Guest Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Usual story, 3.5 years with the 'greatest guy' because he treated me so well. Very attentive in the beginning and all about me. Famous words were 'whatever your heart desires'. Come on - who wouldn't fall for that line??!! So, looking back he began to pull away when I started to mention small things about a future together. I was in no hurry and was not pressuring which is why this lasted so long. I have a 15 yo daughter that had trouble accepting I was dating so I was in no hurry to change up her life either. Oh I am 38 and he is 44 - never been married, no kids. Recently (and the only real time we had disagreements) he started to cancel time that could be spent with me. The usual CP stuff - now I know this since reading up on it. Well, I got mad when he had plans to stay at my house one night and after arriving with a bag packed to stay, he announced he was leaving to go home. So, I got mad and broke up with him telling him he obviously did not want to be in this relationship any longer. This was 3 weeks ago tomorrow. He did the NC thing pretty well, I must say. I did call a few times to try to get answers as to why he did not want to spend time with me anymore and the most I could get was his feelings changed. He still loved me but after this long he thought he should be ready to comitt and he wasn't. I am really writing to tell you all that may be at the end of a CP relationship that you should learn all you can. I have had 3 good days in a row now. Mostly because I now know it was not me. I did nothing wrong. I loved him and loved him well. He loved me well, too. He just could not give more than he was giving already. He even told me he would have stayed in the relationship if it could have remained on his terms with no further commitment, although he did not use those words. I do not believe he knows he is CP. It is sad that he can not commit. I, however, need more than that. So, I am doing well knowing that this relationship was destined to fail right from the start. I had some great times with him and will cherish the memories. But, I know it can never be more - and accepting that is half the ache that is now fading away. The other half of the ache is losing your best friend. That one will take time. I do still love him and am not mad at him at all. He is who he is and he is who I love. I forgive him for my heart ache.
Diver012 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 You are handling things way better than I did.... I salute you...
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