trillium Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I hate this feeling of having things end with a dangle instead of a firm shut of the door. Was it really so hard to just say, “I can’t see you anymore” instead of “I’ll call you in a few days”? Or just to answer my one email with a firm answer. Granted…every day that he doesn’t contact me is another piece of evidence it’s over. I know that. I’ve been gathering days up as clues to put the picture together. And I know I would have held on to hope for a bit despite his words. It just feels cruel on his part to allow the possibility, no matter how unreasonable, to exist. How hard would it have been to type one line in an email? Forget the niceties of doing it in person. Don’t know that I’m asking for anything other than the chance to just spout what’s running through my head/heart. I’m frustrated with myself for letting this get to me and fearful of how long it will take to kill all hope. It sneaks up on me at unexpected times and feels so genuine that I can’t help but think, maybe.
Diver012 Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I know the feeling... I really do. Its been 2 months for me now. I am moving on. I feel ok. It is getting better. Although I still have no explanation as to what happened, and suspect I never will, I dont really care anymore what it was. You see, if someone is so dispicable, so rotten, as to not offer an explanation, a reason, or even breakup with you in the first place, do they really deserve you at all? Dont you want someone in your life thats capable of being on the same level as you? My breakup hurt like hell too. It does get better.
KittenMoon Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Oh yeah? How about saying 4 months down the line "I miss so many things but I don't want to get back together because of many others" but "I still might want us to be together" but "neither of us have changed enough". Yeah... thanks.... that will definetly help me move on.
magichands Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 It sounds just like that Supremes song, "You Keep Me Hangin' On."
BrandonBP Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 "I still might want us to be together" but "neither of us have changed enough". Yep, I get that one too. It gives you hope where there likely is none.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 There is a door, basically closed, with a chain lock on it, that is still open a crack. You are standing in the hallway outside the locked door. The door is open enough to see the light coming through the crack of the door, and to let sound and air through, but it isn't really open anymore. That light you can see through the crack of the door is what your relationship was, or more likely, what you imagined it would be in the future. The door has two knobs, one on each side. He is on the inside of the partially locked door, probably doing all the things with someone else that you once loved to do with him, and you are on the outside of the door. He is unwilling to push the door shut so it clicks, and engage the deadbolt, and may even like the idea that you are standing on the other side, waiting for him, if he decides he wants you. On the other hand, you are also unwilling to pull it shut, and walk away. That is just a restatement of the situation. The question you must now ask yourself, is what do you get from standing outside the partially locked door, and would someone who truly loved you, the way that he should love you, really want to leave you standing there?...
WithOrWithoutYou Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 There is a door, basically closed, with a chain lock on it, that is still open a crack. You are standing in the hallway outside the locked door. The door is open enough to see the light coming through the crack of the door, and to let sound and air through, but it isn't really open anymore. That light you can see through the crack of the door is what your relationship was, or more likely, what you imagined it would be in the future. The door has two knobs, one on each side. He is on the inside of the partially locked door, probably doing all the things with someone else that you once loved to do with him, and you are on the outside of the door. He is unwilling to push the door shut so it clicks, and engage the deadbolt, but you are also unwilling to pull it shut, and walk away. That is just a restatement of the situation. The question you must now ask yourself, is what do you get from standing outside the partially locked door, and would someone who truly loved you, the way that he should love you, really want to leave you standing there?...
Author trillium Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 Oh yeah? How about saying 4 months down the line "I miss so many things but I don't want to get back together because of many others" but "I still might want us to be together" but "neither of us have changed enough". You win.....that is harsh and downright despicable. I just don't get it, why would anyone pop back into your life just to cut you like that again? They should just stay away.
Author trillium Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 That is just a restatement of the situation. The question you must now ask yourself, is what do you get from standing outside the partially locked door, and would someone who truly loved you, the way that he should love you, really want to leave you standing there?... Brutal but oh so accurate. I am asking myself that and wondering why I haven't slammed that door shut myself. I do know that there's one simple way to burn all bridges between us. That would ensure he doesn't pop out of the woodwork in 6 mos. But I haven't done that since it's not my style. I've got a week in the woods coming up next week where I hope to heal and get my mojo back.
Author trillium Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 My breakup hurt like hell too. It does get better. Thanks Diver... I can't wait to be another month or more out from this. I understand everything you say intellectually but my heart churns on like an idiot.
JCD Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Hoping is for naive people including myself I've learned a lesson though and I'm not going to be someone's safety net anymore. Meanwhile I was waiting for her to make up her mind I could have gone out with other people. I think we are too nice to them while they don't give a hoot for our feelings. Or maybe we are so attached to them that we are unwilling to shut that door in front of us for fear we won't love the same way again. It's time to date someone else, someone who we deserve and who is showing their affection for us for once in a while.
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