thought I met the girl of my dreams when she was flipping through the channels and stopped on sportscenter on her own will lol. We actually wound up kissing a few times that night, and even got a goodbye one when I left her house. Being I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship that ended badly about a week before I met her, I didn't wanna go ahead and rush into anything, but it was nice to have someone to kiss and hold. She actually confronted me about where I saw things with us, and came out and told me she didnt really want the total commitment of being boyfriend/girlfriend. I then suggested just seeing each other. Like being able to kiss and hug and cuddle and what not, without the title of boyfriend/girlfriend. Like nothing too serious. Take it one day at a time, ya know? She seemed very for the idea. Of course, me being the hopeless romantic that I am, can't just play hard to get and ignore her and wait for her to call and stuff. I've asked her to hang out several times since then. Sometimes its like she avoids the hangin out question all together. I guess her family is down from Pennsylvania and shes been spending a lot of time with them, on top of working and her playing softball 2 or 3 days a week. It's not like its just me doing the calling and talking. She'll text me randomly asking what I'm doing, or asking me if I've finally woken up in the morning lol. I dont IM her when were online, I always wait for her to. But I do admit, its mostly me with calling. She does sometimes, buts its like 90% me. Then tonight I asked her friend if she had said nething since we hung out. Her friend said that I was cool to hang out iwth but she didnt really want a relationship. Does that mean she really doesnt want anything or that she still wants the seeing each other thing and she didnt really go into detail with her friend or something? I know I shouldn't go thru a friend of hers and I should go straight to her with questions like that, but I just felt weird asking her a lot of questions, like pressuring her almost. Before we even talked, she told that same friend that I was a prospect and that I seemed liek teh kinda person that could really grow on her. Sorry for the life story, but i just wanted to be able to get the whole story out so I can maybe get some good advice. So any and all advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks. Anything else you may want to know about this just repost the question and Ill answer it. Maybe give you a better idea about something. Idk. Thanks again for the help, I really appreciate it a lot.
Driver Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Whoa...whoa...whoa...you need to slow down...if you really just got out of a two year relationship, you should be waiting months and months and months before you even think about dating. When my boyfriend and I broke up for a while, I did just what you are doing. I met someone cool, and then I started to worry about what they were thinking, and I started to analyze their feelings and their comments until I went crazy. I was just very needy, and it sounds that you may be right now. And that is okay, because it's completely normal. You went through something tough. I was needy with the first guy I dated after my ex and it completely turned him off. At first he was genuinely interested in me, and then he just completely turned off. Like a switch. I think you may be on the rebound, and I am sure that this girl is smart enough to see it. Like I said, when I was fresh out of my break up, I was super needy. Maybe she was interested in you originally and you just got too needy. She may have felt a little pressure which put her off and made her a little less interested. One line put me off a bit. You said her friend said you were cool to hang out with but she didn't really want a relationship. If she said something like that, then I can assume she may think you are pressuring her a bit too much for a relationship. I think that if she is truly interested in you, SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW. You need to sit back and chill. Allow yourself to heal from your break up, and let this girl come to you. Let her initiate hanging out while at the same time making sure she knows you are still interested.
MrPot Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Whoa whoa whoa. Driver is absolutely right. First of all, there's NO WAY you should be doing 90% of the calling. If you don't want to scare this girl off, you need to let her chase you. This means stop calling her just to talk. Call her only to set up another date to hang out, and don't do it the day right after you just saw her. If she doesn't answer, don't leave a message. Call the next day and try again. Leaving a message always sounds needy unless it's to leave specific and urgent information. If she calls you just to talk, do it, but don't talk for hours. And never, ever, let her sense that you want a relationship with her. Better yet, make her think the opposite. Trust me. Follow my advice and this girl will be in love with you soon.
Author Bazeballfreak011 Posted July 7, 2006 Author Posted July 7, 2006 Well she's definitely not a rebound for me. I genuinely like her. I'm a nice guy and even my ex said it to me when we broke up. She broke up with me cuz she wanted space and asked me not to date anyone because she didn't plan on, she just really wanted space. Shes like I asked you not to because you would never use a girl to make me jealous. You would only date someone because you truly care and feel for them. But yea, a week after that, my ex started dating someone else. I actually talked to her last night and she seemed 10xs more affected by her and this guy going thru a rough time after 1-2 weeks, than she did when she broke up with me after over two years. That really got under my skin. I really like this new girl. Like yeah, I haven't known her that long, but idk, shes really starting to grow on me. I guess I am kinda needed right now, but after seeing my ex starting to date someone else it really dawned on me to just let go and stop caring. Look ahead moreso that waste time and look back. I've pretty much complete cut ties with my ex so I feel no reason to sit and cry and mope about her anymore. My life's not waiting on me to keep going, so why do I have to waste time doing it. I'm young and I have so much to offer another girl that will appreciate a good guy that would never hurt her and would give her the world if he could. And then, still find some more to offer. Like, I'm not trying to brag, but I've always been that kinda guy. Guess it's why I get screwed in relationships.
ashnicole Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Take some time for YOU. Figure out what YOU want out of life... don't get a girl involved in the mix right now. Do you think maybe you want to date her so bad, because your ex is dating someone, and you just want to show her up? That almost sounds like what's going on, to an extent.
Author Bazeballfreak011 Posted July 7, 2006 Author Posted July 7, 2006 No, i really genuine like this girl. I actually kinda started liking her before my ex had another guy. Like I met her a few days before that, we actually hung out around the same time the other two started dating. She's everything I've wanted in a girl.
tanbark813 Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 She's not playing head games. She told you right off the bat that she didn't want a relationship. Her friend confirmed that. Have fun with her but don't get attached. If you can't handle that (and it sounds like you can't) then you should probably move on because you'll just end up getting hurt. Chances are she likes you enough to hang out and make out a bit but not enough to get together with you.
JCD Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 A girl that is into you would be interested just as much as you are into her. You probably have a one sided relationship going and that's no fun. You would be always hoping she would change her mind and start liking you more and it won't happen and that will hurt you. So get out early and look for girl that is more interested in you.
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