Guest Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 History Met my guy about 1.5 years ago, he was separated, in his own apartment I was separated in my own home. DYNAMITE, SPARKS, and all the good stuff that happens when you connect. Fast forward to now I am divorced, he is not. I dont really consider him mine anymore as he has now started seeing his wife (he refers to her as "ex wife") Tells me that things are different now, he is not in love with her, he does not feel the sexual attraction to her, however he is so into family, I am sure he feels obligated, does not want to hurt her blah blah blah. (I am a little bitter) Anyway, I fell hard, my heart has too, its just broken into tiny bits now. So I have to do what I dont want to do. Of course, the right thing to do is to not see him. Told him this over the phone, his response "we mean too much to each other to do this over the phone" "I don't want to lose you, I definately dont want to lose our friendship" I have to tell him when I see him what I told him over the phone, that means I have to get my streangth up again when it took me months to just say it to him over the phone! I feel soooooo weak!!! I really hate it because generally I am a strong person. Work on problems, talk it through ect ect ect My personality has always been not to let go easy, (unhappy marriage for 13 years) But if I have learned anything, I have learned how to let go, it may take me longer than some, but it wont take me 13 years! I have read this forum for quite some time now. I find your stories heartbreaking, touching, and of course inspirational Please wish me luck........I have to break up, I know, It is so hard to let go of someone you have grown to love, no matter who it is or what circumstance.
bunset Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 History Met my guy about 1.5 years ago, he was separated, in his own apartment I was separated in my own home. DYNAMITE, SPARKS, and all the good stuff that happens when you connect. Fast forward to now I am divorced, he is not. I dont really consider him mine anymore as he has now started seeing his wife (he refers to her as "ex wife") Tells me that things are different now, he is not in love with her, he does not feel the sexual attraction to her, however he is so into family, I am sure he feels obligated, does not want to hurt her blah blah blah. (I am a little bitter) Anyway, I fell hard, my heart has too, its just broken into tiny bits now. So I have to do what I dont want to do. Of course, the right thing to do is to not see him. Told him this over the phone, his response "we mean too much to each other to do this over the phone" "I don't want to lose you, I definately dont want to lose our friendship" I have to tell him when I see him what I told him over the phone, that means I have to get my streangth up again when it took me months to just say it to him over the phone! I feel soooooo weak!!! I really hate it because generally I am a strong person. Work on problems, talk it through ect ect ect My personality has always been not to let go easy, (unhappy marriage for 13 years) But if I have learned anything, I have learned how to let go, it may take me longer than some, but it wont take me 13 years! I have read this forum for quite some time now. I find your stories heartbreaking, touching, and of course inspirational Please wish me luck........I have to break up, I know, It is so hard to let go of someone you have grown to love, no matter who it is or what circumstance. Yes, it is hard.. But it sounds like you CAN do what you need to do (because you already have done it at least once). Keep posting and telling us your story. It gives us strength to see others doing what we need to to do too. I'm preparing for a D(ivorce) after 16 years of marriage, and child, all while dealing with the end of a very short A(ffair) w/ a MM. peace to you.
Sami_D Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Guest... you are doing absolutely the right thing. One thing I would say to you is, if you feel it would be easier for you to do it over the phone or in a letter, then do it that way. You are not obligated to him to turn up and do it face-to-face, especially if you feel you may weaken in resolve. He is not being very fair to you to ask you to go through with that The very best of luck to you... I'll be thinking of you.
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