Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Hi, I'm new here but I have a question. I'll try to sum it up real quick. I went out with a girl for only about 4 month's. I was real good to her told her I loved her too soon and she told me she loved me. Anyways she dumped me and said she wanted to be friends. It seemed that wouldn't work out as I couldn't get over her. It took about a month of being miserable 24/7 and about 5 or 6 more month's of thinking about her a lot and wanting to be with her. When it became apparent that we couldn't be friends she said if I ever could be her friend to let her know. We were friends for a little while but one night I was drunk and left her some messages online. These weren’t nice, and were uncalled for. Nothing too serious but I could tell she was hurt. Right in the message I told her that I hoped she was hurt so she could feel half as bad as I did when she broke my heart. I know it was stupid of me. I wasn't near over her. This was in February. I apologized the next day and again seemed pretty pissed and that she could tell I wasn't over her. She said she would be my friend but wouldn't put up with that any more. We've spoken only 3 times online since then. I initiated the convo all times, and they were mostly brief. I can honestly say I am completely over her. The problem is that we were such close friends and have a lot in common, even before we went out. I don't want to go out with her but would like to be friendly with her again. I'm thinking about iming her and basically say that I liked being her friend and that I feel like my actions caused me to loose one, and see if she would like to do something sometime, as friends only. Which is really what I want, just a friend. My Question Do you think I should try? It's been a while since we talked. Also if I do what would be the best way to go about this?
Ukwizard Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Sounds like to me, my friend that you are still not over her. Your obssessing! How do I know, well I ve been there. Exactly where you are now. I ve been through it. When my girlfriend split up with me, I emailed her every day although she emailed back, and replied to what ever I said, but then we moved from the emails to the phone, and then texts. At first I did it right. I stopped emailing every day (well we did that anyway when we where together so there was no chnage there), but despite what I was told by my friends. To stop texting her. Despite what I was told I kept on texting her, it became often, and in the end it pissed her off. The texting, and phone calls went on for 6 months after we split up, and now she doesn`t speak to me at all. The answer to your question is YES. You can be friends, but only when all the feelings have gone, and you STOP obssessing about her. Like what my brother said when he went through a bad break up. All this pursuing, and chasing after someone when they are NOT interested will only drive them away. It gets very stressful for them too. If you want to be friends then, yes by all means contact her, but maybe a light hearted email sharing jokes or funny attachments. Maybe a email once a month, or a text here, and there. Take it real slow. You need to get your foot in the door again. You need to show that you have one motive, and that motive is .......... friends, and nothing else.
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