In Sync Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 ...... So, after several failed relationships and finally being able identify where I was going wrong, I think I've realized what needs to be done to be done in order to find somebody that isn't a couple clowns short of a circus. Took me long enough... Thanks for the response. Talk to you later. GW You and me both have done the repetition thing. At first I didn't connect the dots, but as I too began to look at my past relationships...this last relationship was actually just a repeat of the same kind of guy...narcissistic, mean-spirited but a complete charmer at the start. My habit was thinking "oh, I'll change him and convince him that he really loves me..." Then I got stuck in a cycle of why doesn't he care? why did he mistreat me?..and why can't he love me? and the classic line why did this have to happen? FINALLY I get it! It's not them it's me ... it's us who have to break the cycle. When we see that type that we are attracted to come along...RUN like hell and leave them behind, no matter how sweet the package is!
Author GW7147 Posted July 5, 2006 Author Posted July 5, 2006 I now realize where I was going wrong and now have the insight to correct my thought process. I do however, believe my ex has some serious issues as well. I'm convinced she hasn't addressed the issues of her divorce, hasn't given herself anytime to heal and I don't believe she'll be able to be in a healthy, non-destructive relationship until she does. Granted, I shouldn't have been there in the first place but after she loses her 15 year marraige, then jumps into another relationship 1 month after seperating, dates for 5 months, plans to marry the guy, meets me 2 months later, plans to marry me and 2 months after we break up she meets her current boyfriend and plans to marry him, I can't help but think she's damaged goods. Her divorce isn't even finalized yet!! I don't even think she realizes what she's doing. So, yes, I certainly played a role in my own demise but she defintiely was a contributing factor as well. I know I can only control my own actions but even had this been my first time in this type of relationship, she definitely would have done the same thing. Her nw guy can deal with her and her shortcomings now. Thanks again!!
2020vision Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 I know how hard hearing that kind of new is. I found out my ex moved in with his newest "victim" 4 months after we had broken up. And I am sure that if I was still in contact with him, I would hear that they are engaged. She is in fact "damaged goods" (I love that term by the way...haha) But that still does not change the fact that you had feelings for her...Good for you for seeing a counselor, thats one step closer to not ending up in a crappy relationship again. Hang in there and only look forward, to happier days... -2020
Author GW7147 Posted July 5, 2006 Author Posted July 5, 2006 Thanks 20/20, Yeah, I just can't understand how people bounce from one relationship to the next. I've always made it a point to spend some time on my own after a break-up just so I knew I was moving on with a clear head. Moving in with somebody after 4 months is way too fast. So is talking about marriage. My ex really sucked me in though. I feel I now have the knowledge I need to to meet somebody and form a meaningful, genuine relationship (I hope). Sounds like both of our exes are loopy!! We're better off without them!! Take care of yourself and I'm sure We'll run into each other soon! Regards, GW
2020vision Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Yeah, I just can't understand how people bounce from one relationship to the next. I've always made it a point to spend some time on my own after a break-up just so I knew I was moving on with a clear head. People like that have serious issues and yes, you are better off without her! The fact that you take time to recover from a realtionship is normal, otherwise you just repeat the same mistakes and end up an emotional wreck. I recently went out on a date with a guy, and had a fabulous time then he actually admitted to me that he was not over his ex. And at first I was kind of upset, then I realized that at least he is considerate enough to let me know that he is not over the ex instead of involving me in some sort of crazy whirlwind romance that will just end in disaster anyhow.
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