Cecilia84 Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Hi everyone, If anyone has some sensible advice then please post back ASAP! I am nearly 22 and have never had a boyfriend. I think there is a combination of reasons why. My parents had a very troubled and violent relationship so I never saw a good relationship between them when I was growing up. Also I was not allowed to date at all during high school, plus I attended an all-girls' college which didn't make things easy. But that doesn't mean I have tried dating people! My friends tell me that I am attractive and intelligent and that many boys would love to go out with me. I even took the plunge and asked one out that I was really attracted to but he broke my heart when at first he said yes then backpeddled! There is a boy who I went to primary school with and haven't seen for about four years (we live in different cities) that I am about to catch up with in a couple of weeks. Four years ago I thought he was really interested in me, we had a great time together but he never made a move. As far as I am aware he is still with a girlfriend and I am certainly not expecting him to ditch her.....but in the back of my mind I would like something to happen. Does this make me crazy? Please tell me how I should approach this!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 You are not crazy but you won't win any brownie points if you start going after men who are taken. In this particular case, if he's interested let HIM make a move. Then tell him you would be interested if he didn't have a girlfriend. No matter how dateless you have been, don't shed your ethics and manners to get some guy. It sounds like you may have some subconscious blocks to getting a boyfriend...most likely enstilled as a result of what happened to you early on and growing up. We put out signals to people they really do pick up. You likely have fears about relationships based on the interactions of your parents. I would suggest you working with a therapist to get through the childhood stuff and identify the blocks that come between you and love. Once you have done that and have fully forgiven your past and the people who contributed to where you are now, you'll probably have men lined up around the block to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 My advice: don't marry the first guy you fall in love with just cuz it's the age when girls can get married. You need experience in love. You need to experience more than one man to see what the love market offers. I thought my first boyfriend was great and wasted 6 years on him (even said "yes" when he proposed to me), but he was the very wrong one for me. Secondly, you said this guy broke your heart. You're a virgin not only... you know where... but also in your heart and mind. You don't know anything about men and relationships. You need to date different men and get a little tougher. Once you grow a thicker skin, guys won't be able to break your heart just because they said "no" once. There will be men who will hurt you, use you for sex, dump you, cheat on you... but it's a beautiful experience because you get to realize what you DON'T want in your life; thus more easily find the kind of person that suits you best. Experience, time, and faith that you will find the right guy should be the key words in your love dictionary... Good luck! P.S. You sound like a modest girl, so I will be brave enough to assume that you probably need a little work on your style and image (make-up, outfit, hair, etc.)... so don't neglect that part. We all like things that are wrapped up in a shiny and colorful paper! P.S.S. I think Tony also gave you a good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts