Chris123 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 just wait.. since your realized what the problem is. So now all you have to do is wait for her to tell you how she feels. Don't jump on it now or you gonna back to sqare one. I was in your situation and i realized what the problem was and told her after two weeks of NC. But it backed fire right away because i realized she dind't think about anything (she was jus out having fun). so telling her how you feel will only push her away. It's so true, i learned it the hard way. Jus wait. time will fix things.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 7, 2006 Author Posted July 7, 2006 just wait.. since your realized what the problem is. So now all you have to do is wait for her to tell you how she feels. Don't jump on it now or you gonna back to sqare one. I was in your situation and i realized what the problem was and told her after two weeks of NC. But it backed fire right away because i realized she dind't think about anything (she was jus out having fun). so telling her how you feel will only push her away. It's so true, i learned it the hard way. Jus wait. time will fix things. That makes me feel confident. I feel that my ex will eventually decide what she wants. She told me once she gets out of this "thing" she wont want to be alone anymore. She just wants to have fun and experience things without me for the first time in her life. I mean I started dating her when she was 15. So ill give her time and space. Like I said im not waiting for her. But I want to be there when she decides what she wants. So ill continue my life without her. Im working on my own personal things. Im not going to look for another girl, ( Why?....because 1. Im not ready. 2. I need to finish what I started. 3. I dont want to deal with that right now) Like I said I want to be single for awhile. Nothing wrong with that.
dub03 Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Thurs... nearly everyone on here is going through a tough time, and most everyone wants their ex back, (Including me.) So this may be a bit hypocritical on my part, but I am going to call this situation as I see it. Some of us will get back together with our ex and some of us wont. I dont want to get down on you specifically, but you really need to move on. I hate to say this to you, but you need to hear it. You are probably one who will not get back together, and though it hurts like hell its a good thing for YOU. You two are so young. I still think that I am still very young, and I am seven years older than you. I cant even recall all the girls I have had flings with and hardships I have gone through since I was 18. At this point in my life I know I want a true and serious relationship, but back then I was just having fun. Without question your ex wants to see what else is out there, and no one can blame her. She is what 17!?! You dont realize how much you still have to experience. Also, some people will probably frown on me for saying this, but underage drinking is normal and a right of passage. It opens up social pipelines, and allows you to meet new people. You may want to try socializing that way, and at least see if its for you. Just DONT DRINK AND DRIVE! If its not for you, thats fine there are other ways to meet people, this way is just the easiest. Also I have a question... are you going to college? If so, you want to be single for at least your freshman year. You will never be around more single girls in your life, and its the best time you will ever have....Chin up, you have a great life ahead of you. Although you feel like your world has come crashing down upon you now; you have so much coming your way and so much to offer, as you sound like a really decent individual. I hope this didnt bum you out too much, I just want you to realize how much you have to look forward to!
Author Thursday_le Posted July 8, 2006 Author Posted July 8, 2006 dubz...you have your right to an opinion...but i dont agree with it. Ive made my decision and Im not going to change it for anyone. You dont know the two of us so I dont think this is the end. Maybe she will call me, maybe not. Who knows. And I have moved on...not completly...but enough that I dont think about her 24/7. Sry if I sound like an ass but I dont agree with what you said...us not getting back together. I just dont see why you would say something like that. Theres no concrete answer for what will happen and you seem like you have the answer. Ill leave it open. Whatever happens, Ill be a better person.
Nedved28 Posted July 9, 2006 Posted July 9, 2006 I know its not nice to hear Thursday but dub03 is just giving his honest opinion on the info you've provided!! I not gonna say you'l never get back together but personally i think you'l move on and learn from this experience. You'l never forget her as she's your first true love but you'l have other options and there will be other girls who you'l get to know. what you gotta try and do now is blank any thoughts of you ever getting back together with her. Its the only way you'l move forward. If you hang on to these thoughts that someday...well its just gonna give you hope and being hopeful and longing for something that might not ever happen is not good unfortunatley. You have to be honest with yourself and accept that!! take your time to heal, take all the time you need and then move on when your ready. Keep your faith that you have that it could happen some day but try not to dwell on it to long.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 10, 2006 Author Posted July 10, 2006 I honestly dont dwell on it at all. I have been my normal self again. Having fun at work and getting into doing my job. I just bought a car ...well on monday Ill get it. I got a cell phone( sounds stupid, but ive never had one) i dont use it cause I dont have anyone to call or to call me...LOL. I bought some new clothes, shoes and stuff. I think Im treating myself well. Im going to my college next week to register my classes. I am getting a job promotion tomorrow( extra dollar...Whoo hooo!..lol). I think my life is going great...but last night when I came home from work I picked up the phone and started to dial my ex's number....I have no idea why. I cant say that ive ever done that before. Its like im doing so good now and I wish I could share all my great news with her. I know shes just a stranger now. It sucks. I hope that life takes her where she wants to be someday. Weither it involves me or not....I wish her the best. I wont ever say " she'll never talk to me ever again for the rest of my life." If she doesnt....then I'll know she didnt really love me. Sry if I seem too optimistic. I believe this happend to us to make things better in the future. For anyone to say that there are plenty other girls...well ive known that all along....but that didnt make we throw myself at them. I believe in reconsiliation.( cant spell ). If nothing ever happens with her and I then I wont feel bad. WHy? because my outlook on life is so much different then a month ago. I dont feel the need for a girl. I can move on without one. Of course I want to get married someday but not untill im at least 25. Thats 7 years of me time. Hopefully Ill find the right girl for me by then. Or maybe I already found her. Shes changing. I know she 17. My best option is to leave her alone and when/if she wants me someday then I might be there...I might not. Like I said I cant give up. Thats just not my personality. I believe If something is wanted bad enough that it can happen...but only if both truely want it. She was too young for a full-time commitment. Its better this happend now rather than 5 years from now and we could have been married. Shes a smart girl....just confused and wanting to find the answers herself. I respect that. I love her and always will. My grandpa told me that he liked her a lot. He said that someday she will come around. Like I said " Only time, hope, faith and a little luck will decide."
