mattea Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 my b/f and i have been together for about 7 months. he's sweet and loving and puts a lot of effort into our relationship. but the guy has about a gazillion friends and seems to always want to be adding more to the mix, and sometimes i feel like he's just "fitting me in" to his schedule. granted, i'm glad he makes time to do that, and to spend alone time together. the thing is, i get easily hurt over things. i'm cool with him spending time alone (i need it too) and spending time with other friends (mine or his, with or without me). however, i got kind of hurt lately when he wanted to extend a work trip to include the entire weekend (coming back on monday) so he could hang out with a guy he works with remotely but really doesn't really even know that well. normally this would be not that big of a deal to me, but given that it was immediately following two weeks of his family being here and us having very little time together, i felt hurt that it was a priority for him. i feel like i haven't really had my boyfriend around for most of the last month. ok, here's the real problem - when i get hurt over something i don't say anything if i feel like i'm being immature (which i did in this case). i try to work through it myself and get over it, but then what happens is because i really am harboring these feelings and having trouble moving on from them, i get a bit cold and distant from him. that is NOT how i want to be acting, but i also don't want to overreact to things or be possessive/needy. argh.
magichands Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 Yeah, tough one - finding the balance between nagging, and communicating your needs. If you are hurt by something, then I think you should make the effort to get it out there. Talk about it. Even if you fear you are making a big deal out of nothing, well - it's not nothing to you. Bottling it up isn't working.
ashnicole Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 Communication is key. You need to find a way to talk to him about this, without making him feel like HE'S at fault, when in reality, he could think you're just as much at fault for over-reacting about it. The point is, it's a big deal to you, and it's something that's hurt your feelings. Sensitive or not, it's something you need to get through to him, and see if he's willing to work on it with you.
Guest Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 I have exactly the same situation w/my bf of five months, and react exactly the same way. Please post again, if you feel like it, about whether you had a talk with him, and if so, how he responded. It might help me figure out how to deal with my predicament.
Recommended Posts