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Posted

Hello,

 

I need to get my story out there and see what feedback it generates. Here we go...

 

Last year I met Johnny on his birthday at a local bar. He was sweet and cute and I loved his smile. He wound up moving into my place within the first month of knowing each other. This was OK with me because I would rather know ASAP if I can live with someone else rather than spending a few years together to find out that you CAN NOT live with that person. Than What? So From June to Thanksgiving everything was amazing. I loved the way he looked at me. We were intense. I told him I loved him after a few cocktails while in Florida for a vacation in October. I got NO response. We eventually talked about my confession and he said the whole "I love U but not In love with U" bit. I have hope and stuck through the relationship patiently waiting.

I'm gonna tell you all about the gift giving idiot I am before getting to the ugly stuff, so bear with me ~ Now he had some bad luck with his car in September, I bought him the Razor Phone as a gift to cheer him up. It worked. I then bought him tickets to see his favorite hockey team who he has never seen live (2 times both in January). And than the grand finale was in May (his B-day) I got him WAY overpriced tickets to see a favorite band of ours front row center! As well as a 30 gig Ipod and a Strawberry ice cream cake from Cold Stone. That was a sick gift if you ask me.

So now I'm gonna go back a little~

In December I asked him if he talks with his ex still (I was suspicious). He said yes that they are great friends. I think its wonderful to be on good terms with an ex, I admire it! BUT he would get a little defensive if I kept asking questions. I wanted to meet her, have her over for dinner so I can establish some trust with this uneasy situation. He said no, that it's his friend for himself. It' s gonna get dark here soon. Basically, after he said that is when I became detective lonely_me. I would find the phone bills and emails that were about planning to meet up. Now we were sharing my car and I TRULY fellt he was not gonna tell me about going to see her. I waited for him to be honest and than I snapped and we had our first ugly fight (January) we amazingly worked through it and continued our relationship. But over time I'd be investigatiing again. And it seems as if there talks became more frequent. One of the first things I told him in the begining was "DON'T LIE TO ME!" and everything will be fine. BUT he chose to say that they are friends yada yada. In January I decide to call he to introduce myself and shine some light on unwanted darkness. She seemed cool and we seemed to have an understanding of my call, because it doesn't look right. She then continued to call him and say "WTF!" blah blah blah. And now I'm the crazy one! She NEVER called the house for him or attempted to help ease my uneasy feelings. That was the last time I contacted her since last month when I emailed her because I was dumped and his emails revealed his plan to move to Seattle where she is. AAAWWWW!!!!

I never cursed in the letter or threatened her in any way. I basically was making her aware of ALL the financial burden he is dumping on me as he dumps me. For example, my truck that we have been sharing (a $40,000 vehicle) has $3000 of damages that he did. We signed a year lease in December when we moved into a house that was cheaper than the other one. Which he has only paid his half twice since then. And money that I have lent him all these things that I have done with the hopes and trust that he would do right by me. She told him about my email and said if I contact her again shes filing a restraining order!!! OMG!

 

Now he dumped me 2 days after his birthday because I started a fight when I asked why she (his ex) sent him a Valentines card (with a pic of his dog and on the back it said: to my first daughter whom I'll love forever. love, mommy) and no Birthday Card!!! She seems to be playing games with me. SO we breakup BUT he continues to live here and not pay. I can not deal everyday and I've been so depressed the past month begging for him to leave so I can begin to heal. My birthday rolls around on the 17th of June and I spent the day ALONE! Granted him and all my friends had to work. BUT when he came home for a break he was empty handed. No card, No present, No CAKE! I thought he would make it up that week. NO instead he comes home with new parts for his car and new clothes. And wouldn't simply spend time with me at all. I was alone that whole week pretty much until that Friday when he decided to NOT come home at all until Sunday! I had packed his things and placed them outside with a note that said: CONSIDER THIS BRIDGE DISINTEGRATED! After many ugly words being screamed and a little wrestle he was gone. He is in Seattle and I miss him terribly. I want to hurt that girl because she knew what she was doing! It ANGERS me that he left to go be with someone and I'm alone! I go out of my way to help and comfort my friends (lovers or not). This is truly the worst pain I have ever felt. And I can't let go of hope that he'll come back realizing what a JERK he was to me! No calls, No apology, NADA. Just me and my dogs and thank god for people that come and check on me. This evil needs to STOP and people need to start talking more!!! If you think a person is moving to fast SAY SOMETHING!!! My heart is mutilated! And I can't erase the beautiful memories we once had. I want to repeat them everyday! I'm lost... and i needed to let that out. If your still reading and would like to know about the events that took place in the middle of his b-day and mine, let me know... You will think I'm making it up! LOL (as I cry). I know IF he came back I shouldn't take him but I think I would and that kills me too! Let me know your thoughts!:sick:

Posted

Holy crap.You sure landed a bad one. I really feel sorry for you. You ask what I would do... Well, I'd start by patting myself on the back for making the right decision: kick him out! Now you can start the healing process. It will take time! But resist the urge to get revenge or contact him to vent. It will just prolong your recovery.