Nedved28 Posted July 10, 2006 Posted July 10, 2006 Glad tio hear that thursday!! thats the most realistic and positive post you've sent!!i'm very happy to hear your starting to move on!! those things you bought, clothes,car, cell phone are little treats you bought and you deserve them!! good for u man!!
Author Thursday_le Posted July 11, 2006 Author Posted July 11, 2006 Thx nedved. Im doing better. Im hopeing we have a future together. But im putting that aside and continueing my life without her. Its been 3 weeks since the break-up. 15 days of NC. Im going to keep it goin! For the good of both of us. My mom told me its only fair to give her a minimum of a year. If I dont hear from her by then...well it will be ok, because my life will go on without her.
Author Thursday_le Posted July 12, 2006 Author Posted July 12, 2006 I kinda feel sad...Just a little. My ex had so much potential. She was a sweet innocent girl. Fun loveing and liked everyone. But now I found out shes going to parties and drinking liquor..( I cant even spell the s***). It bothers me that someone like her would step into that scene. I think that I can have just as much fun sober if not more. Ill never get drunk to get wasted. Its kool to drink a few beers with some buddies or even liquor..(lol...spelling). I have no real problem with that untill it get to the point where it effects your life. My step-father has been fighting alcholism for the last 25 years. Its a rollercoaster. Even her father is an alcholic....he goes to bars at night and her mom stays home. So there isnt alcohol in the house. Also my ex has a twin sister and she is totally not into drinking. What happend? Will she ever realize that getting wasted will soon effect her social/school/work/personal life? I mean im out of the picture now....thats step one I guess. Anyone have some answers to these questions?
Nedved28 Posted July 13, 2006 Posted July 13, 2006 Its not easy Thursday but i guess it was only a matter of time before she started drinking as the people she was hanging out with seem to do it!! But how did you find out? I think its great that you d'ont drink as your right you can fun sober but she could be just social drinking!! I do it and a lot of people do it so if thats what i'm guessing she's doing!! the partying thing is different!! she'l go through this stage for a while and i guess she need that!! but after a while you gotta get yourself out partying also thursday!! there'l be plenty of opportunities to do it when u go to college and it'l be great fun!! you d'ont have to try and meet anybody new or anything but it'l be good for you just like it is for her. drink doses'nt always have to be the main ingredient for a good party but it helps i guess!! lol but you stick to your principles and d'ont drink as you'l have fun anyway!! i see you've started to post on other threads also!! thats good!! it'l do you good and believe me man it can be great theraphy!! try not to think of her partying to much!!your still recovering and your gonna have your good days and sad days!! But you doing great!! 16 days NC!! Congrats!!
Author Thursday_le Posted July 13, 2006 Author Posted July 13, 2006 Thx again nedved. I think Im beyond the missing and all that sad stuff. The way I look at it. Ill just keep the memories with me for life. And In the future when she contacts me again ill be emotionally stable and possibly ready for some reconsileing(spelling). Dont say ..." well dont wait for her...or dont count on her contacting you again." Im not getting any hopes up. I just know one day when shes mature enough that she will contact me again...some way. Now that my outlook on life is different...I look at this as something good. This definatly doesnt mean this is the end forever. Nothing is forever. My best friend was talking to me yesterday and he said " OMG...f that bitch..." and I said " dude dont call her names...she just did what she thought was best for her...and she has to experience these things and make mistakes before she can be mature enough to have a relationship again." He said " Thats 2 years wasted!!!" Me " No it wasnt. It was the best 2 years of my life...Ill never regret anything I did with her or for her.Every dime was worth the while. I know that if were meant to be...that this isnt the end forever." Then he said " If in 3 years she tries to come back would you take her back?" me " Definatly....I mean I have to at least give it a shot. If theres things that didnt change or things that just dont click between us then ill call it off and that would really be it. You cant say it wouldnt have worked out unless you gave it a shot..." You guys understand me? So ya....Im single and its awsome. Feels great to be free. Time for me to meet new chicks and stuff to hang out with. No relationships for me..lol. Again ...I love her still...just in a different way. Im no longer in love. I swear she loves me too. Just not the same way either. Later everyone! Thurs
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