An emotional affair?

[umomar]

Ok, here is the story. I have been with my h for 12 years, married for 9. We have 4 kids. The youngest is 4 1/2 months old. Well, a few days ago I found out that during the 3 business trips he went on since our son was 2 weeks old, he has been calling another girl and talking for hours to her. I found her number on his phone a long time ago and questioned him, he said they had business together and it was nothing. Well, I find her number on his phone after that and also text sms on his phone. I confronted him, screamed and cried and said I do not want him to talk to her or her call him. He turned off his phone about 3 weeks ago and said he never talked to her after that. Well, I found out how much he was talking to her while away and I went crazy. I asked him what the hell and he said they are just friends, they don't talk about anything in particular and he was bored so he called her. I said he should be calling me, not her. He lied and hid this from me for 4 months. He said he knew I would freak out if I knew he talked to her, so I said you should not have been doing it!! He said it is not cheating because he didn't touch her or sleep with her, which I know that he didn't. I called her and asked her why she is calling him all the time, she said that my H is friends with her bf and she just wanted his advice and she is sorry and that he loves me and I should not worry. She also said that she only called him 1 time about her bf and it was a mistake and she will never call him again. My problem is.. is this an emotional affair? I think it is. He was not staying home alot, and I found out about the calls while he was away, only god knows how much he talked to her here. He said he was going through a phase and he knows he made a mistake. I cheated on him 10 years ago by kissing someone else and he is saying that what I did is worse. I said we were not married with children!! I was 20 and stupid. He said he got over it so I have to get over it and he doesn't want to talk about it, I ask him questions and he gets mad and says he doesn't want to hear the same thing over and over. I can't stop thinking about it. Our baby was 2 weeks old the first time he travelled and called her. He talked to her for 3 hours while in another country. He called her late at night. How can I believe that he was only talking about her problems with her bf? What would anyone else think if they were me? He says I am over reacting because he never touched her and she is just his friend. What married man talks to a woman behind his w's back if they are just friends? How can I get over this? What sould I do? He basically says I did something to him and he forgave me and this is something stupid and should not break up our marriage. Please help.