miracgirl Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 How long do people typically keep logging-in to their profile when they start dating someone they meet through an online dating site? I met someone on there and we had four dates over the course of a month and we seem to hit it off but he is still logging in all the time (I know because I go on too, mostly to see if he's there.; bad, I know, but i can't help it!!!
crystallizedrose Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I know your pain. Here's my advice to you, though - don't check. No, seriously. Don't. It will only make you unhappy, and you haven't agreed to be exclusive yet, anyway (have you?). So all you're doing is making yourself unhappy, and there's nothing you can do about it. The thing is, a guy you're dating could be meeting people anywhere - the supermarket, the metro, at a bar, whatever. You have no way of knowing, and for now, you're only dating. Yes, it would be awesome if he just turned it off and told you so and proclaimed undying devotion. But you aren't there yet. Option b, instead of checking, would be to continue dating yourself. You do have that right. Or to fill up your time with friends and other fun activities. But if you find you're just waiting around for him to turn that profile off, I suspect it'll be too difficult to act naturally and just enjoy this period. And please, do remember - you aren't powerless. It's a two-way street. If the exclusive thing doesn't happen soon enough for you in a relationship, you are free to walk away. And you should.
Tony T Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 How long do people typically keep logging-in to their profile when they start dating someone they meet through an online dating site? I met someone on there and we had four dates over the course of a month and we seem to hit it off but he is still logging in all the time (I know because I go on too, mostly to see if he's there.; bad, I know, but i can't help it!!! I hate to tell you this but it has been my observation that a good many people on dating sites enjoy playing, it's like they are in a candy store and they want to keep sampling the new sweets as they come in the door. This behavior is not just typical of men. Go out with him again and let him know that you have ceased involvement in the site for now....that's all you have to say. See what his reponse is. If he says he has as well...then see if he signs on again. Right now, he has a perfect right to keep signing on and on and on. Until he is sure you're the one he wants to commit to, I think he's doing himself a service by continuing to look...as much as it may make you feel uncomfortable. Don't take it personally. Most people want to feel they have the best life has to offer.
Author miracgirl Posted July 3, 2006 Author Posted July 3, 2006 Thanks, guys. that's what I wanted to know, if this is normal and from what you say, it is. As disgusting as it is that he may be shopping around for something better, I can handle that if that's the norm on these dating sites. I'm not going to take it personally then, as hard as that may be, i'm just going to think that he'd keep looking no matter who he met, since he can't be sure about me after only four dates.
Stunner Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 One of the men I met recently through an online service was very honest...he was asking me seriously, "how do you know when to take a chance and stop seeing other people? I'm afraid I'm going to miss 'the one' while going out with someone else." I told him I believed that if I was to go out with someone for a time, say a month or two, I would most definitely know by then whether I wanted to be with them exclusively or not. Part of love IMO is to be willing to take the chance knowing full well you might wind up being disappointed or hurt. Love is a crap shoot and there isn't a guarantee that it will work out forever. I haven't seen him since.....my choice. Serial dater, I believe they call that.
allina Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I don't understand. You are logging in as well, so why can't he. There is a chance he feels the same way is there not?
Tony T Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I don't understand. You are logging in as well, so why can't he. There is a chance he feels the same way is there not? They BOTH may be logging in to see if the other is logging in...wouldn't that be a hoot! hahaha!
allina Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 They BOTH may be logging in to see if the other is logging in...wouldn't that be a hoot! hahaha! That's what I'm saying. Maybe he's logging in to see if she's still logging in, therefore he keeps logging in, causing her to keep logging in to see if he's still logging in! A vicious never ending cycle of logging in!!
Author miracgirl Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 oh, how I wish it were so.....but it's not. I can see that he's logged on for like an hour at a time..so there goes that theory.
stronggirl Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 That's what I'm saying. Maybe he's logging in to see if she's still logging in, therefore he keeps logging in, causing her to keep logging in to see if he's still logging in! A vicious never ending cycle of logging in!! omg, too funny.
BareGoddess Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 oh, how I wish it were so.....but it's not. I can see that he's logged on for like an hour at a time..so there goes that theory. Ok, I don't get this. Is it me? If you can see that he's logged in for an hour at a time, are YOU not also logged in for that same hour? So he can also say that he sees YOU logged in for an hour at a time, no?
Author miracgirl Posted July 4, 2006 Author Posted July 4, 2006 Ok, I don't get this. Is it me? If you can see that he's logged in for an hour at a time, are YOU not also logged in for that same hour? So he can also say that he sees YOU logged in for an hour at a time, no? Not exactly....I loggin and loggoff over and over within the hour and he's still on
alphamale Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 forget about online dating, its total ********. try meeting people in real life. it works much better. online dating can be added to the growing lists of corporate legalized scams perpetrated upon consumers.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 forget about online dating, its total ********. try meeting people in real life. it works much better. online dating can be added to the growing lists of corporate legalized scams perpetrated upon consumers. Hmm. Strange. I met my SO online and couldn't be happier and more in love. Online dating is for some, not for others, just as everything else.
alphamale Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Hmm. Strange. I met my SO online and couldn't be happier and more in love. Online dating is for some' date=' not for others, just as everything else.[/quote'] Techonolgy is great for some thing and bad for other things. For example, I'm playing on LS right now and also watching the live feed for the Shuttle Launch (both audio and video)... Technology however, will never quite replace interpersonal relationships.
clandestinidad Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 So.....when you log on repeatedly within an hour, you can see that he's been on for __ amount of time......... using what little logical capabilities I have, doesnt that mean that he can see you log in and out repeatedly within __ amount of time???? If I saw someone doing that much sporadic logging on and off I would think 2 things: -This person is a weirdo -This person needs to get a better freakin internet connection Neither are very good, IMO I really think you should relax about this. You havent become monogamous, and therefore both of you can talk to whoever you want. Dont run a possible relationship into the ground this early just because of this. Its part of dating.....you keep options open until you realize you want to be exclusive.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 My bet is he logs in and just leaves it logged in. I do that alot, I do it with LS. I never log out, or hardly ever. And if you guys aren't exclusive and planning a relationship, then I don't see why he can't log in to check his personal mail. It would be the same as him flirting with the coffee shop girl or a co worker... JMO
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