donpepot Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 This tip is for the ones who really has no hope..example..your ex been pregnant..(just kdding)or those who want to heal themselves than winning their ex back or if you cant handle the pain while in nc.. The best way to get over women is to just forget about her. Forget about your relationship and force yourself not to feel the pain. Refusing to give up and refusing to let this one break up ruin your entire life is a great start to getting over this brutal rejection. Instead of wallowing in despair and self pity, pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are better than this and that you don't need her. Tell yourself that you will get through this, convince yourself inside and our that you're just breaking up a relationship and that it's far from the end of the world. Hanging out with your family and friends are also a great way to getting over break ups. It is especially important that you hang around positive people after a break up. While it may seem like fun to hang around people who will whine and bitch about your ex-girlfriend, that's only a temporary kind of fun because you know that for all the bad qualities that she had, there were reasons why you stayed with her and that she was not all bad. Tainting your relationship by bitching and whining will probably hurt you more in the long run. Not thinking about your relationship and the woman will help as well. When you go to places that you went with her or eat at your favorite restaurant, don't think of these things! Don't let these memories keep haunting you. Avoid these places for as long as you need. This is because the longer you keep thinking of what was, the harder it is to handle the rejection and break up . Whatever memories you have of her, just file them up and forget them. Lock them away in a corner and throw away the key. This will really help you get over the breaking up of your relationship. The final thing that needs to be done to get over break ups, is to return everything of hers. Every little thing that belonged to her, give it back. I'm not suggesting that you return presents, but it may be a good idea to get rid of them or at least put them out of sight. This relates to the ‘good memories' that you made during your time together. In order to get over the rejection you really should not dwell on the past. These items will cause you to do so that is why you need to get rid of them. Breaking up relationships are hard to do and even harder to get over. But you can get over break ups, it isn't impossible. Just continue to live your life and find new goals and things to do. Dwelling on the past, in this case will not help you get over it at all. So as much as possible, just file and forget. [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]There are so many ways to get over break ups.Ill give you a couple: 1.join a volunteer group,volunteer for once in your life or atleats join a social activity group. 2Go back to school and look at what associates degree/certificate you can get 3.Loose x amount of pounds,get that six pack youve always wanted in 3 months 4.Now that youre single, you got more manoey to spend..ON YOUR SELF, buy some new clothes,fix your apartment/car. 5.Go to the library, get some books on how to improve yourself or even go for those fictional books to play with your brains. REMINDERS 1.its ok to need comforting2.Seek the support of otherssurround your self with things that aliveknow that sundays are the worstearlier loses may surfacebe gentle to your selfheal at your own paceits ok to feel afraid,depressed,angry or anything else that you feeleat nutrious foodpamper yourselfkeep a journalaffirm yourselflaughlet go of the losspraise yourself for having the courage to relateposthanks [/sIZE][/FONT]
dub03 Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I fully agree with everything you just said except the giving back her things part. Instead, I say slice em up, or smash them apart and then throw them away. That always feels good, and then they are gone.
Diver012 Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I fully agree with everything you just said except the giving back her things part. Instead, I say slice em up, or smash them apart and then throw them away. That always feels good, and then they are gone. Just make sure that theres nothing valuable in the pile of stuff or you may end up in court.. hehe
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 any one ever heard of pawning?? I had 300 dollar rings and i gave em back through a letter, Lord I wish I pawned though hahah
jerbear Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I do not believe in destroying other peoples stuff. What is not right fully yours should not be destroyed just out of spite. It is ok to be upset but not destructive. Pawning $300 rings? Cool... I wonder what my ex did with the ring, probably melted it down. It was engraved with her initials and mine.
thekhris Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 when my ex broke up with me...i give all her things and pic to my brother to put it in the safe place..where i wont find it...
Pink Amulet Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 I have so much stuff of his.... I don't want to give it back because that would involve some form of contact. I also have about $9200 (au) worth of diamond jewellery I think I might just keep them
Guest Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 That was great, thanks!! It would require a determined mind to make a conscious effort to tackle some of those tasks. PS. I'm a woman, so I had to substitute 'she/her' with 'he/him.'
whir Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 just cant wait to get over her..its more painfull that tooth ache you know
Author donpepot Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 That was great, thanks!! It would require a determined mind to make a conscious effort to tackle some of those tasks. PS. I'm a woman, so I had to substitute 'she/her' with 'he/him.' thanx no problem
whir Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 when my ex broke up with me...i give all her things and pic to my brother to put it in the safe place..where i wont find it... me too~!!!
