Tsiehta Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I feel like I NEED to break NC just to tell her I miss her! I still think about ehr ALL the time. And i know if I did contact her, I'll get the same emotionless responses from before. But why do I have this need to let her know?
Numbheart Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 You feel it because your human.....most hardcore LS'ers on here will tell you to stay NC, however, I would say to you, if you REALLY feel the need to do it, then do it if your prepared for the worst outcome....NC is a tool to help you for yourself if your not prepared to hear the worst, it should not be treated as a means to obtain your partner back. I felt the same as you, I got in touch, for my own closure, see this understand it, and then follow the thread through, see my surprise to the reaction...I would not say this is typical, however, it is an alternative possibility. Whatever you do, stay strong.
BBetsy Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 Numbheart, I am so right there with you, only probably I'm worse. I cannot seem to stop myself from contacting the EX - it's been five months, and he's totally not responding, totally doesn't care about me at all apparently. I have those same feelings, like we were meant to be and I had invested everything in this relationship -- something I almost never do! I've been single (divorced) for 13 years, and he was the man I thought I was going to marry (he got me a ring, so I wasn't making it up). Then he just fell out of love with me, I guess. I used to see him driving by my house all the time, and thought he was "driving by my house" - but then I found out the new woman in his life lives up the street from me!! DOH! He was just going to her house! I email him at least once a week, like I have this weird need to stay in contact - just sharing things with him, like we're still friends. Sometimes I get angry, sometimes I'm so sad, sometimes I'm just normal. I've never been one of those crazy people before, but this makes me feel crazy (the rollercoaster). GOD! Why can't I stop myself!? I do go out sometimes, on dates, try to stay busy, but the thought of him is always on my mind - I can be talking about something else entirely, but he's back there somewhere. I HATE THIS!! I used to paint a lot, when we were together (haven't had the heart since) and painted us together a lot. There's a big painting of us dancing together to our favorite band, which is STILL hanging in his living room (how do I know? Yes, I'm just crazy enough to stop and look through his front door once a month or so just to see if it's still there). Why is it still there? Probably because he doesn't bother to look at his wall much. But still. I wish there really was a Lacuna company, where you could erase someone from your mind. I should start charging him rent for living in my mind so much! AUGHGHGHG.
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