Anybody Have Some Insight?

[GW7147]

O.K. Folks, Here it is.

I'll try to keep it short and sweet. My ex and I went t out for 6 months. She did a 180 on me and walked away. Her story: Her husband treated her like crap, cheated on her (with women and men) and shortly thereafter, she filed for divorce and immediately met another guy. She dated him for 4 months and she told me she planned to marry him and was going to sell her house and buy another with him. I thought "She's not even divorced yet and she's selling her house". I obviously found this out after the fact. He decided to go back with his wife (he cheated on his wife). She met me 2 months later and started talking about spending the rest of her life with me, the whole nine yards (she painted a pretty picture). Went to Cancun and 4 days later decided she needed some time to herself. We parted ways and it's been just over 2 months. I've been NC for 2 months now. I went out tonight at Chili's (restaurant/bar). This 15 Y.O. George (my exes son's best friend) walks up to me and said he was glad to see me. He asked what happened between me and my ex. I told him the truth. He then tells me, she met a guy a month ago and she's getting married!!! Needless to say, I was sort of shocked. He told me ever since she discovered what her husband was doing, she's not been the same. He said her kids have been in all sorts of trouble since she and I broke up (her son got popped for a burglary and grand larceny 6 days after we broke up). He even said she's just out for money (this is coming from a 15 year old). I felt she was materialistic during our relationship but chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. I told George "She must have met this guy before she and I broke up". he said "No, she only met him a month ago". George is at the house all the time and knows pretty much everything about the family. He's a real good kid and has a head on his shoulders for a 15 Y.O. Now, I realize, she's obviously a fruitloop but, it still bothered me to hear she was getting married. George said, she didn't have a ring etc.. I can only figure, she's totally screwed up and that confirms my thought that I don't need anybody like that in my life. I just needed some feedback about what I heard tonight. I realize she has some serious problems and most likely won't marry this guy but, holy crap, it's something I NEVER expected to hear. I just need some feedback to put my mind at ease. I'm not an idiot and know this whole thing is unrealistic but wanted to hear from my fellow LS'ers. Thanks for your time guys.

Regards, GW

[Pink Amulet]

That is bizzare! Did you pay her was in Cancun?

 

I could imagine the embarassment of having to keep your jaw from dropping as a 15 yo regailed these facts to you.

 

2 months no contact is pretty much smooth sailing and it sounds like you were actually lucky it ended between you guys. She sounds like a bit of a head case

[GW7147]

Hi Pink,

We split the cost of Cancun however, when we arrived, she didn't bring any money to buy gifts etc.. I foot the bill for that stuff. I actually second guessed booking the trip due to her having a meeting with her attorney along with her husband and his attorney. When they came to a divorce agreement, she called me and told me what her settlement would be. I almost sensed the fear in her voice. She said, if/when she got remarried, she would lose her alimoney. I told her, if we were to get married, I could pay a majority of her bills etc.. Her mortgage payment etc.. She replied " I would expect you to pay the whole mortgage payment". I just about fell out of my chair. I then said. "If we do get married, I have enough equity in my house to pay her motgage off. We wouldn't need two houses anyway. She replied, "Well, I feel better, knowing you would pay my mortgage off." I feel like a total moron writing this stuff and thinking I bought into her crap. Me, an ex New York cop!! I should have saw the signs back then. Four weeks into our relationship, she came out and asked me how much money I make. I do well for myself. I have a 5 bedroom house in an upscale neighborhood. I certainly don't flaunt it. It's not my style. I should have ran and never looked back. I really feel like emailing her and telling her off, but, I won't give her the satisfaction. She's not worth it. It still kind of hurts hearing everthing she said to me (marriage, me being the best thing that ever happened to her, us spending the rest of our lives together etc...) and then dealing with this stuff. I realize, she's got her head up her ass but as I said before, it stings... I need to try and realize she has alot of issues she needs to address and she'll never have a healthy relationship until she does. The best thing I can think of is: let her new man deal with her spoiled criminal kids and pay all of her bills. I don't need that in a relationship. I don't know, I guess it was inevitable she would move on and meet another sucker. I guess I'm just mad at myself for allowing myself to be a victim to her materialistic, fianancially motivated ways....

[GW7147]

Well,

I woke up this morning and don't feel as bad as I thought I would (I think). I can't help but wonder what her friends, parents etc..think about what she's doing. I mean, it seems pretty obvious she's incapable of being alone to give herself time to heal from her divorce (which still hasn't been finalized). I know this whole thing with her actions seems obvious. I do see what's going on. Insight from other people gives me a bit more strength to forge ahead and maintain NC. Thanks All...

