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Online Dating and Flaky Behavior


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Posted

I joined an online dating site for the first time ever a little over a week ago. Shortly into my subscription, a guy that seemed really cute and really intriguing started e-mailing me. It was very casual e-mails, just to say hello, asking me if I had more pics, etc. After a few days of e-mailing me numerous times throughout the day, and obsessively looking at my profile, he started asking me more substantive questions such as if I was a student, what a cute girl like me is using the internet for, etc. Granted, I found it a bit strange that he kept the e-mails pretty short, and never got into it too much. Well, one Saturday evening while we were both on the dating site he asked if I wanted to have go have a drink. I declined, saying that I couldn't that evening (I had to get up early for a class the next morning, but I didn't tell him that). The next day when were both again online, I felt emboldened by his asking me out the night before, and asked if he wanted to go for a drinks or coffee later that afternoon/evening. He responded immediately, saying, sure when/where?

 

I e-mailed him an hour later, giving him a time and place, but he never checked the e-mail (you can see whehter someone's read their e-mail). He didn't e-mail me back until the following day in the evening, saying that he had just gotten the e-mail and asking if we could do it some other time. I was pretty put-off by being blown off. I haven't e-mailed him back (it's been 5 days), and I notice that he doesn't check out my profile or anything anymore. Despite his flaky behavior, I still think about him and wonder what he's all about. Is he worth even contacting again? Why would someone act so interested and then totally flake out?

Posted

He really wasn't that interested. He just wanted a piece of ass, and he found someone better looking, or someone that was willing to give it up right then.

 

Not wanting to be mean, just honest.

Posted
Despite his flaky behavior,

I wouldn't call this flakey behavior. He didn't get your email in time. That's the problem with email.

I was pretty put-off by being blown off.

You weren't blown off, your expectations were unreasonable for him to get your message in time, especially with email.

 

Your best bet with online dating is to get them off the internet and onto the phone ASAP. Setting up dates is easier when you talk one on one instead of waiting for someone to come online.

 

You can try him again, but don't be surprised if nothing happens from it. He could have moved onto somebody else by now.

Posted

Honestly, I don't think he is worth contacting agian. He asked you out for Drinks on Saturday night... To me in a way that sounds like a hook - up thing only.

 

Since you asked him out for coffee, he might have gotten the drift that you weren't going to sleep with him right away and went else where.

 

That is what I'm feeling with this guy, If you want Just shoot him a mail that says Hi, stranger? or something like that. If you hear nothing back from him then just give that up. there are plenty of other guys out there that will not play games with you!

Posted

agnf666, I think you're reading into his "actions" too much. There's nothing wrong with going out for drinks on a Saturday night. I know that usually sends off bad vibes with women (which is why I plan week dates) but most, if not ALL men enjoy going out Saturday because it's the weekend, and he doesn't have to worry about work the next day.

I'll tell you something, if I wanted a quick and easy lay, I'd start a date on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

Since you asked him out for coffee, he might have gotten the drift that you weren't going to sleep with him right away and went else where.

What a person drinks doesn't necessarily indicate how horny he or she is. I've never in my life thought about reading into a coffee date in this fashion. It's completely rediculous!

 

But I know women love to analyze things. That's why I love them :)

Posted

He may not have necessarilly been blowing you off. He may have not gotten it right away. Contact him again.

 

On a side note, this is why I like webdate. They have chatrooms that allow interaction in real time, so one doesn't have to miss correspondence.

 

 

 

-R-

Posted
agnf666, I think you're reading into his "actions" too much. There's nothing wrong with going out for drinks on a Saturday night. I know that usually sends off bad vibes with women (which is why I plan week dates) but most, if not ALL men enjoy going out Saturday because it's the weekend, and he doesn't have to worry about work the next day.

I'll tell you something, if I wanted a quick and easy lay, I'd start a date on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

 

What a person drinks doesn't necessarily indicate how horny he or she is. I've never in my life thought about reading into a coffee date in this fashion. It's completely rediculous!

 

But I know women love to analyze things. That's why I love them :)

 

Offtopic note!

 

HAHA... I think me and my situation got mixed up here... I need to go away until I get better... Or get me some...

 

back on topic.

Posted

I wouldn't worry about it too much or even take it personally. It's kinda common in online dating for people to be kinda flaky or non-committal. Especially those that have been doing it for more than 6 months. You get burned a few times and then realize that you have to careful with your time and emotions with online dating. (that goes for men and women)

 

Also keep in mind that in online dating the other person is probably chatting with several other people simultaneously. People are on for different reasons - friendship, sex, love, marriage - you name it.

 

I say....give it more time. Email him back. Again...don't take flakiness too personally online and have fun with it. If you are a stickler for timing then try using instant message to communicate with him.

Posted
I joined an online dating site for the first time ever a little over a week ago. Shortly into my subscription, a guy that seemed really cute and really intriguing started e-mailing me. It was very casual e-mails, just to say hello, asking me if I had more pics, etc.

 

He wants more pics to see if you really look like your profile. Then usually they ask for MORE pics but this time more explicit pics. Then you KNOW they just want to look at your pics and masterbate.

 

After a few days of e-mailing me numerous times throughout the day, and obsessively looking at my profile, he started asking me more substantive questions such as if I was a student, what a cute girl like me is using the internet for, etc.

 

He is on-line constantly looking at your pics because he is ONLINE and not out in the real world going out with girls...

 

Granted, I found it a bit strange that he kept the e-mails pretty short, and never got into it too much.

 

The emails are short for 2 reasons. He is mailing multiple girls and he does not have time to send a long essay unless of course he cuts and pastes one.

 

Well, one Saturday evening while we were both on the dating site he asked if I wanted to have go have a drink.

 

He wants a drink because its cheap and fast. He can see what you look like for $ 4.00

 

I declined, saying that I couldn't that evening (I had to get up early for a class the next morning, but I didn't tell him that). The next day when were both again online, I felt emboldened by his asking me out the night before, and asked if he wanted to go for a drinks or coffee later that afternoon/evening. He responded immediately, saying, sure when/where?

 

Sure he did. At this point anyway...

 

I e-mailed him an hour later, giving him a time and place, but he never checked the e-mail (you can see whehter someone's read their e-mail). He didn't e-mail me back until the following day in the evening, saying that he had just gotten the e-mail and asking if we could do it some other time.

Since you know that he did not check his emails on that day then you know this part is legit. You get people who say they never got your mail but they really did and they are too scared to step outside of the computer.

 

 

I was pretty put-off by being blown off.

 

At that point he was not blowing you off ( yet )

 

I haven't e-mailed him back (it's been 5 days), and I notice that he doesn't check out my profile or anything anymore.

 

He lost interest. He likely is fugly or too socially inept to keep a real date with you.

Despite his flaky behavior, I still think about him and wonder what he's all about. Is he worth even contacting again?

 

Nope. He lost interest fast.

 

Why would someone act so interested and then totally flake out?

 

Welcome to On-Line dating. I don't take it seriously anymore. I do go out and do stuff but I don't expect anything anymore .

Posted
Welcome to On-Line dating. I don't take it seriously anymore. I do go out and do stuff but I don't expect anything anymore .

 

:lmao:

 

That is well said!

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