Just want to be over this

[silly023]

Hello, this is my first post here. I don't know where I am anymore or what to do. It all just seems like this never ending ache.

 

Tomorrow is exactly 3 months since my ex fiance ended things. We were together for almost 5 and a half years. I am 22 and he is 23. He basically had been acting strange and just constantly angry towards me a few weeks before he actually did it. When he did end things, he gave a whole list of reasons such as I don't know him, he is tired of the fact that I am the only one he has been with, I'm not worth it, he can't stand me, etc. I asked him if there was someone else and he was just kind of like "I don't know, maybe, but I'm not sure yet." well, about 3 weeks later he was dating a girl he works with who dumped her bf of 7 years at the same time, probably to be with him. I know he never cheated, but I know this girl expressed her interest in him while we were still together. Our last contact was about 3 weeks after we broke up where he basically told me to "eat s*** and get out of his life." I admit, after he ended things, i was texting him a lot and trying to talk to him, just b/c it was such a shock after having him for so long to not have him anymore.

 

These past 3 months have been so awful. I am working out, and doing things for myself to move on, and I realize my contribution that led to our downfall. I still have this deep hole inside me. I miss him so much. He has written me out of his life in every way possible, and has made no attempt at contact. From what I hear he is happy with his new girlfriend. He doesn't care about me at all anymore. I want to understand something, but I guess it's trying to make logic out of something that just is. I know I am young, but this is someone who I have spent nearly 1/4 of my life with. The only way he will probably ever talk to me again is if things with his new girl fall through. I feel like I was so easily forgettable to him, and I just meant nothing, after all I gave. I feel like no one understands how much this hurts. This is the man I thought I would marry. I want to be better, and I can't even imagine loving someone else again, especially not the way I loved him.

 

thanks for letting me vent

[Pyro]

Well that was rather rude and immature how he ended things with you.

 

I am very sorry for your hurt. That is an awful long time to be in a relationship and have it end. I can only imagine what you must be going through. The next thing that you need to do is think about yourself. Don't worry what he is doing anymore. He obviously did not want the same thing as you in the end. He obviously was not ready for such a big commitment.

 

You are doing such a good job with keeping yourself busy. keep that up and let time heal your wounds.

[In Sync]

Hello, this is my first post here. I don't know where I am anymore or what to do. It all just seems like this never ending ache.

 

Tomorrow is exactly 3 months since my ex fiance ended things. We were together for almost 5 and a half years. I am 22 and he is 23. He basically had been acting strange and just constantly angry towards me a few weeks before he actually did it. When he did end things, he gave a whole list of reasons such as I don't know him, he is tired of the fact that I am the only one he has been with, I'm not worth it, he can't stand me, etc. I asked him if there was someone else and he was just kind of like "I don't know, maybe, but I'm not sure yet." well, about 3 weeks later he was dating a girl he works with who dumped her bf of 7 years at the same time, probably to be with him. I know he never cheated, but I know this girl expressed her interest in him while we were still together. Our last contact was about 3 weeks after we broke up where he basically told me to "eat s*** and get out of his life." I admit, after he ended things, i was texting him a lot and trying to talk to him, just b/c it was such a shock after having him for so long to not have him anymore.

 

These past 3 months have been so awful. I am working out, and doing things for myself to move on, and I realize my contribution that led to our downfall. I still have this deep hole inside me. I miss him so much. He has written me out of his life in every way possible, and has made no attempt at contact. From what I hear he is happy with his new girlfriend. He doesn't care about me at all anymore. I want to understand something, but I guess it's trying to make logic out of something that just is. I know I am young, but this is someone who I have spent nearly 1/4 of my life with. The only way he will probably ever talk to me again is if things with his new girl fall through. I feel like I was so easily forgettable to him, and I just meant nothing, after all I gave. I feel like no one understands how much this hurts. This is the man I thought I would marry. I want to be better, and I can't even imagine loving someone else again, especially not the way I loved him.

 

 

thanks for letting me vent

 

As hard as this is for you to have gone through this experience based what you have written, if one tenth of it is true this guy is not fit to be in your presence. There is a link that is attached to my signature please click on it and listen to the audio fully. It may provide a source of inspiration. Many others have listen to it and found it so. Believe me, when I say there are many who understand your pain ...BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES.

Do not beat yourself or feel anything guilty for trying to contact this guy. You wanted answers and that was the least he could do...but the fact is no matter what, his behavior towards you was inexcusable. At this stage just cut him off. Don't contact him again. Regardless of what he could say to you, it will only be more hurtful and it will never appease you or offer you comfort.

 

P.S. YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN. Not today and maybe not tomorrow...but this guy did not take that capacity away from you. Your heart will heal in time, become stronger and filled with overflowing of love for someone more deserving. Love is precious. Aren't you glad to know ahead of time what kind of person he is deep down inside..imagine had you married this guy and then he did this. He did you a favor revealing his true character. keep venting that's what LS is here for.

[KittenMoon]

:::clears off a spot on the bench::: Welcome to the Twenty-Something-Dumped-After-An-LTR Club!

 

I'm in a similar sitch. Nearly 5 months out of a 6.5 yr relationship, only ones we had been with, etc etc. My ex didn't run off for another girl, but otherwise I am there with you.

 

Keep in mind he is probably going through a phase- a Quarter Life Crisis or something similar. I've been seeing this left and right over the past few years of my life (I'm 25), but it never meant much until it affected me. He may snap out of it eventually and return to the person you knew, or he may become another person entirely. I am familiar w/ several relationships that have gone through this and gotten back together eventually, but until the day comes when this is an option (and in reality the odds are on it never happening), you simply need to go on. No other advice really means a thing.. you just go on.

 

And it sucks. I still wake up sad every day. I am still aware of an enormous void in my heart where he used to be.

 

Not that this helps much, but if this had to happen, be thankful it happened now, while you are young, and not when you guys were 30 or 40 or older. You still have youth and time on your side.