sugarplum Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Well, these are little more shallow - but I agree with all the other ones. I can't manage a relationship with a guy who is shorter than me (even though I have met lots of cute and nice ones!) or who weighs more than me - even if not overweight. Teeth matter to me too. He can be the nicest guy in the world, but if he has nasty teeth or bad oral hygeine, its over. Pink, should smelly fingers be on your list? Just kidding!
Author Pink Amulet Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Wow that is strange! A curse is a pretty damn effective deal-breaker I say...
Author Pink Amulet Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Pink, should smelly fingers be on your list? Just kidding! *adds it*
sugarplum Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 or who weighs more than me - even if not overweight. What the heck was I saying? Time for more coffee! I meant a guy that weighs less than me, and no, I'm not overweight.
climbergirl Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I had a 'Deal Breaker' this week during a trip to DisneyWorld...... #1-Berating me nonstop in front of his young girls (we were in a car), getting them involved in the argument (against me) and, afterward, no apology. #2-yelling/cursing at me in front of my young girls. That was f@cking it!
PandorasBox Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I guess my deal breakers would be, cheating and abuse of any kind. When I was married and at some point had suspected my husband of cheating, I told him upfront, if I find out you are, thats it, its over. And thats exactly what happened. Hot damn I finally have PMs!
littlekitty Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Ahhh... true love. Like that Bridget Jones - loved just the way you are. And God it's good when you find a love like that... Thank God for my SO who loves me... just the way I am.
littlekitty Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 My main ones would be: Cheating Lying No respect
basscatcher Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I know from experience what are deal breakers for me---{letting go is hard but I eventually do it..} *Mental, Physical, Emotional abuse *Mental, Physical, Emotional abuse of my son *Illegal drug use or dealing. *Neglect *Infidelity *Lack of affection and attention (building tools and maintanence of relationship) *Overly dependant or clingy *Controlling *Lack of interpersonal communication and interests *Not family oriented *Atheism *Absolute rejection of Catholicism I think this is a pretty good start.. I believe you must have a healthy balance of similiar morals, values and beliefs to be able to handle the dynamics in a relationship. There also needs to be enough differences to stay interested in one another. (not so drastic it causes conflict.)
PandorasBox Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 You wouldn't believe the people I have talked to or had conversations with about this very thing. They have said this and that would be a deal breaker, later on to find out the things they said would be a deal breaker, they never left or got out of the situation over. I have a friend right now that told me before, that a deal breaker for her would be if her husband cheated or abused her. As of right now, not sure about the cheating part, but he is abusing her and has been for about 9 years. I'm sure its harder for some to get out of a situation than for others, but I guess its sometimes too, what one is willing to put up with.
Author Pink Amulet Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 PandorasBox- I know what you mean. I guess you can keep these "rules" until you fall in love and lose your sanity... love
basscatcher Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 PandorasBox- I know what you mean. I guess you can keep these "rules" until you fall in love and lose your sanity... love Deal breakers are just that. There are times when you tolerate it for awhile because of denial but when you know your morals and values for yourself you will eventually become strong enough to enforce that deal breaker. Getting through the facts and emotions is the hard part of letting go when one of your dealbreakers is broken. It's not always cut and dry. Sometimes you have to deal with a soggy part before you dry out. When one of my dealbreakers has been broken I have ALWAYS got out; eventually.
climbergirl Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 You wouldn't believe the people I have talked to or had conversations with about this very thing. They have said this and that would be a deal breaker, later on to find out the things they said would be a deal breaker, they never left or got out of the situation over. I have a friend right now that told me before, that a deal breaker for her would be if her husband cheated or abused her. As of right now, not sure about the cheating part, but he is abusing her and has been for about 9 years. I'm sure its harder for some to get out of a situation than for others, but I guess its sometimes too, what one is willing to put up with. It's harder to recognize when you are so close to it.....or, at least, it's a slow recognition. And one on one, a person thinks they can handle it. It's easier to get out of that kind of relationship when it starts affecting those that you love (kids).
PandorasBox Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 It's harder to recognize when you are so close to it.....or, at least, it's a slow recognition. And one on one, a person thinks they can handle it. It's easier to get out of that kind of relationship when it starts affecting those that you love (kids). Very true and understandable. And I guess no one knows for sure what they may or may not do until they are in that situation. I guess in my friends case, I just hate seeing this happening, with her having no motivation or will power to atleast try to leave the situation. I think she stays for various reasons and I'm not trying to judge her or anyone else for staying, but when its someone you know and care about, I guess its a little hard to swallow, especailly when there is a kid involved. Pada, I love what you said, "Sometimes you have to deal with the soggy part before you dry out."
climbergirl Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Very true and understandable. And I guess no one knows for sure what they may or may not do until they are in that situation. I guess in my friends case, I just hate seeing this happening, with her having no motivation or will power to atleast try to leave the situation. I think she stays for various reasons and I'm not trying to judge her or anyone else for staying, but when its someone you know and care about, I guess its a little hard to swallow, especailly when there is a kid involved. Pada, I love what you said, "Sometimes you have to deal with the soggy part before you dry out." It is a hard thing to watch and yet be supportive.........and I'm sure your friend has a threshhold where she absolutely will not tolerate it anymore! What's worrisome about those types of situations (particularly physical) is what it will take to get to that breaking point. Another deal breaker for me---moochers.
phyrespryte Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Got me thinking... the ones that gave me polo shirts ended pretty quick 1-3 months later. Gues it is just a coincidence. :eek: The ones that didn't the relationship would slowly drift. Are you a polo shirt kind of guy or not really? I think whenever I got a heart shaped pendant I would start to really question the how well he knew me. The last guy who gave me one was like...I know you hate hearts, but it's so pretty!
Sassy Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I use to say that my deal breaker would be cheating. Well i ate my words cause it happened and that wasn't it. I took him back . You never know what you do till you walk in those shoes. Never say never!
jerbear Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Are you a polo shirt kind of guy or not really? I think whenever I got a heart shaped pendant I would start to really question the how well he knew me. The last guy who gave me one was like...I know you hate hearts, but it's so pretty! I am actually. Polo shirts are also one of the safest guy gifts that is up there with ties. I personally do not like getting polo shirts on my bday. Or ties for any occasion. On my bday or that month, getting laid is what I prefer. As a guy, if I know that if you hate hearts, I would not give hearts. I have a friend who hates bows. Gave her a gift with a bow on it just for the fun of it and told her that. rattling her cage is fun sometimes.
jerbear Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 It has been awhile. This thread just jogged my memory. Lying by giving those lame lines like: I was trying to protect your feelings I didn't know I did not want to hurt yoru feelings I understand there are white lies and I can accept those but pre-breakup lines like above. I ditched her that day.
Author Pink Amulet Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 "I was trying to protect your feelings", is the worst of the worst
PandorasBox Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 "Im an a**hole for hurting you. I'm sorry I wont do it again." Then a week later they are doing exactly what they said they wouldn't do all over again.
laRubiaBonita Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 My deal breakers: * Not wanting kids * Not respecting my belief, religious and non or my opinions * Not respecting my morals
HeyYouGuys Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 Oh, see now for me...wanting kids is a deal breaker! People are so different! Other deal breakers; Hating animals (being allergic is one thing...but HATING them? I can't understand or relate!). Judging people based on their income, skin color, ethnicity or sexual preferance. Treating those in service professions like crap. Being condescending, arrogant or downright rude. ESPECIALLY in front of others. Striking me or physically hurting me (intentionally) in any way. Stealing or lying (a little white lie is excusable...but a big lie? Nuh uh) Not liking sex (believe me, there are men out there who don't!)
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