GW

[Numbheart]

I'm absoloutely dumbfounded GW.....QUITE SIMPLY AMAZING.

I'm afraid I cant offer any thoughts as I am quite blown away by this, and cant start to imagine how you must have felt upon hearing this.....it would have destroyed me if I still held a torch for her.

I would certainly start to pity the guy she is with now, there appears to be a certain pattern emerging with her and thank yourself you are out of it now, although I realise how hard this is to do.

[GW7147]

Hey Numbheart,

Long time , no talk (post). I recall you posted on my very first thread, when my my wingnut ex first broke up with me. Yeah, the whole situation is odd. I've talked to a few friends and they all say the same thing. "She just confirmed for you that she's unstable, has alot of issues and she did you a favor by breaking up. I knew when I first heard this news that she must not be wrapped to tight to act this way. Not only is it peculiar behavior, she has a total disregard for her children. Her sons best friend told me about her "getting married" so, her kids must know. How could a woman (parent) date somebody for 4 weeks and then announce to their children that their getting married. The reason for her kids behavior is obvious. I HIGHLY doubt she'll marry this guy (then again, she's just screwed up enough to go ahead with it, provided he's enough of a moron to go through with it too). As I said, it stings a bit but, I do realize she's got some sever insecurities and really has some emtional turmoil she needs to deal with. I doubt she even knows how messed up she is. I know she goes to a counselor. You would think her counselor would tell her to stop being such a compulsive wierdo and come back down to earth. All I know is, as much as I cared for her, I'm really begining to realize she's an absolute mess. And yes, Numbheart, if her new man is dumb enough to follow through with her pursuasive ways (I know I almost did), he's in for a world of heartache and headaches. This whole thing has given me exactly what I need to move on. I know the sting will subside and I'll be able to turn that corner even sooner now ( I hope). Thanks again Numbheart. It's always good to get your thoughts and feedback.

Regards, GW

[Becoming]

Even if you're not a praying man, you should thank God she's out of your life! That was a close one.

 

And don't be so hard on yourself about being taken in by her. You could excuse the first guy after the break-up as a rebound that wasn't likely to work out and take her for real.

 

But you were smart enough to figure out she isn't someone you need to be marrying.

 

Sorry you had to hear it from a 15-yr-old friend of her son. If it seems obvious to him . . . .

 

And if this guy's got $$ she may marry him after all. Geez, sounds like one man's as good as another, like replaceable parts to HER life.

 

Again, thank God!

[GW7147]

Thanks Becoming,

Yeah, I said previously, I think this whole situation has given me the confirmation I needed. It closed the door and made me realize, I'm interested in a meaningful relationship, not one that's based on lies, deceit, bank accounts and no reciprocation. Boy, talk about 20/20 hindsight!! I'm actually begining to feel sorry for her and the way she is. I don't think she recognizes her problems and will probably continue to self destruct until she identifies her issues and deals with them. Not my problem anymore!! Once I can the get the rest of these cobwebs out of my head, I'll be able to really walk away and move on. I just hope I don't get the urge to email her and tell her off. I have to keep reminding myself "She's a materialistic headcase pig!"

[Numbheart]

Thanks again Numbheart. It's always good to get your thoughts and feedback.

Regards, GW

No problem GW, your welcome and I feel humbled by your comment

I did say I would keep an eye on your situation as it was close to my own (but also different, if that makes any sense!)

 

I'd say now that you certainly have more than enough negatives to focus on getting past this....I wish I could find this kind of stuff out about my ex, as it would certainly help me a lot.....as it is, 3 months on and things have got slightly easier, but I still feel stuck in a void, very up and down from one day to the next.

 

I know she goes to a counselor. You would think her counselor would tell her to stop being such a compulsive wierdo and come back down to earth.

:lmao: Fantastic!...that made my day!...can they actually say that to their clients?

