Killik Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I just dumped my boyfriend after only dating a couple of months. I found out that he was still seeing his abusive girlfriend of 9 years. He kept on saying he didn't mean to hurt me. I find that statement hard to believe. If he really cared about me, he should've allowed me the right to know. He took that right away by being dishonest. At one point, he wanted me to move in with him, and have sex with him occasionally (aka Screw Buddy, Friend with Benefits, NSA). I'm glad that didn't happen. I also found out that he had severe emotional and mental problems: subject to horrible bouts of loneliness and depression, admitted he was OCD, and was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for two months. His emotional, mental health, AND financial issues contributed to the death of our relationship. We spent the night at a hotel. He did this knowing FULL WELL that he would be near-broke for the rest of the month. I had no idea how bad it was. I didn't see him for nearly a month and a half. He suddenly shut me out and became distant for no logical reason. I tried to reach out to him, assure him that it didn't matted that he didn't need money to see me. He was still spending money on his girlfriend. If she wanted $70 or $100 pants, he'd buy it. If she wanted to go an expensive restaurant, they'd go. Meanwhile, we hardly went out, and he never bought anything for me. He said he couldn't afford to see two women at the same time. I started posting personal ads that included the reason why I broke up with my ex. He e-mailed me saying stop talking about it to everyone. I have the right to say and do as I please (within reason). He didn't want me to be so negative, but I couldn't help it. I hung on to him despite his lying and last month...I got tired of his games and ended the relationship. Was I justified in being negative towards him? Was I justified in leaving him? I still have some feelings for him, but I know it would be wrong to get involved with him again.
SoleMate Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Was I justified in leaving him? Sure. Your choice, and many would have made the same. I started posting personal ads that included the reason why I broke up with my ex...Was I justified in being negative towards him? Hmmm. Tougher question. I don't approve of exposing personal details about a relationship in a public way unless there is an extreme reason for it. Just having a r/s go bad doesn't qualify. If you were using his full name or identifying factors, then he does have a right to protest, IMO. But if you are just anonymously telling your story and he "happens" to come across it, BFD.
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