thekhris Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 the best thing to heal is dont EVER EVER PITTY YOUR SELF
thekhris Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 thr brst thing you should do to heal is dont ever pity your self
Pink Amulet Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 why are you avoiding contact Because that horrible son of a bitch doesn't deserve to lay eyes on me again.
superconductor Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Because that horrible son of a bitch doesn't deserve to lay eyes on me again. That may be so, but he still should have his stuff back. Besides, having it around you will only further remind you of him. Isn't there a way to get his stuff back to him through a third party so he doesn't get the chance to gaze at your form?
thekhris Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 she wont give it back bcoz its a diamond jewellry.....lolz
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 How does having pity on your self mess up the healing process? I guess by not being confident right? I hate this dang long over a year healing process I ALWAYS GET MY SET BACKS GRRR HHA
MassiveAtom Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Some of the points in this post make sense on the surface. But dig a little deeper into the human condition and you find they perpetuate the same relationship patterns that plague us all. They infect the sensibilities and spirit such that future relationships are threatened before they even start. First off, Breakups happen because one or both people are discontent in the relationship to the point the one or both see no further value in the relationship as it is. So it ends. An ending is simply a change in the way things are. Change is the ONLY thing that is certain in this life. it ALL changes. and it WILL. Dealing with change is easily the MOST difficult thing humans have to learn to do. Changes in realtionships are the most difficult of changes. When it comes to change, the best approach is to embrace the change and face it fully with your whole self. Live fully and honestly through the change experience ALL of your emotions, honoring the value of each and every one. here's what I mean. Just forgetting about someone, forcing yourself to ignore emotional pain is tantamount to short-changing a very powerful mechanism of the human spirit. That is healing. If you cut your arm, do you just ignore it and hope it will go away? nope. You accept that you've been wounded, allow yourself to be in that state, you understand that it hurts, and you know what to do to make it better. You know how to heal yourself physically and emotionally, and you understand the wound, whatever type it is, does not make you weak or bad or stupid. It's a wound. It HURTS! and you can fix it. Interestingly, when you were a small child and you cut your arm, you HOWLED and SCREAMED, threw a fit possibly- because you were afraid, and you didn't know how to heal. If no one were there to help you, likely the wound would become infected and cause bigger problems in later on. Avoiding thorough, proper emotional healing does the same thing, just invisibly. On destruction and cleansing. Destoying other people's property is just wrong. Put it in a box, cry over everything if you must, and mail it to it's rightful owner. The process itself is liberating. What's happenning inside is emotional attachments are being severed, and that is saddening, confusing, and painful. but stay in control of yourself. After all you ARE the ONLY person you can control. Don't destroy - this is a time to create something new. The best way to exorcise emotional pain is to feel it fully. It won't kill you. It can be hard to endure, but it will pass. And guess what, when it does, your heart will remember the depths to which it can go, your mind will know the place to which it is willing to return. When your heart and mind agree, you'll have heart/mind concurrence. The freedom that provides, is like no other. It's an emotional experience that can take you far in later relationships. On self pity, The LAst thing you want to do is sink into a self-pitying state. I can happen and if you do find yourself there, and it's part of your process, go ahead! But understand that self-pity is an inward, downward spiral. So get some counseling while you ride that rollercoaster. A couple of the points were indeed very good. like being gentle and kind to yourself. Absolutely! And take ALL your time. it doesn't happen overnight. So really, for the deepest, most thorough recovery from an emotional loss, allow your emotions their day in the sun. Repress nothing, go all the way through the pain, step by painful step. It's a firewalk for sure, but with a little support and a lot of heart. You'll make it. I just know you can. Be well. MA
Brittjean06 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Oh great post! ^ It really is amazing of where your bruised heart can take you, very scary. And it is even more amazing how it can slowly jump back.
thekhris Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 jesus why the long post...donpepot already post it..no need to repeat it in a more confucing matter... The best way to get over women is to just forget about her. Forget about your relationship and force yourself not to feel the pain. Refusing to give up and refusing to let this one break up ruin your entire life is a great start to getting over this brutal rejection. Instead of wallowing in despair and self pity, pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are better than this and that you don't need her. 1.its ok to need comforting 2.Seek the support of otherssurround your self with things that aliveknow that sundays are the worstearlier loses may surfacebe gentle to your selfheal at your own paceits ok to feel afraid,depressed,angry or anything else that you feeleat nutrious foodpamper yourselfkeep a journalaffirm yourselflaughlet go of the losspraise yourself for having the courage to relateposthanks[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=2][FONT=Arial][/sIZE][/FONT]
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