[GW7147]

Numbheart,

I can certainly relate to your feelings of being stuck in a void and feeling up and down from day to day. Even with 2 months NC, there was always a feeling of being lost with no clear thoughts on where I should be. I would imagine that's part of breaking up and a phase of healing. Defintely no fun. From reading your post, it appears your situation hasn't changed much with your ex. Still NC? They say, it's supposed to get easier as time goes on but, I found I couldn't shake daily thoughts of what had happened to my ex and I. I almost constantly found myself to be running through the gammet of "ifs and buts". Not a healthy way to handle things but as I said I just couldn't seem to shake those thoughts. (I was watching a sitcom a few days back and somebody said "If, ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas". At least I feel as I have a direction to head in now. I actually received an email from a buddy of mine who is a professional photographer. He advised, he photographed a female last week. "She's a professional sales person, attractive, slim, blonde hair (bonus), from England (another bonus, I was there last September for a month) and about 38 years old". He asked if I was interested in meeting her. I don't know how he plans to set that up but, I'm game. I think I'm comfortable enough to date somebody and take it slow. I would never get involved with somebody and use them as a rebound. We'll see what happens.

By the way, I don't know if a counselor could talk to a client that way or not. I would assume it would depend on what kind of relationship the patient and counselor have. I know my ex had been seeing her counselor for a few years now. I pretty much improvised when I wrote that statement (It would be funny if that was said though!!) I think my ex needs to find a new counselor, she hasn't' seemed to make much progress unless she was a total whack job before I met her!! Keep in touch Numbheart and remain strong and focused. We'll make it through these times. Better things are just around the bend!! Talk to you soon my friend!

Regards, GW

[Numbheart]

Thank you mate.

To be totally honest and lay my cards on the table, I have been a real stupid idiot, yes its been total NC.......for her!!

1 month ago I sent her a text message just about a work related issue, nothing to do with us, she totally blanked me yet again.

I have had a few DVD's, etc waiting to be picked up since our split by a mutual friend, 3 months later (a few days ago), I decided to mail them to her as it appeared obvious they were never going to be collected.

 

STUPIDLY....after many nights of staring at a blank PC screen wondering to write anything at all, I put a letter in with them, laying myself on the line completely, reaching out to her for one final time....I know its the wrong thing to do, taking into account all the advice on here, yet, I am a firm believer in spilling my guts out for whatever I truly believe in.

I feel there is no indignity in being honest, or having peace with myself. However I am interpreted, it's how I intend it that counts. I always do things honestly and sincerely. We're all so concerned with appearing weak that we bypass expressing sincere feelings, as if pride must be preserved at all costs.....that is my perception and feelings anyhow,...I did what I felt I needed to do, regardless of right or wrong, just for my own peace of mind, to know I did everything I possibly could within myself before I let go completely for what I still believe to be totally the wrong reasons....it wasn't a needy or begging letter, it was mature and honest, saying I know I need to look at reality and accept that she feels nothing for me and has no interest in even being civil with me. Its a hard conclusion to come to when we were fantastic together, but "fantastic" is not my current reality.

 

I honestly do not care how she percieves my actions or letter now, I did it for me, if this was never meant to be, then I have just banged that final nail in the coffin for both of us, making her hate me even more and making me realise she really is heartless and uncompassionate.....its what I need, to let go and move forwards, although I have been trying, asking other people out, etc, yet my heart is still not in it....anyone I have been talking to, I just drop, I really have no interest, other than getting myself out there again, but for what?...to have this happen all over again?

 

I know I'll make it through all this, I always have in the past and life goes on, it did before I met her, why should it be any different now?.....thats the part I'm struggling with still, it felt like we were meant to be and I cant help think we will be again at some point,....I need to let that go, and that is something that I am begrudgingly starting to do, VERY, VERY slowly. Its important to me to be able to look back on this and have a rational, peaceful end, because the weirdness and s***ness of how she treats me now is what I continue to struggle with. 3 months on, I should be myself again, I always have been in the past, this thing, has been THE most unnatural and difficult break up I have ever encountered in my life....I would not wish this on my worst enemy!

 

Thanks again GW,......you ever come over here again, make sure you contact me okay?

[trillium]

Thank you mate.

I know its the wrong thing to do, taking into account all the advice on here, yet, I am a firm believer in spilling my guts out for whatever I truly believe in.

I feel there is no indignity in being honest, or having peace with myself. However I am interpreted, it's how I intend it that counts. I always do things honestly and sincerely. We're all so concerned with appearing weak that we bypass expressing sincere feelings, as if pride must be preserved at all costs.....that is my perception and feelings anyhow,...I did what I felt I needed to do, regardless of right or wrong, just for my own peace of mind, to know I did everything I possibly could within myself before I let go completely

 

I've always felt that way too, and I've said probably too much at the end of a relationship in the past. But there was something empowering about putting it all out there that helped me accept how I feel.

