HeyYouGuys Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I feel nauseated by this. There is a woman I work with who is always on Ebay searching for deals on Tiffany jewelry and Louis Vuitton bags for her daughter. Her daughter is 12. She says, "Well, a lot of her friends have parents who are doctors or judges or CEO's and the kids all have this stuff. It's just so important to them at this age" I think buying yourself expensive designer stuff is kind of dumb....but if you're an adult and that's how you want to spend your money, go for it. But for a KID? What do you guys think?
jerbear Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I went thru that phase as a kid, my parents could not afford what I wanted. Shoes the same as my classmates not some knock offs. Clothes that had real logos not some strange brand. Kids get teased left and right and it really hurts their self esteem. The parents probably went thru that and knows how it feels. Parents want their children to have the things they (parents), did not have and it may include those item. Now the parent has some resources they try to provide those items. It may also be living beyond her means as her peers are professionals.
Fun2BMe Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I don't think it's a big deal. Most kids are into labels. I sure was. I mean people dress up their dogs in designs labels and jewelery so it's not a big deal that she buys the things for her 12 year old daughter who doesn't want to stand out from what her friends are wearing. At that age it is very important to have label clothes, purses and shoes especially for girls. I wouldn't buy it on ebay though since chances are that it will be fake. I think of it as the opposite way. As a kid it is very important so you have to spend to buy the labels. As an adult you should know better and see it as a waste of money, but most people go through the label phase. Some don't grow out of it though.
blind_otter Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 It strikes me as odd because I never went through a label phase. I shop indiscriminately at second hand stores and thrift stores. I missed the label stage because I went to catholic school and wore a uniform. There's something to be said for enforced uniformity at that age. I remember one of the nuns talking to my parents about it telling them that the uniforms are good because the poor and the rich kids all have to wear the same thing so they don't have to compete with their clothing, which struck me as a good thing, even at that age.
BareGoddess Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I think it's sad that the mother is doing that. It sends the wrong message. What kind of values is she teaching this kid?
jerbear Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 It strikes me as odd because I never went through a label phase. I shop indiscriminately at second hand stores and thrift stores. I missed the label stage because I went to catholic school and wore a uniform. There's something to be said for enforced uniformity at that age. I remember one of the nuns talking to my parents about it telling them that the uniforms are good because the poor and the rich kids all have to wear the same thing so they don't have to compete with their clothing, which struck me as a good thing, even at that age. Although I do not have kids yet, I have thought of private education with uniforms to enforce uniformity. Equalize the poor & rich kids to focus on education not being fashionistas or label whores. Not have labels in my life, I now have a bunch. I realize where my issues lie and it was with my past. I can now afford many things my parents could not and have a better future. I may do something like the mom in providing frills to a child's life because I did not have that opportunity. Easier said when the time comes when the child looks up to you and asks if they can get that item.
SoleMate Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I wonder who really wants/needs the labels - the kid or the mother? If the kid needs that stuff so bad, I would expect to see her on ebay. I do think kids should have a bit of the current trends if the parents can afford it, but I would not want mine to lead the pack in snob-inspired frippery.
Outcast Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I missed the label stage because I went to catholic school and wore a uniform. There's something to be said for enforced uniformity at that age. I remember one of the nuns talking to my parents about it telling them that the uniforms are good because the poor and the rich kids all have to wear the same thing so they don't have to compete with their clothing, which struck me as a good thing, even at that age. Amen to that! I think it's pitiful that parents are encouraging the kids to get hooked on status symbols. It's also pitiful that people keep trying to shelter their kids from 'being teased' rather than teaching their kids to be resilient and to not care what others think, particularly about stupid things like what labels you wear. What is with teaching your children to conform like sheep lest they suffer scorn? Screw anybody who scorns them. The woman should be teaching her children that their worth is not to be found in their possessions nor in their dress and that people who judge them that way are not worthy of them.
westernxer Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I wonder who really wants/needs the labels - the kid or the mother? Definitely the mother.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Um... I went through a label stage... but not at 12!!!! At the age of 12 I was still playing with Barbie dolls!!! I can see a teen wanting designer labels, but 12 year olds simply do not have the appriciation for expensive taste. Now I either shop in the bargin bins at an expensive store or at thrift stores, or those little boutiques in shopping malls.
