Mary3 Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Being honest and up front without being mean is the best way.. that way they understand exactly why you broke up and don't carry a torch for you.. The forums on LS are littered with posts of people seeking closure and explanations because their BF/GF used flimsy excuses instead of the truth during the break up.. while creating a cool excuse to ease the pain may for that exact moment reduce the pain and make the dumper feel better for doing the dumping as soon as night falls the pain will come back onto the dumpee a lot harder than if the dumper was just honest in the first place.. So really.. the excuses created are only created to ease the pain for the dumper. Very well spoken advice
mental_traveller Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 try this one when it comes to break ups: I dated a guy for about 3 weeks. Everything was going great. He called me and complimented me lots. He told me 'we are going to have so much fun this summer together." on a couple different occassions. We had 3 offical dates in that time and they were all great. He told my gfs that he really liked me behind my back. Then one day out of the blue he says. "Your feelings for me are more then mine are and I can't catch up to them. I'm sorry." That was his break it off line; I don't want to see you anymore; your not the one I want to be with line... Granted it was only 3 weeks but still WTF??? Whats with all the compliments, telling my gfs how great I am, treating me like a queen, taking me out in pulic in his small town where people knew him and seen us together. Bringing me to his house, showing me around it, (his parents live in his walk out basement and they were home too) and making all kinds of plans for him and I then POOF??? That was the most confusing dating experience I have ever had... I still don't understand it to this day... O'Well I think it was his loss for being such a idiot.. My gfs was as flabbergasted as I was... That was a year ago.. It's not confusing at all. He simply identified that you wanted a more serious relationship than him, and realised that you were therefore not really compatible. You know, not saying this is your situation, but if one person wants marriage and kids, and the other wants an occasional f***-buddy, then it's not really a good idea for those 2 to be together is it? So this guy probably just saw that you were after different things, and sensibly called it quits early rather than lead you on. As for the compliments etc, chances are he was really into you. But if you're going for different goals than him, then it doesn't matter how attracted he is, it's just not going to work. Be thankful that you met a guy who recognised this instead of a more wishy washy type who would have got more involved only to break off 6 months, 2 years, 10 years later and leave you 100 times as confused.
DyingHeart Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 "I need to do things for myself" "I need some space" "I need to figure myself out" "I'm just don't feel like dating right now" "I still wanna be friends" Men use these lines too. My ex used each one And what a bloody loser he was. ~DH~
juk Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I was strung along with.. "i don't know, i don't know" (i do, you mean no) "i need to find my independence" (that means your mummy and daddy supporting you) "im not a nice person anymore, you can do better" (yep your'e sure right) "who knows what the future will bring" (i know, a better life without you) And the absoulte knife in the gut was... "I feel I out grew you, and you never caught up" thanks for that one it made me feel a million dollars, what an ego that woman has!
suchislife Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I dont' agree with M.T. When someone acts one way and says another - that is fear talking. If it was that they wanted different things - there would not be all those signals. FEAR.
konfuzd Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 My two alltime favorites: 1- "you're too nice" WTF?!? We had only dated for two weeks, of course I was nice, he hadn't pissed me off yet... well, until that statement. As it turned out, he left me for a stripper. Guess she wasn't so nice 2- "Your success makes me feel inadequate" Who knew being a successful, independent woman was a negative? Maybe he should start looking for dates in the welfare line if he wants to be the bread winner! Ha, what a fool!
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