 

I believe part of my suffering now is that I didn't completely lay it on the line this last time because I wanted to appear strong and confident.

 

But I think the key to doing that is what you said about not caring whether you get a response or not.....

[Becoming]

Amen to Trillium's post. At the end knowing you were true to who you are is all you've got. If the other doesn't want that, then it's their loss and someone else's gain.

 

Sometimes breakups that are harded to get over than others are an indication that you're trying to work out some leftover grief from long ago. Could that be the case? I mean like years and years ago, like your psyche is trying to get you to pay attention to something that wasn't resolved years ago.

[Numbheart]

I've always felt that way too, and I've said probably too much at the end of a relationship in the past. But there was something empowering about putting it all out there that helped me accept how I feel.

 

I believe part of my suffering now is that I didn't completely lay it on the line this last time because I wanted to appear strong and confident.

 

But I think the key to doing that is what you said about not caring whether you get a response or not.....

 

I did what I did for myself, I am a man of integrity, I told her from day one I would always want her back and always find it hard to split with her, my actions now reinforce my sentiments.....I am proud to be able to lay myself on the table, not caring about how it makes me look just out of foolish ego and pride, I carry my self worth on my shoulders,....to my inner self, this makes me more of a man than any "game player" on here..i.e. do not give them the power BS.....within myself, I feel more of a man for being able to lay myself open and exposed, regardless of how I am interpreted, I am proud of myself.......its taken a great deal of balls to do this knowing too well how it can be viewed, but I still have my pride held high.......I very much doubt she can say the same for herself.

 

I AM the better person!

[Numbheart]

Sometimes breakups that are harded to get over than others are an indication that you're trying to work out some leftover grief from long ago. Could that be the case? I mean like years and years ago, like your psyche is trying to get you to pay attention to something that wasn't resolved years ago.

 

Nope....personally speaking certainly not......I have no quarms with any previous relationship now, I did my time getting over them all in different perspectives and proportions,....this last one was TOTALLY different to any other I ever experienced, and the only sensible explanation to how I feel now.....now, I KNOW I am just being human, not hiding or running from my emotions, pretending they are not there, I let them smack me in the chin, and take it.....I've always known I need to grieve over a break up, this time though, it has been completely overwhelming.

[GW7147]

Hey Numbheart,

If you made contact with the ex in order to clear your head and put your mind at ease, I see nothing wrong with that. The whole NC thing is tough to maintain. I've done it for 2 months. Didn't particularly enjoy it, but I suppose the reasons we're here aren't enjoyable either. I agree with your mindset of speaking your mind. I see no point in mindgames and the whole "mental hotfoot" thing. You stepped up, gave it one more shot and provided yourself with some much needed answers. At least you can say "Well, I tried and put forth the effort to make things work, she didn't and that's her problem". Although, it's the last thing we want to accept, if it provides closure that were (not) looking for, it can help us bite the bullet and move on. Similar to the way, I found my situation. I was almost forced to accept things and begin my walk to moving on at a more determined pace. I honestly felt like I was floundering for the past 2 months and now, I was given a solid green like to GO!!

To be honest with you, I'm half tempted to send my ex an email and put my thoughts into words (and cramming them down her throat!!). I heard all the crap about her having to work through her divorce issues and how she "was dead inside" (brain dead maybe) etc.. obviously that was a bunch of crap unless, she initially had good intentions to heal herself and found she just can't be alone (I doubt it). I can't help but think at this point, that she feels she can walk through life, take what she wants, discard what she doesn't and think she's not hurting people in the meantime. I'll have to throw around the idea of emailing for a while and see how I feel about it after a week or so. I have nothing to lose by emailing her (I'm quite certain, I would NEVER go out with her again). I just don't wan to do it and kick myself in the butt for doing it. Not for her sake but for my own. Maybe, I'll send her an engagement card wishing them all the best!! I can address it to Sybil and ---,

I also agree with you about your comment of this break-up being more intense than past relationships. My ex and I were together for about 6 months, we've now been broken up for almost 3 months (3 more weeks). That's half the time we were together. October will be the same amount of time we were together. I think because I was really interested in settling down and took to heart, all of the things she said to me about spending the rest of our lives together, it had a profound effect on me. I held onto to those thoughts and now I'm being forced to toss them in the gutter. I guess I'm different then her in that respect, I can't just turn emotions on and off.

