ac123 Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Hi girls, I'm new here but I have a question. I'll try to sum it up real quick. I went out with a girl for only about 4 month's. I was real good to her told her I loved her too soon and she told me she loved me. Anyways she dumped me and said she wanted to be friends. It seemed that wouldn't work out as I couldn't get over her. It took about a month of being miserable 24/7 and about 5 or 6 more month's of thinking about her a lot and wanting to be with her. When it became apparent that we couldn't be friends she said if I ever could be her friend to let her know. We were friends for a little while but one night I was drunk and left her some messages online. These weren’t nice, and were uncalled for. Nothing too serious but I could tell she was hurt. Right in the message I told her that I hoped she was hurt so she could feel half as bad as I did when she broke my heart. I know it was stupid of me. I wasn't near over her. This was in February. I apologized the next day and again seemed pretty pissed and that she could tell I wasn't over her. She said she would be my friend but wouldn't put up with that any more. We've spoken only 3 times online since then. I initiated the convo all times, and they were mostly brief. I can honestly say I am completely over her. The problem is that we were such close friends and have a lot in common, even before we went out. I don't want to go out with her but would like to be friendly with her again. I'm thinking about iming her and basically say that I liked being her friend and that I feel like my actions caused me to loose one, and see if she would like to do something sometime, as friends only. Which is really what I want, just a friend. My Question Do you think I should try? It's been a while since we talked. Also if I do what would be the best way to go about this?
magichands Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Friendships just happen - I don't think you ask someone to be your friend. Maybe in kindergarten. Did you ever do things as part of a group? If so, then maybe you could invite her along to something like that. Otherwise, if you want to do the one-on-one thing, then make sure you can leave all your baggage at home. You have to ask yourself - really ask yourself - what your motivation is... and whether you are completely over her. I'm guessing that you're not.
Bogun Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Just let her go mate. Find some new friends. I broke up with an ex 15 months ago, and hadnt had any contact with her for about 10 months and was happily getting on with my life. Then stupidly sent her an email about a week ago about something meaningless, which resulted in her sending some friendly emails back, about what she's been up to. I thought I'd be fine with it, but its really messed me up. She seems fine with having a friendly chit chat, and has no idea what its done to me. Now I have to get myself out of this mess. I've learnt my lesson. Friendship with an ex just does not work.
Fun2BMe Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I think your feelings will get in the way for you to be friends with her. I think it might be a better idea to try with the friendship after you have a new girlfriend so that you won't think of her as a potential girlfriend material. Better yet move on completely. The damage has already been done and things won't be the same as before.
binevrywear Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Imagine this conversation:Your ex: Hi! Jeez, great to see you. Sorry I look a bit of a mess. Just had some wild sex with my new boyfriend.You: Oh. Um. How was it?Now, do you really want to be her friend? Friends tell each other things, personal things. Do you really want to hear about her life - all of it? If the answer is even remotely close to no, don't contact her again.
longlegzs80 Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Hi girls, I'm new here but I have a question. I'll try to sum it up real quick. I went out with a girl for only about 4 month's. I was real good to her told her I loved her too soon and she told me she loved me. Anyways she dumped me and said she wanted to be friends. It seemed that wouldn't work out as I couldn't get over her. It took about a month of being miserable 24/7 and about 5 or 6 more month's of thinking about her a lot and wanting to be with her. When it became apparent that we couldn't be friends she said if I ever could be her friend to let her know. We were friends for a little while but one night I was drunk and left her some messages online. These weren’t nice, and were uncalled for. Nothing too serious but I could tell she was hurt. Right in the message I told her that I hoped she was hurt so she could feel half as bad as I did when she broke my heart. I know it was stupid of me. I wasn't near over her. This was in February. I apologized the next day and again seemed pretty pissed and that she could tell I wasn't over her. She said she would be my friend but wouldn't put up with that any more. We've spoken only 3 times online since then. I initiated the convo all times, and they were mostly brief. I can honestly say I am completely over her. The problem is that we were such close friends and have a lot in common, even before we went out. I don't want to go out with her but would like to be friendly with her again. I'm thinking about iming her and basically say that I liked being her friend and that I feel like my actions caused me to loose one, and see if she would like to do something sometime, as friends only. Which is really what I want, just a friend. My Question Do you think I should try? It's been a while since we talked. Also if I do what would be the best way to go about this? Ex boyfriends who want to stay friends obviously want more and want to stick to you like a booger. Personally I am in the same boat but with my ex him and I are business partners and it is hard enough to handle that knowing that I can;t stand his arse. My suggestion to you is don't be friends with your ex and if you decide to be friends with him, make sure it isn't you and him getting back together.
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