fabulousgal Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 What's up with feeling brilliant one day, and then consumed with anger the next? I'm so angry at my ex, and I felt pretty low today. Just a few days ago I was not even thinking about it *that* much. I mean, I am def doing a lot better than I was a month ago. I have a lot more reminders than most people. We have the same friends. So maybe thats it, last night I ran into his buddies. I read something today that said anger towards the ex is a way of holding on. I don't want to hold on anymore. I can't really forgive him though, what he did was pretty rotten. The more time passes, the more I think he's an idiot for his actions. People are constantly saying that, but I am starting to believe it for myself. His loss. Just gotta get him out of my emotions now.
Pyro Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 What's up with feeling brilliant one day, and then consumed with anger the next? I'm so angry at my ex, and I felt pretty low today. Just a few days ago I was not even thinking about it *that* much. I mean, I am def doing a lot better than I was a month ago. I have a lot more reminders than most people. We have the same friends. So maybe thats it, last night I ran into his buddies. I read something today that said anger towards the ex is a way of holding on. I don't want to hold on anymore. I can't really forgive him though, what he did was pretty rotten. The more time passes, the more I think he's an idiot for his actions. People are constantly saying that, but I am starting to believe it for myself. His loss. Just gotta get him out of my emotions now. His loss exactly. Time is the only thing that will eventually get you over him. Just be patient and in the meantime be sure to keep yourself occupied with friends and activities that make you happy.
In Sync Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 What's up with feeling brilliant one day, and then consumed with anger the next? I'm so angry at my ex, and I felt pretty low today. Just a few days ago I was not even thinking about it *that* much. I mean, I am def doing a lot better than I was a month ago. I have a lot more reminders than most people. We have the same friends. So maybe thats it, last night I ran into his buddies. I read something today that said anger towards the ex is a way of holding on. I don't want to hold on anymore. I can't really forgive him though, what he did was pretty rotten. The more time passes, the more I think he's an idiot for his actions. People are constantly saying that, but I am starting to believe it for myself. His loss. Just gotta get him out of my emotions now. You simply can't rush through the process of healing. Plain and simple. You are processing the relationship now that you have resolved to letting it go. Since you are no longer enmeshed with him you are not being influenced by actually being in contact with him. Now you are feeling safe enough to let all the aspects of the relationship (The real crap) resurface. You are mental confronting them and having honest reactions to what happen to you while you were with him. I do believe there is truth the idea that the anger is a way of hanging on, but I think it's healthy to face it. Of course it not a stage that, I hope for your sake, you stay in. That's where the "hanging on" is problemic. Because we are not meant to stay in anger as sensitive evolving human beings. Take note. We are meant to change from these experiences. If you were in the same place as you were a year ago, a month ago or even a week ago..how can we say we have grown from it. We'd be bound to repeat what happened to us out of ignorance. You are doing so much better than when you first started writing about your breakup with this loser.
GW7147 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Hi FabgGal, I HATE rollercoasters!! I've been experiencing the same feelings as you lately. I think one of biggest things is being around friends and having a fantastic time and then when I'm on my way home I begin to feel some lonliness set back in. That's when my mind begins to wander. I just found out this past Friday that my ex is dating somebody now (4 weeks after we broke up) and she's allegedly going to marry this guy. I don't place much faith in that statement because after she seperated from her husband, she met someone a month later, planned to marry him and buy a house with him. I thought: How could she do that, she hadn't even had her divorce finalized? Then she broke up with him, met me 2 months later and talked marriage with me. Broke up with me and a month later met her new man and is talking marriage with him!! What a fruitloop!! I actually felt better when I heard that knowing she is "around the twist" (Isn't that a term in the U.K?). Her divorce still isn't finalized yet. Anyway, after feeling confident that I finally had some closure. A couple of days later, I became infuriated when I allowed my mind to get the best of me. It's trying to shut those thoughts and feelings off that is the difficult part. As you and I said before, working from home definitely affords us the opportunity of having too much time to ourselves. I actually started looking into information about thoughts, feelings and behaviors and why we feel the way we do. It's actually something a counselor told me to do to change my thought process. She said it works so, We'll have to see. By the way, I have access to private messaging now, so, feel free to contact me. I previously left my email address on a different thread for you.I would contact you but didn't want to impose. hang in there, as previously mentioned, time is going to be our best ally in this battle against our feelings and our brain dead exes!! All the best! Regards, GW
Diver012 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 These people that relationship jump like this just sickens me. Its like getting blindsided by a freight train. I think its important to take a step back from dating and do some "Me Work, otherwise, you end up becoming a relationship jumper yourself. Examine your thoughts and feelings, yeah its a roller coaster ride but a worthwhile one if you take time to learn its lesson. I felt like crap this morning, and by the afternoon, I felt much better. Who knows what tomorrow will bring... it will be another day.
climbergirl Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Hey Fabgal- I completely know what you are talking about. And the subsequent posts were spot on--I especially liked Insyncs post about now being able to process that anger w/o fear....because I felt for a long time unable to express to him how much he was hurting me. I've concluded that these days of angst are probably more directed at myself for holding on to someone who either didn't care, or worse really, didn't want to know how his actions were contributing to a fast-paced demise of our relationship. But I am sad..........I do believe we used to really love each other. I hate these days, too. And today is one of them........and having no idea what instigated it is worse. So much for avoiding 'triggers' when they pop up out of nowhere.
Recommended Posts