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Golf obsession and other oddities...


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Posted

Well, to give some quick background...

 

I'm 24, and my boyfriend is 23. I'm a single mother, he's a college student still living at home for financial convienience. No big deal, I think he's the luckiest bastard on earth. :) I moved out at 19, struggled through school, and here I am today.

 

However, his parents are overly controlling and dare I say, neurotic. The man has a 1:30am curfew and isn't allowed to spend the night at my place. Also, the dad doesn't think I'm worthy of the son and spent at least 6 weeks telling my boyfriend, 2 or 3 times per week, why he didn't think we should be together. Very rude stuff, said he didn't think I would "make it" in life, questioned my motives, insinuated I was "Daddy Shopping", and so on. At one point, they had him convinced that he needed to dump me. He came over and tried, I reversed the situation with pure logic, then a week later the stress became so bad that he did dump me. We spent a month apart before he came back, begging for forgiveness and a second try.

 

I'm dumb, I say yes, I love the guy and figure I'm not dating his parents. He vows to stand up for himself and demand fair treatment. (It's been nearly a month and he still hasn't figured out how to tell them that he came after me). If you can guess, this hasn't happened either. Still a curfew, still the yelling and verbal berating when he stays out until 2 or 3am.

 

But that's not really the icing on the cake for me, I suppose. I could ignore that problem after a while here. As soon as they know I exist again, I'll breathe a little easier and not feel like I'm sneaking around or in high school again. So much drama. :p

 

My real question : how much golf is too much golf? The guy has a serious... passion... for it. He's currently working maintenence on a golf course and plays on the driving range at least 3 times a week for a couple hours a shot, then plays 18 holes 2 or 3 times a week as well, if not more. Before the temporary separation, he was on the golf team at his college and I had several incidents where I would ask him to come over on a Friday in the afternoon (when I had a half day or something at work) because he said "practice is optional today", but he would end up going alone anyway and dash any plans I had tentatively made.

 

He constantly talks about golf, though he's well aware that I have no idea what he's talking about, and he even knows that after about 5-10 minutes of a golf shot story I start zoning out. Despite this, I still spent 40 minutes Friday evening listening to him talk nonstop about golf and golf courses he's been to,etc. I'm a nice girlfriend, I go to the golf shops and look at clubs and wistfully ponder if I'm ever going to get a proposal when he spends all of his extra cash on putters and drivers that cost more than any baubles I ever buy, but where the heck is the line supposed to be?

 

Now he swears up and down that he's madly in love with me, and I really believe him most of the time, but I wonder if this golf thing alone is going to drive me mad. He wakes up at 5:30am to go to work, plays golf til 6pm, then is too tired to do anything else, but this doesn't seem to register. I used to find this golf thing very cute, I still even like watching him play when I'm 'allowed', but it seems overboard to me... and quite expensive to boot for a college student who works lower paying jobs in the meantime. :p

 

Is it worth calling it quits over? Or should I just confront him and demand a day of the week to call our own, no golf, no parents? :p

 

Opinions very welcome, thank you for reading my vent if you made it this far. :)

 

Liz

Posted

Ohhhh lordy! Please tell me you're kidding! A guy who can't stand up to mommy and daddy and accepts having his life run by them at 23 AND is golf-obsessed? RUN AWAY from this guy before you fall for him. He is not long-term material in any way, shape, or form.

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