Of course, if I'm ever over in your parts, I'll let you know. I actually have family there. My "Mum" is from England (St Helens). Roy Pilkington (Pilkington's Glass) is my cousin. I was actually thinking of asking him to set me up with a job when I was there. I chickened out!! You could always shoot me an email if you'd like as well: [email protected]

Talk to you soon my friend!!

Regards, Greg

[Numbheart]

Thanks Greg, I've noted your email and will be in touch soon.

 

Well, looks like my letter wasnt a bad idea after all, as she rang me today for the first time in 3 months, just over an hour ago....I'm trying to not read too much into it, to be honest, I'm still shocked by it....It looks like she tried ringing my home first, then a friends business where I can usually be found if I'm not working.

She basically said thank you for sending the DVD's back, etc and to let me know after she read my letter that she has not been ignoring me, we are both adults,(dont actually know what she meant by that?) and she had to have her mobile number changed 8 weeks ago, so never got my message.

I said thank you for ringing and letting me know and then said goodbye...I was so shocked, I couldnt wait to get off the phone, I was dying to ask her how she was, if she was coping better with her divorce, etc, but never asked her anything....I was very calm, she sounded very nervous rushing her words.

 

I do not know what to make of this now, it feels almost like shes just given me the green light to stay in touch, but never offered her new number, I never asked for it either....why would you ring someone just to let them know your not ignoring them?.....unless she is just trying to ease her conscience after reading my letter?

[GW7147]

Wow!!

Talk about wierd! Almost seems as if you ex was possibly waiting for the ice to be broken and maybe you gave her the "sign" and opened the door. Maybe she feels relieved and was afraid to make initial contact thinking you were angry. As you mention, it's difficult to read into what she said. If she sounded nervous in her message, it could be she didn't want to give the wrong message or maybe she wanted you to have the right reaction and let you know she has some genuine feelings about this whole thing. Maybe she's having second thoughts about her initial feelings and walking away. I'm of the opinion that maybe you should sit back and let her make the next move. It's kind of difficult and would be easy to "jump up and down" due to having some contact from her. Given my situation, my emotions would be running pretty high, I wish I hadn't heard the news regarding my ex but everyone's circumstances are different. I actually posted a new thread last night title: "I need some" under this same section. The title altered itself when I submitted it. I was having a really tough time last night after going out and then driving home on my own. My thoughts started getting the best of me with this situation with my ex. I became infuriated and was tempted to send a "strongly worded" email to her last night. I took a step back and posted my new thread. I'm glad I didn't jump the gun but, then again, it doesn't matter, given my situation. I'm pretty certain, any shred of reconciliation with my ex is gone at this point. I'm trying to regroup. I just gained access to private messaging in LS so, I guess we would have a couple of options with respect to keeping in touch (one of the few times we'll be given options in life!! Ha ha!). Keep in touch my friend and We'll talk real soon. By the way, congrats on getting a response, maybe there's hope for one of us!!

I'm wishing you all the best.

Regards, GW

[Numbheart]

Thanks mate, I too now appear to have PM's enabled, however, I have sent you mail!

[Numbheart]

Wow!!

I'm of the opinion that maybe you should sit back and let her make the next move.

I'm also of the same opinion now, although shes always known I have never held any resentment towards her or our split.

If I'm going to do anything, it will be to go into her store in a few weeks time, about a work issue, and just try and casually bring up in convo that I hope she is doing good and mention nothing about us, but may say it would be good to go out for lunch, or whatever.....I still dont know fully yet, and to make matters worse, I have been asked out today by someone new!

[GW7147]

Contact from the ex and you've been asked out by somebody else! Seems some good fortune has certainly come your way. It also seems you know which direction you need to head in and you have a good grasp of your circumstances. Being contacted and then being asked out by another must have put a "spring in your step". I feel confident that all of the circumstances surrounding you will turn out positively and things will work out in your favor no matter what happens. As for me, I'll keep making my way through whatever necessary in order to get myself healed and back on track. I guess we all suffer setbacks now and again. That's part of life and I guess we gain strength from our setbacks. I'll be sure to check my mail and write back. I'm sure we'll be able to talk a bit more by email. Once again, I'm glad for your recent positive happenings. Talk to you soon my friend.

GW

[Numbheart]

Contact from the ex and you've been asked out by somebody else! Seems some good fortune has certainly come your way. It also seems you know which direction you need to head in and you have a good grasp of your circumstances.

