Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I am beginning to get worried that my girlfriend is getting bored of me. She was so excited a few months ago and did everything and anything to spend time with me, now I seem like a lower priority. We don't get many opportunities to be together because we live over 100 miles apart, and it seems like I would do anything to go see her, but I am not getting the same in return. I am absolutely nuts about her and she tell me she is me, but I am not feeling it from her. She tells me all the time how she could spend the rest of her life with me, and we are "all over each other" when we are together, so it doesn't quite make sense. I think part of the problem is that I try really hard all the time, telling her wonderful things about herself and always chasing her to get her time. I realize I need to quit doing that and start acting more reserved, like quit chasing. The other thing is, I go out partying a lot and while I haven't cheated on her, I have a lot of other girls that are interested in me. Is it good or bad for her to know she has competition? What else can I do to reignite her interest? I really love her, but I don't want to be 2nd priority in her life. I tried to split up with her over this and she went absolutely nuts, said she was very hurt, etc. and didn't understand that she leads a very busy life (she has a little boy who requires a lot special attention) and she works very hard and long hours. So I went back and now again I feel like 2nd or 3rd priority in her life. However, in the beginning she would put me over things, sometimes slightly inapropriately (which was bad, but nice if you understand). Should I move on? Should I back off, and not act so interested or should I try to fan the fires in her heart? and what about letting her know about the competition?
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I realize I need to quit doing that and start acting more reserved, like quit chasing. then start doing it. it works wonders...you'll see. Is it good or bad for her to know she has competition? its very good....no one wants to eat at a restaurant with no cars in the parking lot. What else can I do to reignite her interest? I really love her, but I don't want to be 2nd priority in her life. don't treat her so good any more and be a mystery and don't be too predictable...
gfto Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 we live over 100 miles apart. Big problem. I think part of the problem is that I try really hard all the time, telling her wonderful things about herself and always chasing her to get her time. Yes, another big problem. Let her chase you for a change. Too many compliments will turn her off. Is it good or bad for her to know she has competition? It's good if she suspects it. What else can I do to reignite her interest? Normally, you could simply withdraw a little bit and let her come at you, but you're already 100 miles apart, so that's gonna be difficult. Should I move on? Unless one of you is planning on moving, I'd find someone within 30 miles. Should I back off, and not act so interested or should I try to fan the fires in her heart? back off a little and what about letting her know about the competition? No. You want her to think that women like you and that you could always get a girlfriend, but you don't tell her she has competition. Because of the geographical distance, you've got an uphill battle.
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 okay sounds like a plan!!! It seems to make sense. I am wondering though how I tell her about the competition. So for example, I went out to my favorite bar on Friday and ended up hanging out with four beautiful girls. My buddy was with me too, but didn't say too much and they really were very focused on me, which felt really great. They were all so cool and sexy and were buying me rounds by the end of the night (imagine that!) - I had them all laughing all night long and it was great. I got their details, not that I wanted to cheat or would ever go there but with things shaky between me and her you can't blame me for at least keeping such friends in my cell phone and if nothing else I made some new friends that I am sure I would hang out with again. So how do I tell her? She will ask me "so how was friday" and she always asks if "I met any girls" Should I be like all casual "yeah I chatted with these four gorgeous girls all night we had a blast ... but obviously I wasn't interested because of you" Should I tell her that I got their numbers? Like, perhaps
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Because of the geographical distance, you've got an uphill battle. it can also be used to his advantage GFTO.
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Well we have talked about the distance thing quite a bit obviously - I could get a much higher paid job working in the Chicago which is a lot nearer to her. But I am not sure if I want to move yet, I like where I live, but there are advantages to moving besides her, if I felt more concrete about her being into me it would be enough combined to make me want to move. I could eliminate the distance issue this way and get a better job. Big problem. Yes, another big problem. Let her chase you for a change. Too many compliments will turn her off. It's good if she suspects it. Normally, you could simply withdraw a little bit and let her come at you, but you're already 100 miles apart, so that's gonna be difficult. Unless one of you is planning on moving, I'd find someone within 30 miles. back off a little No. You want her to think that women like you and that you could always get a girlfriend, but you don't tell her she has competition. Because of the geographical distance, you've got an uphill battle.
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 it can also be used to his advantage GFTO. How could it be used to my advantage? I have one more question too? She is a smoker, I really hate that, should I try to get her to stop?
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I am wondering though how I tell her about the competition. by calling her and seeing her less often she'll naturally assume you're chillin' with other chicks. you should date these other beautifuly women and let some mutual friend see you out with them. the mutual friend will most likely tell her about it. since youre such a stud we cannot let your attributes go to waste. you should "spread the wealth" when it comes to women. the more chicks you have the more you'll get... How could it be used to my advantage? because...if you're 100 miles away you can screw other chicks and not get busted (or get busted if you want to) I have one more question too? She is a smoker, I really hate that, should I try to get her to stop? sorry thats another thread man
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Yes, but how do I approach her about what happened on Friday? I don't want her to feel too jelous, but she should know that I have options right?