Posted

Aw sweetie. Sorry to hear you had to go through this experience. There are a few things I hope you can keep in mind during your healing.

 

1) they deserve each other. Neither was respectful to you. Do you really think they'll be respectful to each other?

 

2) It didn't work for them the first time. She competed with you to get him back. Do you really think it'll work this time?

 

3) He USED you. He's not a catch. He's an asswipe. Forget him. Next time, don't try to buy a guy's affection. Make him earn yours.

 

When people behave with this kind of shadiness, they aren't exactly promoting good energy in their lives so I wouldn't be worried that they'll live happily ever after. But the good news is that they'll be taking it out on each other and not exploiting anyone else. you're now free to go find someone who's going to be worthwhile in a relationship, i.e. not a freakin mooch. Had there been no ex, I believe you would have really gotten sick of his mooching anyway. He did you a huge favor.

 

And to answer your question, what I would do is honestly neve speak to the loser again and move on as quickly as possible. To allow that kind of garbage to have a long term negative affect on my emotions would be a tragedy.

Posted

Yea, he's USING you, he doesnt deserve your love and affection, and you can't buy affection either, let them EARN it, I didnt really know that a lot of these guys existed(ur ex), ones that uses their gfs for money, Im a guy and for once, actually am apalled by this, with my ex I did everything, and I wasnt buying her affection, just being a gentlemen, go out and find yourself a nice guy, a gentlemen, he doesnt deserve you, forget the loser.

Posted

He wound up moving into my place within the first month of knowing each other. This was OK with me because I would rather know ASAP if I can live with someone else rather than spending a few years together to find out that you CAN NOT live with that person. T:

Big mistake. You should get to know someone before letting them into your home let alone living with them. You didn't allow enough time to get to know him. This is very dangerous! Please never do this again.:(

 

So From June to Thanksgiving everything was amazing. I loved the way he looked at me. We were intense. I told him I loved him after a few cocktails while in Florida for a vacation in October. I got NO response. We eventually talked about my confession and he said the whole "I love U but not In love with U" bit. I have hope and stuck through the relationship patiently waiting.:

 

Red flag here! If he wasn't in love with you, why was he "with you" or living with you? Another reason that you shouldn't move so fast. Did he look at you as a roomate or a girlfriend? You were waiting in vain. :(

 

 

I'm gonna tell you all about the gift giving idiot I am before getting to the ugly stuff, so bear with me ~ Now he had some bad luck with his car in September, I bought him the Razor Phone as a gift to cheer him up. It worked. I then bought him tickets to see his favorite hockey team who he has never seen live (2 times both in January). And than the grand finale was in May (his B-day) I got him WAY overpriced tickets to see a favorite band of ours front row center! As well as a 30 gig Ipod and a Strawberry ice cream cake from Cold Stone. That was a sick gift if you ask me. .:

 

He sounds like a gigolo to me. You can't buy love hun. I know that you looked at it as a kind gesture. He was taking advantage of your pockets. :(

 

 

In December I asked him if he talks with his ex still (I was suspicious). He said yes that they are great friends. I think its wonderful to be on good terms with an ex, I admire it! BUT he would get a little defensive if I kept asking questions. .:

 

It's clear what's happening here. He is clearly using you. I agree it may not be a necessary problem to be on good terms with an ex, but I don't think he recognized you and he as a relationship. :( In the future, your BF should always respect your feelings about him and a ex.

 

She seemed cool and we seemed to have an understanding of my call, because it doesn't look right. She then continued to call him and say "WTF!" blah blah blah. And now I'm the crazy one! She NEVER called the house for him or attempted to help ease my uneasy feelings. That was the last time I contacted her since last month when I emailed her because I was dumped and his emails revealed his plan to move to Seattle where she is. AAAWWWW!!!!

I never cursed in the letter or threatened her in any way. I basically was making her aware of ALL the financial burden he is dumping on me as he dumps me. For example, my truck that we have been sharing (a $40,000 vehicle) has $3000 of damages that he did. We signed a year lease in December when we moved into a house that was cheaper than the other one. Which he has only paid his half twice since then. And money that I have lent him all these things that I have done with the hopes and trust that he would do right by me. She told him about my email and said if I contact her again shes filing a restraining order!!! OMG! .:

 

This was a big NO NO on your part. You should not contact her concerning issues with him. It does make you seem pretty psycho. You have to remember that her loyalties are to him and you appear as an outsider. She owes you nothing and you should not harrass her about him.

 

I'm very sorry that all of this happened and hope that you learn from this and make better choices next time. Please take regard toward your part in all of this as you are the only person you can change. It's a great characteristic to be generous and thoughtful, but always remember that there are guys out there willing to play on your generosity and take you for granted.

 

Also, be sure where you stand with a man before assuming there is an actual relationship. If someone tells you from the start that they don't feel the way you feel then consider that. Don't wait around in hopes that they may change. If you move so fast you are let down when things don't progress the way you expected. Take time to know a guy before making huge steps.

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