 

Yes, good fortune does appear to have come my way, however, I have no idea which direction to take at the moment?!....I will pursue the new contact, but I would be back with my ex in a heartbeat if I new I had the chance.....The bloke upstairs really does work in some weird and wonderfull ways, always managing to put the stress and pain onto us, rather than lead us down our path!...I guess fate is fate, whats meant to be is meant to be, and no matter what action I take, fate will provail?

[Curmudgeon]

I'd be doing the happy dancfe if I was you.

 

Clearly this woman is unstable, emotionally hungry and a complete and utter passive dependent. She NEEDS a man in her life and as soon as one comes to his senses and leaves, she grabs another one to take his place.

[In Sync]

O.K. Folks, Here it is.

I'll try to keep it short and sweet. My ex and I went t out for 6 months. She did a 180 on me and walked away. Her story: Her husband treated her like crap, cheated on her (with women and men) and shortly thereafter, she filed for divorce and immediately met another guy. She dated him for 4 months and she told me she planned to marry him and was going to sell her house and buy another with him. I thought "She's not even divorced yet and she's selling her house". I obviously found this out after the fact. He decided to go back with his wife (he cheated on his wife). She met me 2 months later and started talking about spending the rest of her life with me, the whole nine yards (she painted a pretty picture). Went to Cancun and 4 days later decided she needed some time to herself. We parted ways and it's been just over 2 months. I've been NC for 2 months now. I went out tonight at Chili's (restaurant/bar). This 15 Y.O. George (my exes son's best friend) walks up to me and said he was glad to see me. He asked what happened between me and my ex. I told him the truth. He then tells me, she met a guy a month ago and she's getting married!!! Needless to say, I was sort of shocked. He told me ever since she discovered what her husband was doing, she's not been the same. He said her kids have been in all sorts of trouble since she and I broke up (her son got popped for a burglary and grand larceny 6 days after we broke up). He even said she's just out for money (this is coming from a 15 year old). I felt she was materialistic during our relationship but chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. I told George "She must have met this guy before she and I broke up". he said "No, she only met him a month ago". George is at the house all the time and knows pretty much everything about the family. He's a real good kid and has a head on his shoulders for a 15 Y.O. Now, I realize, she's obviously a fruitloop but, it still bothered me to hear she was getting married. George said, she didn't have a ring etc.. I can only figure, she's totally screwed up and that confirms my thought that I don't need anybody like that in my life. I just needed some feedback about what I heard tonight. I realize she has some serious problems and most likely won't marry this guy but, holy crap, it's something I NEVER expected to hear. I just need some feedback to put my mind at ease. I'm not an idiot and know this whole thing is unrealistic but wanted to hear from my fellow LS'ers. Thanks for your time guys.

Regards, GW

 

 

It goes without saying be thankful she's out of your life. And you will sadly enough spent countless hours trying to sort through what transpired between you two...but try looking at it from another viewpoint. What got you involved with her in the first place. I assure you when we keep looking at the faults of our ex's without also seeing how we played a part in getting entwined with these "emtional users" we will in someway and somehow repeat the relationship again. It'll be a different name face and body but the

same type on the inside will come right back into your life..because not looking at your part in getting involved with her will rear its ugly head again. I'm not saying to start blaming yourself but to examine, why did this happened..what attracted me to this user or messed-up-in-her-life person was not a random accident....

[GW7147]

Hey In Sync,

It's really funny that you bring up the issue of having repeat performances in relationships. I actually went to a counselor and we spoke about the above mentioned relationship. I was asked to make a list of past relationships I've been in to include, their history just prior to us going out and the reason for our breakup. There was a pattern with almost everybody I went out with. It seems I would always end up dating women who were just coming out of failed relationships. I suppose I had some insecurities and felt that caused me to try and appear as the proverbial Knight in Shing Armor. Of course, after speaking with this counselor, I've identified the issues with my past relationships and was able to figure out exactly what I was looking for in a relationship. I can honestly say, I've learned my lesson in that department and will no longer even consider revisiting that type of relationship again. Wouldn't you know it, I was speaking with a woman one night (a few weeks ago) when I was out with friends. I see her on a fairly regular basis. Come to find out, she likes me...The kicker....her husband is cheating on her and she's filing for divorce!! I told myself "Ain't happening, I'm not going down that road again. So, after several failed relationships and finally being able identify where I was going wrong, I think I've realized what needs to be done to be done in order to find somebody that isn't a couple clowns short of a circus. Took me long enough...

Thanks for the response. Talk to you later.

GW