Pyro Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 by calling her and seeing her less often she'll naturally assume you're chillin' with other chicks. you should date these other beautifuly women and let some mutual friend see you out with them. the mutual friend will most likely tell her about it. since youre such a stud we cannot let your attributes go to waste. you should "spread the wealth" when it comes to women. the more chicks you have the more you'll get... Do you honestly believe that all women think like that? Guest, if you want your relationship to come to a sudden halt, then follow this advice above. If you feel that she may be getting bored, then talk to her. Ask her what she finds exciting in life. Try some new things, some new activites. Be spontaneous. Girls and guys tend to like that type of stuff.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Do you honestly believe that all women think like that? when i was 24 i did not...but now I do.
westernxer Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Yes, but how do I approach her about what happened on Friday? Don't. I don't want her to feel too jelous, but she should know that I have options right? Jealousy will bring her out to see you.
Pyro Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 when i was 24 i did not...but now I do. So you are saying that all woman are insecure about their S.O.s? Not all woman are insecure like you always say. Gosh, I could never live with myself if I ever become anywhere near as bitter about woman as you are.
BareGoddess Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 So you are saying that all woman are insecure about their S.O.s? Not all woman are insecure like you always say. Gosh, I could never live with myself if I ever become anywhere near as bitter about woman as you are. You won't. Those who grow bitter are the ones who don't have women flocking to them. You don't sound like you're in that category. To the OP. I would not try to make her jealous. It will backfire on you. But yes, I might pull back a little if you feel all the attention is one-sided.
Pyro Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 You won't. Those who grow bitter are the ones who don't have women flocking to them. You don't sound like you're in that category. To the OP. I would not try to make her jealous. It will backfire on you. But yes, I might pull back a little if you feel all the attention is one-sided. Not at all. I have had bad experiences with woman. I have had my heart broken, I have been cheated on. That about qualifies me to become bitter toward women, but I am not. There are plenty of fish in the sea and they are all different. Just because one or two may act the same way doesn't mean that they are all that way. I love the companionship and being bitter toward women will not benefit me in the least bit. I agree with the second statement. Childish games will get you no where in a relationship.
Walk Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I'd like to know what the OP's idea of not much attention is? Who or what is she making you "2nd" to? Her little boy? Her job? If she's not calling cause she's watching tv, then fine play games back... but if she's trying to raise a child and work and can't spend 24/7 talking to you, then grow up. Only time I ever had a guy tell me he got the phone number of another woman (who was obviously more then platonic) I dumped him. You're either in a relationship, or your out. Stop riding the fence.
alphamale Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 Not all woman are insecure like you always say. everyone has insecurities to some degree RIDDLER. and they usually get stronger as you age. You haven't had enough experience to figure that out yet. But you will, trust me.
Pyro Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 everyone has insecurities to some degree RIDDLER. and they usually get stronger as you age. You haven't had enough experience to figure that out yet. But you will, trust me. I know that we all have insecurities. You seem to believe that if he doesn't call her, she will think that he is hanging out with other women. My point is that not all women are insecure like this. I do find that hard to believe that insecurities get stronger as you age. Besides your own personal experiences, what proof do you have of that?
alphamale Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I do find that hard to believe that insecurities get stronger as you age. Besides your own personal experiences, what proof do you have of that? one perfect example is aging and death. how many 25 yrs olds think of that seriously? how many 60 yr olds think of it seriously? i will leave you to figure out the rest young man...
Pyro Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 one perfect example is aging and death. how many 25 yrs olds think of that seriously? how many 60 yr olds think of it seriously? i will leave you to figure out the rest young man... I wouldn't call death an insecurity. Death is something that none of us can avoid. It is a part of life. Same goes for aging. I am sure that some will agree and disagree on it but that is my take, and no my age has nothing to do with my decision. This is how I perceive age and death.
JCD Posted July 4, 2006 Posted July 4, 2006 I just went thru a relationship filled with mind games and I'm glad to be out of it. I pulled the jealousy card couple of times and it's nice and all at first but she just got more weird and more emotionally unbalanced. Plus I felt like a jerk for hurting her so I went with the flow instead. I mean if you want drama in your relationship then go with mind games. If you are unhappy and by the sound of it you are then I would quit this girl and go out with others that don't have kids and aren't so busy with their lives. I think it is a better fit for you because you seem like you are giving it all and many other girls would appreciate it more than this girl.
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