Guest Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 Hi all by ex grlfrd seems to only contact me for one reason. To ask me for stuff? I mean, really... This is not stuff she even owns or bought or anything. She asked for my bed because she was have money troubles and can't afford it. "Why should she suffer if the relationship changed" I have been in NC for 4 weeks now and broke off all communication after the last time she asked for stuff. Any thoughts? My gut says "Manipulation" my heart says giver her the bed. Help!
Diver012 Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 The relationship is over. Tell her to get her own freakin bed. Sounds to me like shes trying to use you. Dont let her. Personally, I would have laughed and hung up on her
tearful_soul22 Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 wow..the nerve of that woman! such boldness in asking you for stuff let alone a bed, geez. try to maintain nc and let that tard get her own darn bed! and i bet she's gonna try the pity party next on you just so you'll give in to her demands. don't let her..........be strong!
riobikini Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I was smiling as I read your thread, -partly from the irony of your gf leaving your bed, only to want it back -but without you in it- and totally because I identify with your situation which is so familiar to me from past experiences. I am a 'softy', too, -always giving away something, knowing that little or nothing will ever be returned. And unscrupulous people recognize and attept to take advantage of that right away. I have learned, over the years, to guard many things a little more carefully; things that are irreplaceable, or more important to me, -my lifestyle, and my wellbeing. Still, I am a born 'giver' and the temptation to make someone else comfortable, meet their needs, satisfy their wants, and keep them happy is a (sometimes) burdensome quality to possess. Your gf obviously feels no shame in asking for what is not hers, nor does she seem to possess any recognition of the etiquette of breaking up in regards to possessions. Don't worry about her lack of a bed. She appears to be a self-sufficient little scrape, and will likely wind up mooching from someone else, and have no trouble finding a bed, (Smile) -so I wouldn't strive too much with the temptation to give her something that she is neither capable of having true appreciation for (because she did not work to own it), nor of having any true respect and appreciation for you, her lovely and generous provider. Keep your bed. And someday, you'll sleep well in it, knowing you did the right thing. (Smile) Take care. -Rio
neiu Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 LOL Tell her to screw off. Come on now, you were really thinking of giving your own bed away to someone who doesn't care about you? Obvisouly you're not thinking in any way. Leave it, there's no sense of talking. You really think giving your bed will fix your relationship? Don't be dumb, she'll just keep taking from you, just end it now or not even answer her. Used and abused, frankly i wouldn't want to be like that.
jerbear Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 I have always have this view. I am a giver (and takeHer ) many times. I am willing to share my life, my stuff, me, my bed, and future. I am even willing to let things go, those that I can replace especially tangible stuff. As Rio said, I have always enjoyed her posts, some things can be given or taken and some can not. However, I would not give something that is not rightfully hers. If she paid for it 100%, then by all means give it back. If it is paid with joint monies, then buy out her portion. If it is yours, say no because it is rightfully yours. She has no right to let alone take, especially when you two are not together. The other view I have is get rid of the bed when the time comes as some memories are best left in the past. If you want to dispose of the bed, then dispose of it, or relegate it to a lesser part of life like a guest bedroom set. You can also tell her she can have it BUT get it before 8am (trash day)
westernxer Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 My gut says "Manipulation" Then listen to it, for crying out loud. She made her bed and will have to sleep in it. Too bad it won't be yours.
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