Buttaflyy Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I think the mother is doing this for all of the wrong reasons, and she is not instilling certain values that a little girl should learn! She is going to have a superficial, materialistic little girl on her hands and she (the mom) will always be trying to keep up with the Jones' until she's dead broke and bankrupt! This will only get worst, as her daughter gets older. I have an eleven yr old myself. She has a Tiffany bracelet that my mom brought her for her good grades. She has no idea what she's being complemented for when she wears it. She doesn't know Tiffany from Barbie at this age, and she darn well won't be getting a LV bag anytime soon.
Author HeyYouGuys Posted July 3, 2006 Author Posted July 3, 2006 I went through a label phase as a kid too...designer jeans and expensive sneakers and all that. But my parents never sent HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS ON A HANDBAG!!! For a 12 year old? These are not wealthy parents. The father has a good job and makes about 80K per year but when you live in a price-y area, that's not a lot. The mother makes in the low 50's.So yes, they can afford a nice house and nice things, but they do not have the kind of lifestyle that a $900 handbag goes along with.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I think buying yourself expensive designer stuff is kind of dumb....but if you're an adult and that's how you want to spend your money, go for it. But for a KID? I know a couple who just bought their 16 yr old daughter a brand new BMW 325i convertible. That's about $45,000 folks. But she's attractive and gets all A's at her exclusive prep school. She's planning on going to Harvard....or was it Yale?
Buttaflyy Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I know a couple who just bought their 16 yr old daughter a brand new BMW 325i convertible. That's about $45,000 folks. But she's attractive and gets all A's at her exclusive prep school. She's planning on going to Harvard....or was it Yale? Great! And it sounds like they can actually afford it!
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I know a couple who just bought their 16 yr old daughter a brand new BMW 325i convertible. That's about $45,000 folks. But she's attractive and gets all A's at her exclusive prep school. She's planning on going to Harvard....or was it Yale? Alph what does this have to do with anything? And are you implying that since she's attractive she deserves to have life handed to her on a silver tray as opposed to unattractive girls? Uh oh... now I know why my parents never bought me that Honda civic I wanted so bad!! :eek: And 16 is a little more understable than 12!!
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Alph what does this have to do with anything? my point is you can bring your children up the right way and without spoiling them if you are an intelligent and firm parent(s).
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 my point is you can bring your children up the right way and without spoiling them if you are an intelligent and firm parent(s). And I'm sure you would know all about this since you have so many chidren right?
Buttaflyy Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 my point is you can bring your children up the right way and without spoiling them if you are an intelligent and firm parent(s). The point is that this woman can't afford most of the things she's buying for her daughter. And also, there was no mention of her rewarding her. Sounds like she's trying to keep up with the Jones' more than anything. By doing this you teach your children to be materialistic.
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I hate the Jone's. Everytime I save up enough to buy a fancy new car like theirs, they go and buy a plasma TV with surround sound system!!
Fun2BMe Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I think she's being a nice mom. Instead of flat out saying no we can't afford it, she's putting in time searching for deals. If the daughter bought on ebay herself, there aare so many scams. Plus most sellers accept credit card or paypal payments only or check so the 12 year old would not be able to buy it herself. I think it would be worse to give access and permission to a 12 year old to make purchases online. Who knows what they'd end up spending on. from around 11-15 me and my friends along with almost all the other school kids were so into labels. I don't see anything wrong with it. Tennis shoes HAD to be reeboks only and so on. It's like saying why do kids play video games or eat junk food. It's part of growing up. When I see adults all labeled out, then I have to roll my eyes. I did go to private school for a while where uniforms were enforced. We felt so represeed that we'd dress up with extra effort whenever getting together socially. Anyways as long as the values are instilled, taking away fashion at that age is cruel punishment. I think she's a great mom to stretch her dollar to help her daughter feel happier about the stuff she owns.
