Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Hi, I am new to this but have been reading some of the threads and this seems like a good site to get some advice and I could certainly use some. My boyfriend who I have been dating for 3 years recently kinda just dissappeared after a discussion of moving in together, he has always said in the past that he could see us together and that he saw a future with me. Now I brought this up just asking what his toughts were about it and he seem "freaked out" and said it was scary and what if it doesn't work out? I said that I was scared too but I knew that I wanted to be with him and if you don't take a risk, you'll never know. Anyway, long story short, he said he needed to think about what he wanted, well he knew what he wanted he just didn't know how to get there. He said your right after 3 years it's something to sit down and think about, he said he loves me but he doesn't know if he can be around someone that much but can see us living together? HUH, what does that mean. Anyway, that was like 3 1/2 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since and I didn't know that we were not speaking. I did call and leave a message asking to let me know he was okay and that it wasn't fair to just leave me in a state of worry. He left a message stating that he was okay physically but he wasn't sure where he was mentally and sorry for worrying me! I don't understand, I really don't and I am not quite sure what to think other than he has no respect for me whatsoever.. Does anyone have any opinions on this? Any insight would be much appreciated.
Violet87 Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. From reading your message, for him to drop all contact with you like that for over 3 weeks, he doesn't seem all that interested in moving in. I wouldn't give up completely just yet, instead if I were you I would call and have a heart to heart conversation with him. Ask him how he feels, does he really want to move in or not, does he still want to continue with the relationship. He may just have cold feet. Let him know how you feel as well.
lovernotafighter Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 woah...I'm very sorry to hear this..after 3 and a half years he should have the courage and decency to tell you how he feels even if it isn't something he feels you want to hear. I would defiantly feel disrespected,I can't imagine how he can do this to you,I'm very sorry.
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. From reading your message, for him to drop all contact with you like that for over 3 weeks, he doesn't seem all that interested in moving in. I wouldn't give up completely just yet, instead if I were you I would call and have a heart to heart conversation with him. Ask him how he feels, does he really want to move in or not, does he still want to continue with the relationship. He may just have cold feet. Let him know how you feel as well. I did try to call him twice a couple of weeks ago and he doesn't answer and doesn't return the calls, except the once when he left the message stating that physically he was okay but he didn't know how he was mentally. I just don't feel the need to keep calling him, he knows how I feel about him. I let him know that all he has to do is communicate with me and let me know what's going on and I don't think leaving me a message saying I don't know how I am mentally sorry, is communicating. I just don't know what to think. I would never just up and dissappear on someone. If he needed time and space to think, don't you think he should have at least said that? Why would someone who loves you treat you in such a manner? If he's saying he doesn't know if he can be around someone that much, what the heck are you doing in committed relationship with someone? Arrrrghhh, I am so angry right now.
Guest Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 woah...I'm very sorry to hear this..after 3 and a half years he should have the courage and decency to tell you how he feels even if it isn't something he feels you want to hear. I would defiantly feel disrespected,I can't imagine how he can do this to you,I'm very sorry. I feel left in a state of confusion!!!!!!!!! In the dark !!! I did leave a message saying that I am glad that he is okay ( well physically) and that I was not sure what was going on but if he needed to talk or for me just to listen that I am here. I feel weird doing that, why am I being nice ? I realize that sometimes people need some space to figure out what it is that they want but maybe this is his way of saying adios? Has anyone ever experienced this before?
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