sunnie23 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Ok, under the advice of my mother, as much as I cannot stand self-help books, I bought Dr. Phil's Love Smart. Has anyone read it? What do you think about his philosophies? According to the book, I am insecure and desperate, afraid to be alone. Lately I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend, who is an "80% guy" as Dr. Phil puts it. Despite the fact that he has most of the qualities I look for in a mate, that special something just isn't there. After seven months together, it feels like we're just friends. There's no passion, no desire, no butterflies. I haven't ended it yet for two reasons, one is that we have a wedding this Saturday, and the other is that i want to make sure it's the right decision. Is that enough of a reason to leave? Or do i stay considering he has everything I am looking for? Am I feeling this way because of my insecurity and fears?
norajane Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I have insecurities and fears, but that doesn't stop me from feeling passion for my SO. Did you ever feel passion for your guy? Did the passion fade? Sometimes you can become too familiar by being around each other all the time...you fall into a rut and the passion isn't quite there. You can get it back by doing small things...grabbing his butt when you pass by him, sending dirty emails back and forth, taking a small trip together where you are just focusing on making each other feel good...doing the same kinds of things you did when you first met. Also, keep in mind that a lot of times those butterflies you feel at the start of a relationship are from anxiety...not knowing what will happen and whether he likes you or not.
Lovegod Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 First of all, Dr. Phil is an idiot. Throw out the book. I haven't ended it yet for two reasons, one is that we have a wedding this Saturday, I hope to hell it's not your wedding. Despite the fact that he has most of the qualities I look for in a mate, that special something just isn't there. After seven months together, it feels like we're just friends. There's no passion, no desire, no butterflies. In other words, he's as boring as a video game system without any games. You could keep the thing because it's the best game system out there, but it's worthless without having any games to make it useful and meaningful. There are few truly good men out there. Don't settle for someone just because he's society's definition of "a good man". Find someone who brings a bit of excitement into your life!
Outcast Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 Dr. Phil can be a doofus sometimes, but much of the time he's got it right. Excitement is ok for dating, but not necessarily what's needed over the long term. I'm also wondering if there was ever passion or desire.
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