Buttaflyy Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I think she's being a nice mom. Instead of flat out saying no we can't afford it, she's putting in time searching for deals. If the daughter bought on ebay herself, there aare so many scams. Plus most sellers accept credit card or paypal payments only or check so the 12 year old would not be able to buy it herself. I think it would be worse to give access and permission to a 12 year old to make purchases online. Who knows what they'd end up spending on. from around 11-15 me and my friends along with almost all the other school kids were so into labels. I don't see anything wrong with it. Tennis shoes HAD to be reeboks only and so on. It's like saying why do kids play video games or eat junk food. It's part of growing up. When I see adults all labeled out, then I have to roll my eyes. I did go to private school for a while where uniforms were enforced. We felt so represeed that we'd dress up with extra effort whenever getting together socially. Anyways as long as the values are instilled, taking away fashion at that age is cruel punishment. I think she's a great mom to stretch her dollar to help her daughter feel happier about the stuff she owns. I agree that children want to keep up with labels and as a parent you want to provide the best for your kids. But LV and Tiffany is extreme. Not only could your child be robbed and harmed for these expensive items, there is a underlying message there that the child picks up on. Why the eyeroll when adults who work and make money wear these labels? IMO an adult can buy/wear whatever they can afford. I'd rather spend money on my child's education so that she can afford to buy whatever she wants as an adult.
climbergirl Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I think she's being a nice mom. Instead of flat out saying no we can't afford it, she's putting in time searching for deals. If the daughter bought on ebay herself, there aare so many scams. Plus most sellers accept credit card or paypal payments only or check so the 12 year old would not be able to buy it herself. I think it would be worse to give access and permission to a 12 year old to make purchases online. Who knows what they'd end up spending on. from around 11-15 me and my friends along with almost all the other school kids were so into labels. I don't see anything wrong with it. Tennis shoes HAD to be reeboks only and so on. It's like saying why do kids play video games or eat junk food. It's part of growing up. When I see adults all labeled out, then I have to roll my eyes. I did go to private school for a while where uniforms were enforced. We felt so represeed that we'd dress up with extra effort whenever getting together socially. Anyways as long as the values are instilled, taking away fashion at that age is cruel punishment. I think she's a great mom to stretch her dollar to help her daughter feel happier about the stuff she owns. With all due respect, I totally disagree. At the age of 12 I already had jobs (babysitting, paper route, selling fruit and vegetables at road stands-and my parents were wealthy!) My kids ask for it (they don't) they gotta earn it......just like adults have to. IMO-you want it enough.....you'll find a way to earn it or save for it.
Buttaflyy Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 With all due respect, I totally disagree. At the age of 12 I already had jobs (babysitting, paper route, selling fruit and vegetables at road stands-and my parents were wealthy!) My kids ask for it (they don't) they gotta earn it......just like adults have to. IMO-you want it enough.....you'll find a way to earn it or save for it. Exactly the point I was trying to make. This is a great lesson for kids to learn early!
climbergirl Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Exactly the point I was trying to make. This is a great lesson for kids to learn early! Thanks Buttaflyy!!
Fun2BMe Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 With all due respect, I totally disagree. At the age of 12 I already had jobs (babysitting, paper route, selling fruit and vegetables at road stands-and my parents were wealthy!) My kids ask for it (they don't) they gotta earn it......just like adults have to. IMO-you want it enough.....you'll find a way to earn it or save for it. I'm glad my parents didn't have that mentality. They always said that once you're an adult, you will be working your whole life, so they worked extra hard to provide for us. I don't think it's right for people to start working at 12 years old to buy what is close to a necessity - clothes the rest of the kids are wearing. You can babysit for toy or candy money or to save up or extra clothes, but even that before age 15 is a little extreme unless it's an allowance. I doubt the mother is dropping 20,000 on a diamond Tiffany bracelet. Maybe a $50 charm. And a $200 purse can last the whole year. Big deal.
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