Author Diver012 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Posted July 6, 2006 I cry and feel the pain in my chest. Then I get angry - even though it's for the best, you sort of mourn what "could have been." Weeks ago, I felt like nothing would make me feel better. But, you know what? I have a daughter who is 15. I am so lucky to have her and her friends to keep me busy. Then, I ran into an old friend who took me and my daughter out for sushi and made us feel sooo special. Don't sit there on the weekends by yourself! Go to the movies, surf the internet, read a book, take a walk, buy flowers for your apartment, rent a movie, treat yourself to a spa or a luxurious bath and have a glass of wine and a nice meal! Most importantly, be spontaneous, you never know what will come your way. Look at how I ran into a friend who took us out for a special dinner when I needed it most! Trust in God - pray and have faith - then you'll be happy again. Most importantly, LAUGH! I do all those things you speak of. I think the biggest joy I get right now is coming here and helping other people. I love to interact with people. I also Pray and trust in Gods will. I try to pray every day for him to help me lead a better life, and to also understand his will... and believe it or not, I pray for my Ex's happiness as well. A friend of mine sudgested that to me, and it does seem to help.
Guest_777 Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I do all those things you speak of. I think the biggest joy I get right now is coming here and helping other people. I love to interact with people. I also Pray and trust in Gods will. I try to pray every day for him to help me lead a better life, and to also understand his will... and believe it or not, I pray for my Ex's happiness as well. A friend of mine sudgested that to me, and it does seem to help. Diver, If you are a believer keep this in mind. The season that you are going thru now is for a purpose. You may not fully realize this until later. But you WILL realize: you are being prepared for something. Remember this post when it happens. And most of all, thank Him for His provisions. Until then ... keep on the right path. I remember back on some of my darkest hours in life. I remember thinking this is it ... I've actually hit rock bottom. God is nowhere to be found. I will be stuck in this rut forever. But you know what? I wasn't stuck there. It was only a season. And it WAS for a reason. Those very dark hours were preparing me for His grand plan. Looking back, I can see that if I hadn't been through the dark months, I would not been enjoying the blessings that I have today. It is for a reason. When you reach the other side, don't forget about this post.
Author Diver012 Posted July 6, 2006 Author Posted July 6, 2006 Diver, If you are a believer keep this in mind. The season that you are going thru now is for a purpose. You may not fully realize this until later. But you WILL realize: you are being prepared for something. Remember this post when it happens. And most of all, thank Him for His provisions. Until then ... keep on the right path. I remember back on some of my darkest hours in life. I remember thinking this is it ... I've actually hit rock bottom. God is nowhere to be found. I will be stuck in this rut forever. But you know what? I wasn't stuck there. It was only a season. And it WAS for a reason. Those very dark hours were preparing me for His grand plan. Looking back, I can see that if I hadn't been through the dark months, I would not been enjoying the blessings that I have today. It is for a reason. When you reach the other side, don't forget about this post. I wont forget... and to be honest, this does feel like one of the darkest periods in my life... I havent prayed like this since before I can remember. Now I pray every day.
bonny doon Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 diver thanks so much for starting this thread ... did you move to north carolina from the bay area? i've lived in both places ... anyway, i posted this post in self-improvement but now i see that this post would be more applicable to this thread ... I've been on LS under a different username for a long time ... i've been single for a little while now and i'm starting to get very lonely, it comes and goes, but it's strange how it's hard transitioning to single phase. getting used to zero or very little physical affection (i don't count hugs between me & my girlfriends) and no one really to talk to on a daily or every other day basis like you do with people you are dating. i also have a lot of other stuff going on with my life (multiple activities and interests, pursuits, hobbies, sports, on top of work and general "life" stuff like paying the car insurance, etc.) ... it causes me almost daily anxiety attacks where my heart is pounding so hard i can't hear anything but the blood in my cranium. i've considered antidepressants or lower-blood pressure drugs, but haven't done anything yet. my friend who is more of a homebody (not like me) says that i'm doing too much, i'm overextending myself to the point where i get these anxiety attacks that are coupled with insomnia (worst demon of mine, i've become anxious about getting enough sleep and that adds to my insomnia and anxiety). anyway, since i'm so active i wouldn't consider myself clinically depressed (i'm still doing ten billion things every day) but i would consider myself to be moody and depressed in general. like it IS hard to get out of bed in the morning, my mind is racing, i feel so worthless and terrible. once i'm out of bed and on my way it's much better. but at night it's hard to fall asleep. not only am i freaking out about life but i also want someone to hold/cuddle and be romantic with. it's hard feeling lonely. i just moved to a new place and i have some friends, and i meet people when i am out and about, but i guess i'm still lonely lonely lonely. a few weeks ago i was desperate lonely and fortunately it's gotten better. i kind of feel lost too. and a lot of the time i'm bitter about how i think i'm a really cool person, and who wouldn't want to date me? i don't convey this of course to people that i meet, i'm just venting... please someone tell me this is normal and i'm just being frustrated and impatient for no reason. anyway, thanks so much for listening. sometimes i feel so hopeless. i'm so glad other people have similar experiences...
Becoming Posted July 11, 2006 Posted July 11, 2006 I hesitated even clicking on this thread because I've been in a rotten depression for over a year and I was afraid I'd just be feeding the negative spirit. But I'm glad I did. It's obvious that we all feel desperately alone when in actuality we're not. Thanks Guest 777 for your encouraging Word. The way I feel when I'm depressed: like I'm in a deep pit and can't get out, like I'm swimming and swimming and swimming under water where all is murky and I can't surface. Like I'm caught down in the inner circles of some subconscious hell. I don't want to be with anyone even though I'm lonely. I want someone to take care of me. I want to do exactly as I please, which is nothing. I'm tired. I forget to eat and/or overeat trying to get enough energy to make it through the day. I can't concentrate on much. My sleep is erratic. I want to live in my own little fantasy world with no problems to take care of. I could care less about my appearance. I cry a lot. Except that I want out of the pit so desperately that I keep climbing and clawing my way out. I tried just giving in and accepting that this is where I needed to be for awhile until I figured things out. Honestly, that made things worse. I'm angry at the depression. What helps? Not spending too much time alone to be able to obsess about myself. And DRUGS. I'm talking legal prescriptions from a dr. and patience to find the right one. Prayer and spiritual devotions. Disciplined actions despite feelings. Words of encouragement from others I know care about me. Beauty and order in my surroundings.
richardcruz Posted July 12, 2006 Posted July 12, 2006 I feel like no one in this world understands the pain that im going through (this forum has helped that feeling). I feel worthless and shamed that I did so much for her and she did what she did to me I feel betrayed I feel like she left me to die and didn't give a s**t about me. I feel like everyone else is happy except me I feel like I will never get over this I feel like I meant nothing to her I feel so incredibly angry at her. Sometimes to the point where I wish her illwill so she can feel the pain that I feel. I feel like I hate the person that I was because that person did all the wrong things obviously and allowed myself to get hurt so bad. I don't know why I started socially smoking even though I used to vow never to smoke just so I wouldn't remind myself of the same person I once was. (stupid I know). I feel more religous now as I pray to God every morning now to give me strength. I feel like this is the worst thing that I have ever experienced in my adult life. I feel like I have no heart I feel numb I feel I will never trust a single soul with my heart again. I feel like love isn't real and soulmates dont exist. I feel like I will never help another woman the way I helped out my ex I feel like I will never love or trust with the same innocence that I once did. I feel like I still need her
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